wolffy/shale/andradite/andy • experimenting, pick whatever pronouns you like • ageless cryptid • aspiring weirdo and ally of freaks, geeks, and all animalia • inveterate multifan and multishipper • a lesson on the limitations of wax as an adhesive • mcm6 mutant gang • festering sore with a fractional hugo • something i don't have for something i won't have but somebody will someday • it's all people fighting a hard battle • thankful for our cradles graces (but we're not coming back) • The arc of history bends toward four kelvin iron dust (bend it toward justice, if our wrench is long enough) • Sidebar by @empressofmankind
I have recently acquired an electric bike. I went back and forth on whether to get one (due to the expense, risk of getting stolen, etc) but I finally decided to. I am for various reasons deliberately not buying a car, and I live somewhere hilly enough that having a bit of help from a motor makes a bike more practical.
I have only had it for a few days and they have been... an exciting few days. I am developing a love-hate relationship for this heavy thing that goes NYOOM. But at the moment it is mostly love, just. If it was a boyfriend and not a bike, people should be worried, but it's an inanimate object, so it's probably fine. ("Yes, he hurts me, but he can change!!!")
But yesterday-- it was pouring rain, but I decided that shouldn't stop me from taking it for a spin. I also managed to have a literal fender bender* that day, which was the day after I bought the thing. I had to try and repair a bike while in the rain by getting instructions from a discord friend. Also, because I wear glasses, I could only sort of see where I was going. But I have RARELY FELT SO ALIVE. I LOVE MY BIKE.
But any way. I'm having fun, and I am appreciating being able to get places faster, and once I get more confidence, I can go even fasterer.
...if I end up as mincemeat on the road at some point, not that I died doing one of the things I loved.
/* My bike, me, and a bike rack got into a disagreement that ended up with me falling one way, the bike falling the other, and bending the wires that held the front fender in place. It was fixable, thankfully, by being the wires back.
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Though now I am faced with a dilemma. So, I have been recently using the Gideon method with my writing (short version is: have a short list of projects, work on them in order for 12 hours each, have a one in one out policy for projects) and I have learned something important:
The Gideon Method really does not work with the way I write
So now it has been months since I have worked on my novel and I have lost momentum, and I also need to work out what the heck I am doing.
...one of the things I am doing is going back to the 'work on two projects at once, on alternate days'. I just need to work out what projects and in what order.
Desiderata:
being in a drawer for longer isn't likely to hurt my original projects any more than they have already been hurt... but I don't want them in a drawer forever
But for [reasons], I don't think I want to be alternating between two different original projects. I want to be alternating an original project with something else.
ArtFight is coming up! I want to do artfight this year! Which will also mean I need to make references for ArtFight
I want to get rid of the projects that have deadlines as soon as I can. These projects are 'make podfics for people who won podfic auctions in fandom trumps hate' and 'why did I bid on sensitivity reading for blind characters when I had no projects with blind characters'
I do want to work on the Finwe/Orome fic and the 'Siffrin accidentally stabs himself' fic sooner rather than later.
Current tentative plan is to start alternating Artfight with the fandom trumps hate podfics, and the go from there.
I do have a couple ideas for shortish original fiction featuring blind characters, at least? I'm just running to 'okay, so you have an external plot but I'm confused about your internal plot, and you have a really good internal plot but I have less of an idea of how to make it external.' (with a side of 'do I want to give details on tumblr, or would that be showing too much of how the sausage gets made?' :P)
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I had the incredible privilege to design this year’s Pride Shirt from Critical Role! It features our beloved Blue Boi Dorian Storm on his steed Coriolis. I snuck in a little favour of his lover, tied to his arm, and some sneaky Latin: “Amore fiunt homines” is Latin for “It’s love that makes people.”
You can find it in all the CR shops! I’ll be offering prints, too.
https://shop.critrole.com/collections/new-products/products/how-do-you-want-to-slay-this-t-shirt
Who’s celebrating? Maybe a couple you don’t draw often? What’s the celebration for?
Celebrating a successful return from battle! Thanks for the rq!!
[ID: A QJJ Doodle. Xiao Chiye in his battle armor, smiles brightly while he carries Shen Zechuan in his arms. SZC smiles in relief as he rests his arms on XCY's shoulders. They rest their foreheads against each other. End ID]
I want to highly recommend two tools for helping you with this very sad situation, which you must use before it happens.
The first is this wonderful script that will automatically add key information (that you choose) like author, title, summary, etc to your bookmark notes so you at least know what got deleted.
The second is this incredible bulk downloader for AO3. Input any AO3 page (such as your bookmarks page) and tell it what format you want to download in and it will just.... DOWNLOAD IT ALL!! I run it every few months so that I have all my bookmarks downloaded in my preferred EPUB format. That way I know I always have my favorites downloaded in case they ever get deleted.
With the combination of these two, I can look in my bookmarks, see what was deleted, and easily find it in my downloads. It's such a relief to have my own fic library is all my favs!
how silm characters react to being faced with a horror beyond comprehension:
- fëanor: comprehends it out of spite. goes mad. possibly becomes an incomprehensible horror himself
- fingolfin: comprehends the horror. walks with the knowledge of horror for a century or so, quietly going mad. the day he snaps the land is aflame and he's riding to challenge the devil to duel
- finarfin: refuses to comprehend the horror out of spite. walks away from the horror. returns a century later to give the horror a beating, still refusing to comprehend it
- finrod: is so interested in the cultural background of the horror he forgets to comprehend it. possibly spends a year just chatting it up
- beren: comprehends the horror, walks away forever changed by the knowledge which he can't quite remember but which will forever haunt him, never speaks of it.
- luthien: uno reverse. the horror comprehends her
- eönwë: outhorrors the horror like some sort of an eldritch creature show off. comprehends it and is not impressed.
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[id: a 2 panel comic. in the first, a person says "i am having a bad day."
in the second, a crowd of featureless grey people labeled "my ocs and blorbos" stand in front of an "angst meat grinder". the person from the first panel says "but you are all about to have a much worse one!" end id]
it's sad that the poll tourney trend ended three years ago because a) i liked being so invested in absolute nonsense and b) i really want to do a "favorite victims of fandom misogyny" or "favorite hated female character" tournament. i'm just really in the mood to see people passionately defend unfairly maligned women (fictional) in my notes. would anyone be into this? i might try to do it anyway, but also it's kind of a bummer to run a poll where only like three people are participating.
okay, this post got like ten notes, that's enough for me to at least give it a try. if i actually decide to go forward with this, i'll probably post the submission form again when i create a victims of fandom misogyny tournament sideblog (also if anyone has a better name idea than that mouthful, please suggest it!) but in the meantime, let's start submissions here. here are some rules:
no real people (obviously there are lots of real life women who are victims of fandom misogyny, but i feel like having those women compete in a poll against each other and also against fictional characters would be kind of disrespectful to the actual real life shit they were put through)
no men!!!! idc if he's like a woman to you, this tournament isn't for him!!!!
obviously, misogyny does not have to be the only factor here, it just has to be one of the factors. if racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc. are also part of the problem, do not hesitate to bring that up in your submission! it's highly relevant! the last thing i want is a tournament consisting of only cis straight white women, especially because so many of the hated/mistreated women of fandom are also marginalized in other ways that the fandom hates them for.
idk if this is a rule exactly, but just to clarify, this tournament is about which one of these characters is your favorite. it is emphatically not about trying to quantify which character is the biggest victim of fandom misogyny. that seems like an utterly exhausting and pointless thing to argue about, please don't subject me to that. i just want to see people defend their favorite overly maligned or mistreated girlies in my notes, i cannot stress this enough
characters don't have to be overtly hated to be victims of fandom misogyny. they can also be perpetually ignored in favor of men, or constantly characterized as the wise mom friend who the fandom has apparently decided has no desires or goals or needs besides being a sounding board for their favorite white boy, etc.
there's no time limit on this thing. even if the hatred/fandom mistreatment has died down and the character in question has been re-examined since, if there was ever a period in which they were subjected to fandom misogyny en masse, they count.
that said, don't choose characters who are generally universally beloved and always have been but you saw one person shit on them one time in a misogynistic way and got annoyed. i hate when that happens too, but it's does have to be a trend, not just one annoying guy, even if the guy in question is really annoying.
I don't usually do poetry, but contrapuntal poems have made me curious since I first read one (I think it was one of @two-bees-poetry's) and I wanted to try my hand at it. I was inspired by @fourseasonsblossoms's wonderful Nirvana in Fire contrapuntal poem series as well.
(many thanks also to @fromaliminalspace for being enthusiastic enough about it to make me want to post it <3)
If you've never encountered one, it's a 3-in-1 poem for two voices: I like reading the left side first, then the right, then the entire thing.
Text-only version under the cut.
Lin Shu
you lie; in agony on the blood-soaked snow
you had fire in your heart.
you were a soldier once,
do you remember?
you died.
you do not yet understand
how it will change you
be glad,
you will find out
open your eyes.
destruction is all you can see
a battlefield,
bloody lips and broken skin
a corpse, speaking. we know you
we know you will try.
dream.
within the confines of your mind,
avenge with your blade
the ghosts all around you.
close your eyes
this rage beneath your skin
the monster you’ve become
it’s a promise.
all this pain you’ve endured
someday it will end
the spirits of the dead hold you up in their arms
freezing wind blowing on your exposed skin.
for them
you will stay
you will live.
Mei Changsu
you lie; on your back unable to breathe
illness does not suit you
but it is the choice you made.
bones ground to dust, skin flayed apart
you survived.
the price you paid for this reprieve:
your face, your health, your self.
they will tell you, averting their eyes
that it was too high.
rise
from your bed; it has become
a prison.
this body no longer yours
will fail to achieve your goal.
find another way.
plan
the rise and fall of empires
the death of thousands.
the next day, repent
start over.
the poison in your veins
slowly kills you
you will keep it to yourself:
it will be over soon
just as it began.
the embraces of the living are nothing but
the scattered ashes of broken promises.
alone
you will wait
you will die.
Lin Shu / Mei Changsu
you lie; in agony on the blood-soaked snow / you lie; on your back unable to breathe
you had fire in your heart. / illness does not suit you
you were a soldier once, / but it is the choice you made.
do you remember? / bones ground to dust, skin flayed apart
you died. / you survived.
you do not yet understand / the price you paid for this reprieve:
how it will change you / your face, your health, your self.
be glad, / they will tell you, averting their eyes
you will find out / that it was too high.
open your eyes. / rise
destruction is all you can see / from your bed; it has become
a battlefield, / a prison.
bloody lips and broken skin / this body no longer yours
a corpse, speaking. we know you / will fail to achieve your goal.
we know you will try. / find another way.
dream. / plan
within the confines of your mind, / the rise and fall of empires
avenge with your blade / the death of thousands.
the ghosts all around you. / the next day, repent
close your eyes / start over.
this rage beneath your skin / the poison in your veins
the monster you’ve become / slowly kills you
it’s a promise. / you will keep it to yourself:
all this pain you’ve endured / it will be over soon
someday it will end / just as it began.
the spirits of the dead hold you up in their arms / the embraces of the living are nothing but
freezing wind blowing on your exposed skin. / the scattered ashes of broken promises.
for them / alone
you will stay / you will wait
you will live. / you will die.
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