Lazers

Everyone's talking about Artemis II, the first humans to travel to the moon in 50 years

Historic, right? BUT nobody's talking about the Deaf people who made it possible.

In the late 1950's, NASA had a problem.

They needed to understand what weightlessness did to the human body but every test subject kept getting violently motion sick

NASA needed to figure out FAST during the space race!

So, they went to Gallaudet University. They recruited 11 Deaf people.

Because a number of Deaf people had lost their hearing to spinal meningitis as children which also damaged their vestibular system.

Their inner ears couldn't be overwhelmed. They were immune to motion sickness.

NASA put them in centrifuges. Put them on zero gravity flights. A room for 12 straight days.

(All caps) It rotated the entire time.

One experiment on a ferry in choppy Nova Scotia waters, the researchers got so seasick they had to cancel it. The Gallaudet Eleven? They were playing cards.

Their bodies gave NASA the data and research it needed to send humans into space.

No Gallaudet Eleven? No Mercury. No Apollo. No Artemis II.

They stood on the shoulders of 11 Deaf people most people have never heard of.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

"It's said that when times are darkest, the Chosen One will rise to right the ancient wrongs. My foster parents (who found me in mysterious circumstances when I was a baby) think that my uncanny resemblance to a hero involved in the ancient wrongs might be a sign that the Chosen One will arrive soon. I hope so."

"Man, i would've died again back there if that mysterious stranger hadn't come out of nowhere and risked his life to help me get away. I managed to stay with him long enough to ask why he kept saving me once and all he said was "the ancient oaths must be fulfilled". he must be so busy if he's under an oath to keep helping random strangers. :)"

"Uuugh, our quest is taking us right through the lands of the evil that the Chosen One will have to defeat! It would be so much easier to sneak through if we came after the Chosen One. All the signs for their arrival are here, I hope he actually comes soon. He should be recogniseable, they say he'll have my exact hair and eye colour, and a mysterious Mark of the Crescent Moon, kind of like this burn scar I got last year."

"When we got captured by the rebels, it was really clever of my guide to point at me and say 'you have to let us through, this kid is literally the Chosen One,' and then list off all that stuff about me in ways that made it sound like I fit the prophecy. He's such a quick thinker! I feel bad about lying to all those rebels though. :("

Okay. Cool.

Yeah. Let's do that.

With a single news source. That doesn't typically cover news like this, nor cover the news it typically covers all that well.

It's not his fault that only Times of India take his tweet seriously. That's what usually happens whenever non-white diplomats make statements on their twitter accounts.

This is the equivalent to camp executions the Nazis did. It's exactly the same thing

Israel's Knesset passed a bill on Monday mandating the death penalty for Palestinians convicted of deadly acts of terrorism. The bill stipulates that the death penalty will be imposed on a terrorist who killed a person "with the intent to deny the existence of the State of Israel."

In doing so, the bill's wording creates a distinction designating it almost exclusively for Palestinian terror, while the ideological burden of proof it sets is expected to make its application to Jewish nationalist terror nearly impossible.

The genocide of Gaza is still ongoing.

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