WeirdOtter

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

Scary Shane Hollander in between shifts on the Centaurs bench just staring into space thumping thumping thumping his stick on the ground to the beat of whatever industrial EDM track is going in his head because the team isn't playing well they aren't doing their job thump thump thump he can't be on every fucking shift he can't do it all for them thump thump thump "shane open your mouth and drink some fucking water" open mouth Ilya squirts water in swallow thump thump thump Haas misses another pass because Dillon ain't getting any better and should be sent down to Belleville to cook and pull up their winger who's showing some promise thump thump thump hockey is a team sport they gotta lock in they gotta put pucks in nets thump thump thump Shane has three cups and he wants four they need four the most important thing is getting another cup but at this rate they won't even make playoffs thump thump thump why is the centaur mascot a beaver thump thump thump

(via @fractally) #Shane is pouring brake fluid in Dillion’s water bottle#he’s filling his sticks with water#he’s not. but he is getting him sent down#Dillon vanishes after game two of pre season and is never seen again#it’s something of a legend on the cens subreddit because there’s an infamous clip of Shane’s face after Dillon misses a pass#and he’s never seen again#it’s a meme that Shane took him out back and shot him#anyway when they get home Shane has to suck Ilya’s dick twice before he’s out of this headspace

Happy Moon Landing Eve! Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, and don’t let Michael Collins convince you to prank NASA!

If Tumblr is still here next July 19th, I fully expect this post to obliterate my activity feed.

She started to transition after 5000 years. It's never too late.

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

anyway today I am thinking about ilya [guy who ghosted his hookup for six months after telling him they were nothing] absolutely BOOKING IT to that bathroom after shane. bursting in there all out of breath and then realizing that might make him look like he gaf so he has to do a totally casual and indifferent lean against uh… the paper towel dispenser. to imply that he just wandered in here by chance and is feeling very cool calm and collected. soooo lol. come here often

the real fantasy of heated rivalry isn’t that the hot cocky sex god will fall in love with the uptight socially awkward virgin… the real fantasy is that you can be sooooooo fucking annoying & avoidant & allergic to intimacy and someone who is securely attached will nevertheless doggedly pursue you, make you feel your feelings, and then marry you

the only piece of book canon I’ll accept is that ilya wore the hawaiian shirt as a bit and then got there and wanted to die of embarrassment because omfggggg why was he wearing a stupid fucking hawaiian shirt in front of his ex

When you’re just trying to be SILLY because deep down you are SAD and trying to be your old self full of WHIMSY but then your EX walks in looking HOT as FUCK and stylish as SHIT and now he wants to TALK to you and is maybe FLIRTING and you gotta LOCK IN to see if he’s newly single so you can FUCK later but he is BAD at SOCIAL CUES so you are trying SO HARD to be so COOL and CASUAL in your STUPID FUCKING HAWAIIAN SHIRT you bought at fucking WALMART that you wore as a BIT but he doesn’t KNOW that so you just look STUPID while he is sitting there being HOT and OK yes he IS single and now you gotta LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN and be super COOL and SEXY and NOT DESPERATE while calling him CAPTAIN and wearing your FUCKASS HAWAIIAN SHIRT

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships