I am not a bot, but I sure as hell don't know else

@danashehab has been fundraising since may and is just over €15,000 away from their goal l. as stated in the screenshot people are starting to believe the rafah crossing will open so it’s important to make sure everyone has the funds in case they are allowed to evacuate.

thee shehab family consists of dana (13), sahar (14), mona (9), malak (5), yehya (1.5), fahed, (38), reem (32), and grandmother mona (60). they have been shadowbanned and deleted a few times. you can also find this family at @monashehab

I need you to help me protect the rest of my family. I cannot afford to lose any of them. Any amount will make a difference in saving them.

🚨IF YOU IGNORE THIS, YOU ARE DOOMING MY FAMILY TO DEATH 🚨Guys, donations are slow, please don't leave me, I need your support

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Here is my story 🍉🇵🇸

So naturally, the solution to all this is to say "phooey" and start posting about it. In the interest of organization, and taking a leaf from @gallusrostromegalus whose wonderful work on Yu-Gi-Oh and Bleach inspired me with this particular strain of madness all things related to this hypothetical AU are going to be tagged with a silly phrase / title, in this case, that being The Ninja Economy Is In Shambles. (TNEIIS for short)

And I am going to bait this unceremonious ask trap by talking about Tenten. Here is my take on Tenten.

Tenten is a jobber. (For those unfamiliar with the term, that is someone in pro wrestling who spends a lot of time losing to other people)

This is a result of the fact that what she's actually good at does not test well.

In an actual fight, Tenten is terrifying, because Tenten is basically a roguelike protagonist grafted into a different genre.

@biteyourcrush : Oh Tenten is SCARY scary, got it got it good to knoooow. God her no-holds barred fights are gonna have her living rent free in a lot of opponents heads, huh? Hypothetical Temari v Tenten round 2 and she just horrifically *keeps getting back up,* yeah that'll freak a girl out and have her questioning things in the middle of the night.

Today's offering: the Sand Siblings.

Gaara is fourteen. Gaara is traumatized. Gaara didn't exactly have a great grasp on socialization or connection before he came to the conclusion that people, by default, hate him, but he's extremely strong and thinks very little of killing (people, by default, also break easily, in his experience) so he is on a team with people two years his senior and doesn't realize this might be a problem.

Why would it be? The only people he actually trusts are here. So that's fine. Gaara is happy. He likes the moon, and his siblings, and how quiet things get at night. He likes reading the same book over and over again because that doesn't change and it reminds him that he knows how to feel happy.

Temari has been groomed from birth to be the next kazekage. She excels at everything she does. She wins. That's, more than who she is, what she is. Ruthless and intelligent and competitive and educated from the start.

She used to think she was the only one who really understood their father. She used to chase his approval in everything she did. And most of the time, she got it, because Temari is the one who wins.

Then, her father decided he could trust her by telling her about Gaara.

Now there's really only two people Temari trusts and neither of them are the kazekage.

Kankuro is low maintenance. That's how he likes to put it. Middle children stashed in black ops work don't get to need much. Puppeteers aren't the ones you look at on stage. And compared to the amount of care that goes into maintaining a good battle puppet, bodies don't need much at all.

He's just the guy that cleans up. Groceries. Housekeeping. The cuts and bruises Temari is too proud to admit are bugging her. All the evidence of Gaara's last panic attack and the bastard that caused it. (It's fine, you don't have to worry about them, if they hurt you they deserved it)

He never really wanted to be special. He's fine being overlooked. He does his best work there. And the people he cares about are just like his puppets- they take effort and polish and care to keep them looking their best, shining on stage where they belong. Kankuro loves his siblings and that's the only part that matters.

My good anon, unsubtle punchline: I'm baiting these exact sort of asks. You've fallen into my trap. Have some takes.

Sakura is a nobody.

She doesn't have any special heritage-based powers or even ninja parents. (they're civilians). She also hasn't been able to train very long; she spent a lot of her childhood off-and-on sick with what I'm currently imagining is an autoimmune disorder. Ino was kind of her only friend and it's relatively recently in her life that Sakura's been able to do things like grow her hair out or go to school.

Sakura is also one of the most intensely tenacious and driven people alive. Being healthy isn't enough. She wants to destroy her own weakness. She is intelligent she is stubborn and she is going to not be helpless anymore. That drive pushes her both academically and physically and especially once she meets Tsunade, that pushes her even further.

Sasuke is... haunted. Both in the figurative sense you would expect (trauma) but also the Uchiha clan has basically established that their specialty sharingan powers are empowered through ritual suffering, and that and Itachi's rather drastic actions to try and 'prevent' that goes... badly.

I will have to do further research on what canon does with the extended Keeping Up With The Uchihas but for simplicity's sake one thing I'm going to go with the angle of is that there were a few other survivors (I'm going to be pretty drastically reimagining the character of Danzo) and one of those characters is Kurenai.

In my take, I'm making Kurenai Sasuke's current legal guardian. She's a detached relative of the Uchiha clan, although not considered part of the main family or a major heir. There's a lot of politicking around the larger clans and the influence they command so Sasuke is under pressure in more ways than just feeling like he is morally obligated to hunt his brother down.

In terms of Sasuke and Sakura re: each other, I'm going on a couple of takes here:

Sasuke is a traumatized fourteen year old obsessed with power and his canonical extreme willingness to get hurt suggests he's not the most responsible for his own physical health in general

Sasuke is a prodigy and paired with the above that means he has a very slipshod relationship with trying things that don't come easy to him. Vulnerability, including the vulnerability required for learning, disgusts him.

All of this circles the fact that Sasuke is atrocious at talking to people even when he wants to.

Sakura is so incapable of doing anything halfway she is canonically able to force telepaths out of her brain by sheer force of rage.

End results:

Sasuke has the approximate constitution of a gothic horror protagonist. He is, in simple terms, a glass cannon. Out of Team 7 he is the most capable of devastating feats of arcane power and unleashing horrors. He also will faint if hit more than three times by an opponent and his willingness to offset his lack of vitality with stubbornness just makes that worse.

Sakura is predictably taken by the cool bad boy and vastly overvalues his approval in the exact way a lonely fourteen year old girl projects on her peers.

Sasuke is both fascinated by and terrified of Sakura once he starts realizing what she is actually like. So it's fair to say they are both keeping each other on some weird pedestals.

This is only going to escalate once Sasuke leaves Konoha and Sakura becomes Tsunade's protege. Tsunade, who, at least in this take, was the original inventor of the cursed seal, and while she now trusts Orochimaru as far as she can throw him, Tsunade kept doing her work.

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.