no gender, only squid

i hope that someday there will be no more advertisements ever again

i thought maybe it was shitpost but no

He's turning The People's House into Six Flags Over Washington

I guarantee that this is being built in a rush by non-union labor, so we have a real opportunity for a Final Destination scenario here.

like to charge reblog to cast

I know some fic writers get stressed about writing tropes they think are too popular or overdone, and I need you all to know that I just spent 4 hours reading every iteration of the same exact fic plot I could find, and they all brought me an indescribable amount of joy. Listen. Listen. Sometimes you want cakes of many flavours and sometimes you want Nine Carrot Cakes

Not only do you sometimes want nine carrot cakes, but sometimes your friend’s girlfriend makes a carrot cake and says “I read the instructions wrong, I only used half the amount of nuts the recipe said… My cake is terrible and messed up…” But you try her carrot cake and it’s the best carrot cake of your god damn life. You’ve always thought that nut-less carrot cakes suck, but most carrot cakes with nuts have too many nuts. But this carrot cake? It’s perfect. It’s perfect and she thinks it’s a failure. You have to tell her that the carrot cake is amazing, okay? That it’s the best carrot cake ever and you want more of this carrot cake exactly how she made it.

just because a concept happened once in a large piece of media doesn’t mean that piece of media owns that concept

homestuck owns every concept ever

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

my names sweetie 3000 because the last 2999 sweeties were all destroyed

that poll going around of the guy who thought "people only eat tofu as a bit because they're deranged vegans" or whatever really crystalizes something that i have never been able to precisely say - which is "a nonzero fraction of people who start picky-eater discourse just happen to precisely hate those foods which are not from north america and refuse to introspect on this whatsoever"

In contrast some people say "there aren't any picky eaters in Asia 🙄" but this is laughably untrue. I have a cousin in India who refused until his 20s to eat anything in a sauce. as you can imagine in India this was difficult. he basically had to pick things out of curry and wipe them dry

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon