Omnes Gentes Plaudite

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

Shoutout to Project Hail Mary for being the only media where the unconscious protagonist is dragged off screen by an alien spider monster and the audience's reaction is heartbreak on behalf of the alien spider monster.

the king has abruptly fired 60% of his wizard staff, so he’s about to be abruptly surprised at who floated 100% of his formerly floating sky castle

I heard they're planning to maintain their levitation rites with autonomous constructs from now on, saying wizards are going to be totally obsolete within the season... so, ah, I'd invest in falling island insurance.

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

A actual fucking hero dude

I’m tempted to say, “Not all heroes wear capes,” but I get the impression this Fine Fellow probably owns more than one.

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

Woman murders man in broad daylight

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beautiful like to reblog ratio on this

That's because people are reblogging it every time they see it. Like I'm doing right now lmao

You misunderstand. I said it's much better than most people tend to give it credit for; I didn't say it's good.

official linguistics post

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of