A Human!

Granted, Daniel’s a bit of an odd case since he got run out of academic archaeology first instead of coming up via the CRM track, but still.

(tags via specialagentartemis)

The really excellent thing is that even after he does [what everyone thinks is] his job publicly where they can see, they’re still gonna think he’s been phoning it in this whole time because it’s so obvious from the way he goes about it that it’s not what he regularly does.

“What do you think he normally does with his time?” Says the person who just got their first ever in ten years email from Dr. Jackson. It’s awkwardly phrased and missing about half the necessary information.

“While on the clock? Probably pitching to the history channel or something,” says their coworker. “2 Ancient 2 Aliens.”

“I don’t know if that’s better or worse than him writing—“ she pauses to do air quotes. “—‘Pyramids of the Gods’ on the taxpayer dime. This whole project is gonna be torture.”

I see these points, and now I’m going to list out all the ways I can think of that it was a bad political decision too:

1. Alienated his long-standing allies (was there anyone who trained with Alanna when they were all kids that wasn’t pissed about this choice?).

2. Undermined the other progressive policies; he made the decree that girls could openly try for their shields ten years before First Test begins, the training master at the time agreed to it, and Wyldon accepted the decision when he took the job. Stepping backward as soon as it’s put to the test invites other such decrees and programs to be attacked as well.

3. Insulted the Mindelans, who are valuable diplomats, quite badly.

4. Potentially undermined Alanna in her job as King’s Champion; yes, she acknowledges that people often credit her success to her Gift and being god-touched, but she did go through the same official training as all her peers. To make the next woman knight leap more official hurdles is to throw Alanna’s qualifications into question.

5. Nearly lost them Keladry as a knight. She almost makes the decision to wait a few years and apply to the Queen’s Riders instead, because a probationary year for only her was blatantly unfair.

6. Potentially lost them other knights as well. We don’t hear of any other girls starting page training during the rest of Protector of the Small, which spans over eight years. How many other girls, or their parents, looked at that probationary year, and refused to let themselves be so insulted? How many wondered, if the year was lifted for future applicants, if some other humiliation would be sprung on them instead?

Jonathan could have mitigated some of these problems by having Wyldon place all incoming pages under a probationary year, by officially declaring that this was simply yet another change to the training program they were making. Even if rumor went that this change was because of Kel, without it being officially so, it would be less insulting to her & her politically important family, leave less room for open attacks on the other progressive policies, and not raise the stakes so high for future girl applicants.

I see these points, and now I’m going to list out all the ways I can think of that it was a bad political decision too:

1. Alienated his long-standing allies (was there anyone who trained with Alanna when they were all kids that wasn’t pissed about this choice?).

2. Undermined the other progressive policies; he made the decree that girls could openly try for their shields ten years before First Test begins, the training master at the time agreed to it, and Wyldon accepted the decision when he took the job. Stepping backward as soon as it’s put to the test invites other such decrees and programs to be attacked as well.

3. Insulted the Mindelans, who are valuable diplomats, quite badly.

4. Potentially undermined Alanna in her job as King’s Champion; yes, she acknowledges that people often credit her success to her Gift and being god-touched, but she did go through the same official training as all her peers. To make the next woman knight leap more official hurdles is to throw Alanna’s qualifications into question.

5. Nearly lost them Keladry as a knight. She almost makes the decision to wait a few years and apply to the Queen’s Riders instead, because a probationary year for only her was blatantly unfair.

6. Potentially lost them other knights as well. We don’t hear of any other girls starting page training during the rest of Protector of the Small, which spans over eight years. How many other girls, or their parents, looked at that probationary year, and refused to let themselves be so insulted? How many wondered, if the year was lifted for future applicants, if some other humiliation would be sprung on them instead?

Jonathan could have mitigated some of these problems by having Wyldon place all incoming pages under a probationary year, by officially declaring that this was simply yet another change to the training program they were making. Even if rumor went that this change was because of Kel, without it being officially so, it would be less insulting to her & her politically important family, leave less room for open attacks on the other progressive policies, and not raise the stakes so high for future girl applicants.

I see these points, and now I’m going to list out all the ways I can think of that it was a bad political decision too:

1. Alienated his long-standing allies (was there anyone who trained with Alanna when they were all kids that wasn’t pissed about this choice?).

2. Undermined the other progressive policies; he made the decree that girls could openly try for their shields ten years before First Test begins, the training master at the time agreed to it, and Wyldon accepted the decision when he took the job. Stepping backward as soon as it’s put to the test invites other such decrees and programs to be attacked as well.

3. Insulted the Mindelans, who are valuable diplomats, quite badly.

4. Potentially undermined Alanna in her job as King’s Champion; yes, she acknowledges that people often credit her success to her Gift and being god-touched, but she did go through the same official training as all her peers. To make the next woman knight leap more official hurdles is to throw Alanna’s qualifications into question.

5. Nearly lost them Keladry as a knight. She almost makes the decision to wait a few years and apply to the Queen’s Riders instead, because a probationary year for only her was blatantly unfair.

6. Potentially lost them other knights as well. We don’t hear of any other girls starting page training during the rest of Protector of the Small, which spans over eight years. How many other girls, or their parents, looked at that probationary year, and refused to let themselves be so insulted? How many wondered, if the year was lifted for future applicants, if some other humiliation would be sprung on them instead?

Jonathan could have mitigated some of these problems by having Wyldon place all incoming pages under a probationary year, by officially declaring that this was simply yet another change to the training program they were making. Even if rumor went that this change was because of Kel, without it being officially so, it would be less insulting to her & her politically important family, leave less room for open attacks on the other progressive policies, and not raise the stakes so high for future girl applicants.

Where I think he fails is in the same way his father failed and in the same way we see people fail in our world: he thought compromising would get the conservatives on his side, and it just straight up didn’t. Wyldon changes his mind, sure, but do we see any of the other conservatives actually change their opinions about either lady knights specifically or Jon’s political program more generally? Kel doesn’t play politics so it’s hard to say for sure, but the impression I got was very much that her probation and subsequent success don’t actually change anyone’s mind, and that Jon allowing her to be put on probation doesn’t actually give him good will from the conservatives to accomplish other goals instead. The conservatives are just mad that she’s there at all - putting her on probation doesn’t change that, it just upsets his allies and teaches his opponents that he can be bullied.

Which reminds me of how Roald governs, the few times we see evidence of that. He tries to compromise with his enemies and just makes everyone mad. During the war with Tusaine, his orders that the Tortallan forces not cross the river don’t make Tusaine more willing to come to the table and make a peace treaty, they just piss off all the Tortallan soldiers and leave them vulnerable to Roger’s plotting. Even without Roger, it would have been an obvious gambit for the Tusainis to capture some high ranking nobles and hold them for ransom, knowing that the Tortallans have orders not to pursue them across the river and so have to come to the table on Tusaini terms.

I think Jon is someone who sees in himself the risk of tyranny and overcorrects against it. He knows that he has a penchant for just taking what he wants and forcing others to go along with it because he’s king and his friends are powerful and personally loyal to him. He absolutely could be a despot monarch - we sort of see him in that role when he’s a page, throwing his weight around and expecting all the others boys to fall in line. I think he really does not want to be that kind of a king, and in correcting against that, reaches for his father’s example instead. And Roald - who was in turn overcorrecting in reaction to his father’s decisions - was someone who reached for compromise and pacification at all times, including when it didn’t serve him or his country to do so.

I see these points, and now I’m going to list out all the ways I can think of that it was a bad political decision too:

1. Alienated his long-standing allies (was there anyone who trained with Alanna when they were all kids that wasn’t pissed about this choice?).

2. Undermined the other progressive policies; he made the decree that girls could openly try for their shields ten years before First Test begins, the training master at the time agreed to it, and Wyldon accepted the decision when he took the job. Stepping backward as soon as it’s put to the test invites other such decrees and programs to be attacked as well.

3. Insulted the Mindelans, who are valuable diplomats, quite badly.

4. Potentially undermined Alanna in her job as King’s Champion; yes, she acknowledges that people often credit her success to her Gift and being god-touched, but she did go through the same official training as all her peers. To make the next woman knight leap more official hurdles is to throw Alanna’s qualifications into question.

5. Nearly lost them Keladry as a knight. She almost makes the decision to wait a few years and apply to the Queen’s Riders instead, because a probationary year for only her was blatantly unfair.

6. Potentially lost them other knights as well. We don’t hear of any other girls starting page training during the rest of Protector of the Small, which spans over eight years. How many other girls, or their parents, looked at that probationary year, and refused to let themselves be so insulted? How many wondered, if the year was lifted for future applicants, if some other humiliation would be sprung on them instead?

Jonathan could have mitigated some of these problems by having Wyldon place all incoming pages under a probationary year, by officially declaring that this was simply yet another change to the training program they were making. Even if rumor went that this change was because of Kel, without it being officially so, it would be less insulting to her & her politically important family, leave less room for open attacks on the other progressive policies, and not raise the stakes so high for future girl applicants.

This decision also highlights one of the main themes of the series—systemic vs. individual bigotry and how individuals can uphold or work against the status quo.

Wyldon takes Jonathan’s compromise as permission to continue his bigotry. In turn, Joren and the other pages take Wyldon’s treatment of Kel as endorsement of their own bullying.

Wyldon barely allows Kel to stay, despite her exemplary performance, and openly treats her poorly— pages take their cues from him. Many are openly misogynistic and sexually harass Kel. Vinson takes it to the point of committing serial rape and assault of other women in the castle and city. Joren holds onto his own bigotry so tightly that he can’t survive his Ordeal. They make their own choices, but they were certainly influenced by Wyldon.

In addition to reinforcing misogyny, Wyldon mistreats other pages who don’t fit his ideals of knighthood—Neal in particular. Once again, Joren and his crew respond to this, bullying young pages as they please. Had Kel not stepped in and rallied her friends against it, how many other young pages would have been bullied out of knighthood or turned into bullies themselves?

There’s a great moment at Joren’s trial, where Joren basically says he was dojng Wyldon a favor in trying to get rid of Kel. Wyldon objects—he didn’t want that. But it’s too late. It doesn’t matter what he says. His mistreatment of Kel set the tone, and Joren and many other pages followed.

The same holds true for King Jonathan. His treatment of Kel—and his own daughter, for that matter—sets the tone for how women are treated in general. He is in the wrong.

And Pierce doesn’t really give Jon and Wyldon of them a chance at redemption, or any credit for Kel’s success.

Wyldon retires in shame. He is—quite explicitly—a failure at his post. Though he learns and grows, his failure remains.

Jon doesn’t win Kel’s sincere loyalty, which Raoul rightly points out as a major loss. In fact, when choosing between allegiance between King Jonathan and Kel, Alanna, Raoul, the King’s Own, almost an entire generation of knights, Wyldon’s squire, and Jon’s own son all choose Kel, some to the point of treason.

For one thing, this makes Alanna insanely powerful. In In the Hand of The Goddess, she breaks open Roger’s magically locked door (presumably designed by Roger himself– an immensely strong and well-trained sorcerer) by shoving her own magic into it until it MELTS. This builds an Alanna who decided magical theory was useless at age 12 because she has an immense access to magical potential energy, and who never learns the basic life-preserving models of magic usage that are taught in intro-level classes. She doesn’t have an interest in learning more sophisticated forms of magic, except in healing, which she cared about enough to learn non-magically. So when she heals, she uses magic as a guide or a supplement, rather than depending on it and then draining herself.  Since she isn’t attempting complex magic, most of the time the limitations of drawing directly from her own life force doesn’t impact her that much. The things she does magically all have much more efficient alternatives, but they require an understanding of magical theory and ability to store energy that Alanna never learned! If she wants to do larger spells, she just keeps feeding energy into it until it breaks or she does. 

This post would not be possible without my long friendship with, and the research, expertise, and teaching of, Afroakuma. Hats off to you, ya weird hate demon.

There’s a lot of takes, theories, and interpretations of the various gods in D&D, especially for older and more popular settings like Greyhawk and the Forgotten Realms. Go casting about and you’ll pick them up, framing the gods as abusers, runners of a spiritual protection racket, as absent. Some players (and authors for that matter) prefer gods to be distant, untouchable, unimpeachable, and feel that to depict them otherwise cheapens their divinity. Others prefer their gods as beings that can be dragged screaming from their thrones and held to a final account for how they treat their worshipers, one way or the other.

I’m not here to talk about that part, but it’s important context. What I don’t see a lot of when it comes to these interpretations is a nuanced understanding of what gods were written as in the first place in the context of D&D, but especially in the context of the Planescape (meta)setting that provides common context for so many of the classic worlds we know and love or hate.

To make it clear, I am not here to defend or expand on how religion is set up; Gygax’s understanding of polytheism was flawed at best, and Forgotten Realms (written by Ed Greenwood and later many others) would take all of the bad parts of that understanding and make them so much worse. If you wanna have that conversation we can have it, but we’re not having it right now. Instead this is about the nature of divinity as it exists in Planescape and how that nature helps inform and characterize the gods.

If that has your eye, join me below in the magical land of Full And Complete Context.

(Pictured: Anastasia Luxan, Knight of the Tainted Cup, one of only two people in her friend group that are not evil-aligned. Her wife Aisling is not the other good-aligned person. Characters are from my novel Mourners: Scum of Shatterdown; art credit goes to J.D)

Paladins are one of Dungeons and Dragons’ most striking, and most controversial, character classes. Few character classes and character concepts capture the imagination as quickly or start arguments of such ferocity. I’ve been in this game awhile - I remember when D&D 3e was released - and paladins have been one of my most loved and most hated parts of D&D and its legacy systems that entire time. So here I am again, about to write a long-ass article offerin’ my perspective on paladins through the ages (hopefully highlighting the strongest parts of each vision of them), talk about their pitfalls and problematic elements, and offer some advice on bringing your own paladin to life.

While this article draws on my long experience with D&D and will be citing specific sources, it would not be possible without the help of some other people in my life. I mention Afroakuma a lot in the context of D&D, and our friendship has once again been invaluable here. @a-world-unmasked , also one of my oldest friends, has long been a source of ethical discussion and debate, especially about thorny questions of justice & mercy, amends, redemption, and punishment, and provided information on D&D 4e’s paladins and paladin-like classes. SSG Jacob Karpel, United States Army, brought a Jewish perspective on paladins and their themes into my life and has borne questions of faith, dogma, and tradition with remarkable enthusiasm and patience. @swiftactionrecovery provided further perspective on D&D 4e, and her current paladin (”paladin”; it’s complicated), Aurora, is a great example of a non-traditional take that is at the same time very on-brand. Emerald has long provided the service of beating my ass when I start getting stupid about my own values and beliefs, and @ahr42p‘s fascination with fantasy ethics has informed a lot of my own thoughts on the same. None of this would be possible without you folks.

This article’s title is drawn from Maverick Hunter Quest, written by Cain Labs & Hunter Command. It appears as the motto of the 10th Urban Unit; dedicated soldiers whose specialty was preserving lives, preventing collateral damage, and steering disasters away from the innocent.

None of my articles are quite complete without Content Warnings; the following will contain mentions and descriptions of violence (including state-sanctioned violence such as executions), mentions of high crimes such as slavery and forced conversion, discussion of religion in both fictional and non-fictional contexts, and discussion of fascism and fascist ideology. It is also the end result of more than 20 years of both passionate love for paladins and equally passionate hatred of the same. If you’re wondering what some of that has to do with paladins…well, you’re in for a ride.

So, without further ado, let’s get into…

MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.

is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.

Yes it's only the richest people with money to burn having a great time, yes our administration is still doing awful police state immigration shit to the visiting teams let alone the fans, yes this place is still a nightmare for everyone else

but there is still joy to be had and while that doesn't erase the bad, the bad does not erase the joy

They do also have eyes, and their vision is actually pretty acute. But their optic and mechanic sensory inputs aren't integrated together like electro-mechanic sense is. So they have these two fairly sophisticated sensory complexes that Barely talk to each other.

No wonder they try to bring the two inputs together in their environment then; picking things up and turning them around allows them to apply both their mechanical and optical senses to the object. They're just trying to make up for a deficiency of neural organisation.