ENOUGH.

I wish that I could say the right thing to make all of the pain and confusion in the midst of your loss disappear. That part of your heart with your cat’s named etched on it never really goes away, I don’t think. I don’t think that we’d ever want it to, either.

I found a lot of comfort in writing letters “to her” after I lost my cat. I’d write the date and journal on my phone Notes app and talk “to her” about how I was feeling and how I was coping, and even though I cried a lot, I think that it helped me. Eventually the letters got less frequent, going from daily to every few days to weekly, and then less and less from there. I haven’t written one in a few months now. I might do it tonight just because of this, though.

Bohun was lucky to have someone by him that loved him as much as you do. I read a comic once that said Grief is just the entity of Love after loss— where once the huge presence of overwhelming Love would wrap itself around you whenever you saw Bohun, now that same huge, overwhelming presence sits on your shoulders as Grief when you see a photo of him, or his toys still around your house. I hope that makes some kind of sense. I think it was a comic by timbrierley based on an excerpt from an interview with Andrew Garfield, if that helps you find it any better. It was a concept that meant a lot for me.

I don’t know about your belief in afterlife, but I think that the biggest comfort for me after losing my girl was thinking about the life I’d tell her about having once my life comes to a close and I get to see her again. Telling her that even though it was hard without her, I made it through and did all of the things that I dreamed about when holding her at night.

Sorry for rambling for so long, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for your loss, but thank you for showing all of us what a precious boy Bohun was. Thank you for loving that little creature as hard as you could, even though the cost of his loss is so great. I wish you the best in your healing, and I think that somewhere out there, Bohun and Keke are both wishing you the best, too.

Thank you so much for this, and I’m so sorry about Keke as well. It’s insane how much they mean, and you had the exact type of dip relationship I had with Bohun. I’m going to start confronting it more now, I genuinely havent been able to think and process it for weeks.

I'm so, so, so terribly sorry for your loss. I remember the moments where you sent pictures of him, how floofy and loving and loyal. Even though I only got to know him through your screen I could feel the affection. The way you cared for him and the way he knew that you loved him so much. I'm sure he had no regrets. He was such a magnificent boy, showered by love. It's amazing how much love is stored in a cat and how much cats taught us about life and made us to keep trying each day. To think they're just a small* (citation needed) animal and they show their appreciation to their hooman-friend... in the way they can, in the little they can do.

Good night Bohun. It's going to be so beautiful up there in the skies. Stars and moon at night to accompany you, and white clouds and rainbows you can snore on and play.

One day your hooman-friend will look up and realize how far you two have come together. How long you've had each other, and how warm your cuddles and his fur-caressing felt. One day, he will be proud to know that he took the leap to get to know you despite the allergy. One day, he will be comforted knowing he never wasted your trust.

And one day, your hooman-friend will heal.

Thank you so much, I’ve been mortified to think about him. I received his urn a week ago but I can’t even look at it. But I did pick it out so it’s gray and metal, and my idea is that I would like to be buried with it.