2018 - 2024 (38yo)
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@mercurialmorals
2018 - 2024 (38yo)

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Anyway some things to follow when youre a beginner cook:
Don’t constantly shift your food around in the pan if you want to form a crust on it, the less you move it the better.
Don’t be afraid to add water if youre frying up food and the food/sauce looks a bit dry.
Don’t fry up your garlic early on in the cooking process (unless youre making a quick garlic oil) as the garlic flavour can straight up disappear if overcooked for too long and/or the garlic can become bitter if burnt
Don’t overcook your vegetables. Look up recommended cook times for them. Your distaste for vegetables stems from them being overcooked and being poorly seasoned.
Don’t microwave stuff for more than 2 minutes at a time unless you know what you’re doing. Reheating stuff tends to fare better when you mix food between microwaving times since microwaves develop hotspots if you microwave it uninterrupted for too long.
Don’t try cooking everything at the hottest setting. It’s super tempting to have a high flame and do a meal quickly but actually follow directions and cook at medium or low heat.
These are such good tips!! It’s crazy how many adults don’t know some of these- once you learn them you’ll wonder how you ever lived without them
I’m currently in culinary school so I hope you don’t mind if I add a couple tips myself:
Salt and pepper are your bffs, salt especially. Even a little bit of salt can have such an impact on a dish and it helps bring out and amplify all the other flavors in a dish
When you’re cooking green veggies, never EVER cover them. You may have grown up hating broccoli, green beans and brussel sprouts that were limp and that horrid shade of olive puke green. It’s because if you cook or steam green veggies in a covered pot the enzymes and parts of the plant that make it green will break down and turn that nasty shade
Speaking of cooking vegetables, I’m begging you to please please look up and try roasting veggies if you’ve never done it before!! It’s so so easy, it works beautifully with practically any vegetable you can imagine and you can season them however you wish!
My last tip is if you’re going to invest in any sort of kitchenware, have it be a good sharp knife and good quality pots/pans. And if you do end up getting these items, make sure you take good care of them! Most metal kitchenware will last longer if you hand wash them, as opposed to always running them through the dishwasher which will rust them so much faster. So make sure to look up proper care if you’re unsure
And most importantly, don’t be afraid to make mistakes or mess up!!! Even in a professional kitchen accidents happen or things don’t go as planned! Cooking is both a science and an art, and it’s just waiting for you to come be creative and experiment!!!
Have some peer review tags bc they know what they’re talking about.
dont be afraid of cast iron! just rinse and scrub it while its still hot, then dry it off. seasoned cast iron (and theyre usually sold preseasoned) is nonstick and incredibly easy to clean - thats like half the appeal
ppl act like buying cast iron is like having a child, but literally just keep it dry when not in use and dont use soap on it and itll be fine. its not like its fragile and delicate and must be treated with a gentle touch its fuckin solid iron lmao
If you, like me, are especially sensitive to the bitter compounds in cruciferous veggies (e.g. broccoli, brussel sprouts, etc. - the cabbage family) then I encourage you to try starting from flash-frozen produce. The freezing process does half the work for you in the elimination of those compounds, and the cooking (preferably blanching - boiling and then rapidly cooling back down just when it turns BRIGHT green) process will get rid of the rest, leaving you with surprisingly sweet “bitter” veggies!
Roasting also works beautifully, as mentioned above, but that’s better for starting from fresh.
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Learn your herbs and spices. The exact same protein, carb, and veg can be put together an amazing arrange of ways if you just learn the different flavor combinations characteristic of different cultures, and/or figure out your own favorites.
And yes, as pointed out above, salt is ALWAYS on the list (unless you can’t for medical reasons).
I don’t cook anywhere often enough to use these tips but I also recently stumbled upon this tips on balancing flavors from Le Cordon Blue. Adding it here mostly for my own references.
Balancing flavour is both a science and an art, based on professional training, intuition and experience. Here’s an introduction to balancin
Also it’s not mentioned here but the mouthfeel of “richness” (e.g cream/fat/white sauce) supposedly “dull” other tastes so if you want to make something less spicy/salty apparently you can thicken it using dairy.
MY STUPID FUCKING CAT WONT STOP TRYING TO TOUCH THE BEEHIVE

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the silmarillion bride
astronomy club sent up a weather balloon w a gopro in it last friday. put in three packs of fruit snacks so they could have a giggle over eating fruit snacks that had been to space.
balloon went up into inner space, about 90,000 feet. came down right near the dinosaur park. a few physics teachers drive out to get it, crack it open on the way home to start watching the footage.
fruit snacks are missing.
multiple sources confirm that fruit snacks were put in balloon and sealed in with duct tape. physics teachers check entire balloon. no fruit snacks.
physics teachers watch footage. all 7 hours of it. right in the middle of footage, there are about 8 minutes of visual and audio static when balloon is in orbit. no other interference with balloon recorded.
conclusions: ???????
aliens stole yo fruit snacks
I’ve been a UFO enthusiast for 2/3rds of my life and this is the most convincing alien encounters story I have ever heard.
Happy just-over-ten-years to this post. Early in its life, it was viewed by a seventeen-year-old aspiring astronomer who DESPISED it, thought it was the dumbest Space Post ever, got mad every time it crossed her dash. But this wasn’t anybody I knew, and she did the mature thing and didn’t send any hate mail about it, and went off and got her whole entire astrophysics degree without me ever finding out. So how do I know about this person’s deep dislike for this post? BECAUSE. I have, at press time, been sleeping next to her for three and a half years
These posts contain 119 horses (56.9% of the post)
♞ @dicaeopolis
astronomy club sent up a weather balloon w a gopro in it last friday. put in three packs of fruit snacks so they could have a giggle over eating fruit snacks that had been to space.
balloon went up into inner space, about 90,000 feet. came down right near the dinosaur park. a few physics teachers drive out to get it, crack it open on the way home to start watching the footage.
fruit snacks are missing.
multiple sources confirm that fruit snacks were put in balloon and sealed in with duct tape. physics teachers check entire balloon. no fruit snacks.
physics teachers watch footage. all 7 hours of it. right in the middle of footage, there are about 8 minutes of visual and audio static when balloon is in orbit. no other interference with balloon recorded.
conclusions: ???????
♞ @spaceyalien
aliens stole yo fruit snacks
🐴 @daisenseiben
I’ve been a UFO enthusiast for 2/3rds of my life and this is the most convincing alien encounters story I have ever heard.
🍎 @should-be-sleeping
[Image]
♞ @dicaeopolis
Happy just-over-ten-years to this post. Early in its life, it was viewed by a seventeen-year-old aspiring astronomer who DESPISED it, thought it was the dumbest Space Post ever, got mad every time it crossed her dash. But this wasn’t anybody I knew, and she did the mature thing and didn’t send any hate mail about it, and went off and got her whole entire astrophysics degree without me ever finding out. So how do I know about this person’s deep dislike for this post? BECAUSE. I have, at press time, been sleeping next to her for three and a half years
Posts are selected by humans, processed automatically and queued to post. Click the link for more information about each horse. You can send a link or text to be counted to my ask box.
Grace must get very cool about many things very quickly statement
my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.”
so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree.
she’s so pleased with her self
incredible
parents are weird
yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.
you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.
but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support
well gosh. look what happens.
please tell your mom good job.
also love how the original metaphor of “nailing jello to a tree” is about trying to force your bizarre and arbitrary will on something that is categorically disinclined to do such a thing, for no conceivable reason.
i know adrian is widely headcanoned as green. but they could really be any color

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falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy
falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs
unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british
had to look this up bc I thought it was a joke
if he had been there it wouldn't have gone down like that
Yeah we're extracting energy from Literal Hell. Been a big part of powering our industrial infrastructure lately.
...
Oh, no, we're not using the souls or anything, we're just putting a boiler on the portal and hooking it up to a turbine.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Yeah we're extracting energy from Literal Hell. Been a big part of powering our industrial infrastructure lately.
...
Oh, no, we're not using the souls or anything, we're just putting a boiler on the portal and hooking it up to a turbine.
the wisdom ive learnt is that becoming part of a friend group 1) takes a long time and 2) involves a lot of feeling awkward and left out at first. there’s nothing terrible about this but if you grew up chronically lonely or have any kind of trauma relating to social isolation this likely feels Really Wrong and activates danger signals. but both fortunately and unfortunately it’s just how becoming close to new people works most of the time
another thing that was not intuitive to me as someone who grew up an autistic loner: basically everyone on the planet is starved for connection all the time and almost everything people do is an attempt to reach out to another. most seemingly illogical interactions and behaviours can be explained by this. you have to take as many of these invitations as you can. even if you're wrong you still attempted to bring more warmth into the world