[laughs historically]

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

please i need him to die on 4th of july gaudy as fuck 'america 250' celebration that would be the funniest thing ever i wouldn't even bitch about the fireworks. i wouldn't even do that.

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift

a relationship should be fifty-fifty. She lays me gently in the cold dark earth and I crawl home to her.

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand