Kris with a K @krissy-kat - Tumblr Blog

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I had not expected children learning breathing techniques for panic attacks when I decided watch the latest episode of the owl house but after the trauma in last few episodes they sorely needed it.

#the owl house #toh #eda clawthorne #gus porter #agustus porter #willow park #amity blight #hunter wittebane #toh hunter #toh gus #toh willow #toh amity

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lesbianshepard

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

lesbianshepard

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725

key--lime--pie

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

notaflippinmermaid

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

midnightmindcave

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

dinosauriaawesome

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

thesaltofcarthage

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic.

wholesome-dragon-lady

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

spicyraeman

“hes a woman to me” IS HE? or are you equating women with submissive character traits you've arbitrarily put on a random man

aoelustious

“he’s a woman to me” “ummm isn’t that kind of misogynistic? are you equating womanhood with submission—”

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK sorry i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me putting a fictional man in a slutty apron and calling him mommy. sorry. i was too busy hand-feeding him strawberries and then writing 12k of emotional devastation and domestic porn. sorry i gendered him like a little fucked up doll in a victorian nursery.

YES. HE’S A WOMAN TO ME. HE’S A HOUSEWIFE. HE’S A HIGH-FEM BRAT. HE’S A PRETTY LITTLE THING WHO GETS RAWED IN THE MOONLIGHT AND MAKES SOFT WHIMPERS AND BAKES BREAD TO COPE. AND I DO NOT CARE IF IT MAKES SENSE.

HE IS MADE OF TROPES. HE IS MADE OF VIBES. HE IS MADE OF GLITTER AND TEARS AND POST-WAR PTSD. HE IS WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. HE IS NOT A MAN. HE IS NOT A WOMAN. HE IS A TRAGEDY IN LACE.

you’re talking about “misogyny” like i didn’t just write a fic where he gets folded in half by a feral beast of a love interest and then cries because he’s “too used to not being touched gently.” BABE. THERE IS NO DIGNITY HERE. ONLY CATHARSIS.

your academic thinkpiece cannot survive the heat of my horny little monkey brain. you want to talk about gender roles?? I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A COLLAR. I WANT TO GIVE HIM A GENDERCRISIS VIA DICK. I WANT TO MAKE HIM THE MAID AND THE MUSE AND THE MADONNA.

and also? sometimes i call him a manwhore for getting railed twice in one chapter and still being emotionally unavailable. because HE DESERVES IT. because I SAID SO. because it’s FUNNY and UNHINGED and that’s the POINT.

you are not fixing the world. i am not breaking it. we are both feral rats arguing over a Barbie doll in a trench coat. take your discourse and go. i’ve got work to do. i’m about to make him lactate out of spite.

ex-riddlecats

this is already an absolutely tone-deaf and borderline transmisogynistic response but i think it gets even more jawdropping when your blog makes it really obvious youre talking about alexander hamilton

milf-adjacent

It has come to my attention that some of you have not actually seen the music video for Ghengis Khan by Miike Snow so I’ve taken it on myself to end your ignorance of this piece of cinema

milf-adjacent

The greatest cinematic experience of 2016, weren’t you watching?

colemckenzies

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

ggiornojo

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

colemckenzies

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

animatedamerican

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

nentuaby

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

animatedamerican

… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

thepioden

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

derinthescarletpescatarian

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

rooksandravens

Is it a glitch or a feature?

cranberrybogmummy

Feature

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chazchaschad

I do not have a "side blog”, I do not “schedule posts”. I torture my followers with random bullshit and if that doesn’t work I KILL MYSELF

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives

unbossed-deactivated20251218

eastbayfatman

Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker

lowtiermemer

All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife

penguitron-deactivated20211130

But he’s got shooters all over the world 🌎 even when he’s away

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

just shot a load in his wife

hitting-on-cullen-deactivated20

You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and you’re here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, we’re not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you he’s a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son

thetyrannosaur

heardbook

The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

your girl boutta be the feast soon as you get deployed boot boy

berylb33

World Heritage Post

cpineau1973

Who ever was the first person to post this is the biggest piece of shit in the world. You’re an amoral ASSHOLE!!!!!

cpineau1973

Hotmeat89 you are a disgrace you don’t deserve to be called an American! You don’t even have the right to call yourself a MAN!

greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou

I don’t call myself a man but your wife still calls me to fuck

testosteronetwink

happy veterans day

bo0zey

i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

bo0zey

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

bo0zey

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

seraphtrevs

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

edhelwen1

Animated Goncharov.

marlynnofmany

Definitely that one.

ifitistobeitisuptous

unless, hear me out...

Muppet Goncharov

marlynnofmany

sufficientlylargen

Look at these idiots who haven't seen Gonzorov (1993).

unquartdetour

Reblogging entirely for Gonzorov.

gnetophyte

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

CALLOUT POST FOR FUCKING EURIPIDES

deadpanwalking

notallmensheviks

did classical athens do something problematic

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melancholygirls

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

stillalittlekid

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

omegaverse-anesthesiologist

why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????

omegaverse-anesthesiologist

It’s not even the public hospital wifi. I’m on the staff wifi. which one of you anesthesiologists was reading omega verse on the clock.

omegaverse-anesthesiologist

Thankfully, I am saved by the power of having a total of 7 followers on this blog.

omegaverse-anesthesiologist

The power of having a total of 7 followers on this blog has failed me.

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

fellshish

i’m so glad goncharov happened pre ai slop era

romanitas

#weird way to describe 1973 but i guess it’s accurate

norvicensiandoran

mckitterick

the Ides of March grows near

adhdoofenshmirtz

lytefoot

Tumblr users these days, putting up the Ides of March decorations earlier every year.

commiegoth

I just found out VLC media player lets you do this????

gauntletqueen

It works in motion too!! Took me half an hour asdgfsadfghas

infininoodle

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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