oh yeet haw ?

charlie looked up at the sky nearly immediately, not wanting to get caught look at oliver. “dude... personal space...” he shoved oliver lightly while laughing his butt off. he shook his hand wildly, a little grossed out by how much sweat he had gotten on it. “ewww, you need to shower like right now! i’d like you use my skateboard to get home quicker, but someone stole it. you’ve been no help, by the way.”

“hey, don’t you run after that raccoon like that skateboard belongs to you!” charlie shouted, charging after jack and the raccoon thief. his hands and knees were a little scuffed from his attempt to get the board back, so the guy was in pain as he ran. if he had a soundtrack to his life, the scooby doo song when they’re chasing the villain or running from them would be playing right now. they rounded the corner and found themselves in a park. the raccoon somehow scurried up a tree, and the two dudes found themselves standing by the trunk. “well... climb, jerk.”

piper slumped against the wall near the front door, sliding down until she was comfortably rested against the store. “you know what? i don’t even think the landlord lives here. i’m just desperate and exponentially losing functioning brain cells the longer this goes on,” piper lamented, patting the spot next to her for vance to sit down to join her in her misery. “what do you think i should do? should i just give up on the flower shop?”

“babe, i don’t want to get my shower towel gross by touching the skateboard,” charlie retorted through gritted teeth. the audacity of this rando to assume that he had more than one towel to spare! it this economy! puh-lease! before he could launch into another rant, that damn raccoon stole it out of his hands. the love of his life -- just snatched like that. the noise that escaped charlie’s throat was inhuman. “you-- jimothy-wannabe! give me back my skateboard!” he launched himself toward the racoon, landing on his frontside as the raccoon scurried further away. demon.

piper was frustrated, having moved back in with her mother until she can get back her flower shop, being unemployed due to her own decisions, and frankly just existing. it’s been a few months since her return, and it was a bit of an understatement to say that she’s had it! she stomped up to the old store to argue with the landlord, only to find it closed! “you have to be kidding me. at least pick up your phone!” she yelled, slumping against the glass door.

beginning a tug of war in the middle of the street, charlie pulled it back toward him. “i didn’t leave it lying around like garbage! i left it to dry outside of my apartment because it got wet! do you know how moldy shit can get? finders keepers isn’t a thing, dude! back off!” a bystander had stopped to watch the pair argue, and charlie tilted his head to ask them for their opinion. “i’m right, and mr. forehead here is wrong, right?!”

charlie tilted his head at oliver with playful disdain on his face. “first of all, i said i was shaming you personally so that negates any form of generic slut shaming. second of all, i don’t know what abs you’re talking about. not that there’s anything wrong with not having abs, i just don’t think we should lie to each other, y’know?”

charlie scrutinized the blond bastard in front of him before he scoffed. “now that i’m getting a better look, i’ve changed my mind. your forehead is too big.” he reached out and tried to snatch the skateboard out of the guy’s hands. “welcome to the apartment, we don’t fuckin’ steal things in front of people’s places. this is my baby, don’t touch my baby.”

“cd? oliver... it’s 2020, you either have everything on spotify or you’re a freakin’ hippie and only own vinyls. keep up, bro,” charlie retorted, a little offended that he was being taken seriously. he turned his head to the side so he didn’t get caught staring. “someone stole my skateboard, so now i have to walk everywhere like a loser. but unlike some people... i’ll keep my shirt on. i don’t need to show all i got like that -- oh, did that sound slut shamey? i’m just trying to shame you personally. need a jacket, sweaty?”

“yeah, you can help me!” charlie retorted, pushing his sleeves up like a bully from the 70′s about to get into a fight. he pointed to his skateboard defiantly. “you stole my freakin’ skateboard, pretty boy! give it back! what kind of person steals, huh? maybe steal from the mayor, but i’m broke. you’re taking all i got!”

charlie hung his head over the back of the bench and let out a loud sigh. “i was robbed, dorothy. something super important to me was taken and now my heart is broken!” he glanced over at oliver in hopes of finding any kind of supporting expression on his face. it took him a second to realize that oliver was shirtless, resulting in a scarlet red blooming on his face. “cover up, bro! have you no shame?”

he was so annoyed that he couldn’t even admire the skateboard of the guy who zoomed past him. it wasn’t until charlie got a closer look at it that made him pop out of his place on the bench. “hey! hey you! hey jackass with the petty blond hair! get back here!” he yelled, beginning to run after him.

charlie sat down angrily at the bench in the park, his arms crossed in a huff. somebody in his apartment complex stole his skateboard during the night, and he was peeved. to be fair, he shouldn’t have left it outside his door -- but what happened to the honor code?! “ugh, this whole day sucks!” he cried out to himself, never shying away from the drama.

“you’re a culinary star in my eyes, and i personally think that’s enough to label you as a culinary star,” augustus interjected with a quiet chuckle. it fade with dom’s remark about augustus’ disappearance, so he pursed his lips to hide the brief moment of silence. “i left the cape to move back to boston for a little. i got a job offer down there, but i suppose... something just didn’t feel right there. guess my move didn’t make waves!”

“i feel as though we find ourselves in a situation where one, if not both, of us is hurt,” augustus joked while he rubbed the sore spot on his head. “i’ve never been keen on the horoscope thing, but i’ve heard a lot of people saying during an inconvenience so i agree. we can blame it on mercury and gatorade or-- yeah.” he steadied himself as he pushed himself up and offered cara a hand.

“oh please, you make it sound like i purposefully go out of my way to spend an outrageous amount of money on food just for the ego boost. from my experience, there’s a reason that the price tag is so high,” amelia defended as she pulled the wine opener from the counter to pop open the bottle. a hint of a smile played on her lips as she poured the red wine into their respective glasses. “are you asking for a full food critique? i can give you that.”