[laughs historically]

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift

a relationship should be fifty-fifty. She lays me gently in the cold dark earth and I crawl home to her.

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense