Hunter Rodrigez

It's the best thing in the world to befriend animals

Ah yes, my bad spending habits such as paying rent and buying food...

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

"Imagine a burger, now imagine eating it... while you're driving!"

There's no better case for socialism than the world's first trillionaire being a massive loser who cosplays as his mom and baby online and lies about being good at video games in an attempt to give his life meaning.

Adding "you would be friends with Hitler if he liked vocaloid" to that same list as "y'all would fuck a fence if it was white"

Capitalist voice: "NOOO, the human resource must be as miserable as possible at any given moment!"

Why are people so freaked out when they find out someone died in their house. People die everywhere. It’s kind of the thing we do as mortals

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

I would immediately suspect you to be the whimsical assassin who killed them