Citrus Dragon

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

i have a random issue with a handful of pre-srar fall out boy songs where I LOVE the the start of the song or just generally everything but the chorus, but the chorus itself i find kind of underwhelming (eg: ilalwtwiattgyo, ttotbo, igatrimeanomf, cfmrfrpfmsr, gblogbd(dyptstsasgts)

poor thing...walked straight into the electric fence

It would kill half the 19-25 year olds online to realize "I can't help it I have trauma" is one of THE quintessential abuser excuses

Like there is a difference between "My trauma creates impulsive urges and has changed my instinctive reactions to be irrational, I need to relearn shit." vs "I'm traumatized so I Can't Help It and you're not allowed to expect better of me"

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

i can't cope

Hungarian translator: I'm on it

please please please be aware that if you and your friends get addicted to saying YIPPEEE like fortnite und cola yippee it will have an intoxicating effect and you might accidentally say it in a really important business meeting to a bunch of men you don't know