To The O'Sheamobile

buffy (suspicious): and why do you know about romantic poetry

Honored friends,

The Worlds Beyond Number: The Official Graphic Novel Kickstarter launches on June 16, 2026 at 6AM PT / 9AM ET, and we wanted to let our Patreon supporters by the fireside know about an exclusive bonus you'll receive during the campaign.

As a thank you for supporting Worlds Beyond Number on Patreon, all paid Patreon subscribers who back any physical tier of the Kickstarter campaign will receive an exclusive special edition comic book at no additional cost.

Metro Man was not loved growing up in a way that mattered. His adopted father was clearly very absent, and while we don't know much about his family, their relationship seems superficial. Because of this, his sense of duty to the world is also superficial, hence his boredom.

Hal wasn't raised with power. He gained it and was shown how to use it by a 'space dad' who only taught him power and not love. Hence, he sees it only as a grasping means to an end.

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

Because at the end of the Thrawn campaign (~9.5ABY), Luke gives her his father's lightsaber.

Which he treats as a normal coworker interaction / gentle encouragement to join his Jedi Academy.

This is, for the record, COMPLETELY INSANE behavior.

Sir. This woman VERY recently had an inescapable psychic kill command for you lodged in her skull courtesy of the Emperor. And your response to resolving this situation is apparently:

“Here, take my dead father’s laser sword.”

:)

Luke is operating on spiritually earnest farmboy logic here, but Mara — who is bad at emotions in general and especially bad at affection directed at herself — is nevertheless, like many women, dimly aware of this thing called BOUNDARIES and decides maybe she should not immediately go do Jedi training with the incredibly intense blond man handing her meaningful family heirlooms after one shared military campaign.

Now, the Doylist explanation for all of this is obviously that the EU authors in this era were barely coordinating.

But the Watsonian result is hysterical.

Because while the rest of the cast is dealing with assorted disasters with the Imperial Civil War and Dark Empire Trilogy, Mara quietly kriffs offscreen to pursue Jedi training.

Not with Master Skywalker.

No.

With Kyle Katarn.

And if you know the timeline, this is SO funny because circa 9.5–10ABY Kyle is basically an independent-study self-certified Jedi Master whose primary qualifications are:

surviving

owning a lightsaber

and aggressively tomb raiding Sith ruins

This is peak Jedi Knight era Kyle. His entire educational and life philosophy is basically, “I found this in a crypt and it probably won’t kill me.”

So Mara, in an effort to avoid one emotionally complicated Jedi, accidentally apprentices herself to another Jedi whose emotional range is approximately that of a very honorable brick.

And naturally this culminates in Mysteries of the Sith, where Kyle immediately gets too cocky poking around Sith artifacts on Dromund Kaas and falls to the dark side.

Which means poor Mara spends her gap year dragging THIS IDIOT back from corruption.

(Should this perhaps have given her an early warning sign about the Exar Kun situation brewing at Luke’s Academy in the Jedi Academy Trilogy? You would THINK.)

But WAIT. Because this is ALSO the year of Dark Empire, my very favorite and absolutely deranged year of the Legends timeline.

So imagine this from Mara’s perspective.

You flee the emotionally earnest not-quite-love-interest Jedi by going to study under another Jedi who immediately starts having Sith Artifact Problems.

And then somewhere in the middle of this nonsense you get the news bulletin:

“By the way, Luke Skywalker got yoinked away by some kind of inexplicable Force storm and has apparently resurfaced as the military commander of the Reborn Emperor’s Operation Shadow Hand.”

And Mara’s just standing there like:

“... the REBORN WHAT.”

So during the events of Mysteries of the Sith, Mara successfully drags Kyle back from the dark side through what is, functionally, the Power of Friendship.

Like yes there are Sith artifacts and Force visions and actual mechanics involved, but emotionally the plot is basically:

“Kyle, stop licking cursed tomb walls.”

“No.” *lick*

“Kyle PLEASE.”

And somehow it works.

So Mara presumably exits this experience going:

“Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. I have now personally managed one emotionally constipated Jedi man having Sith Problems. Time to go talk down or put down Skywalker.”

And she’s probably mentally preparing herself for the world’s worst intervention road trip.

Like:

“Apparently if I don’t supervise Jedi personally they start freebasing Sith artifacts within thirty business days.”

Except then she gets back and —

Oh.

Luke already came back with his sister's help.

Apparently it was a phase.

Wonderful.

Excellent.

I DON’T have to solve every problem myself.

But then the VERY NEXT YEAR, 11ABY, the New Republic looks at this man — this VERY RECENTLY RECOVERED FROM A SITH APPRENTICESHIP man — and decides:

“Yes. We should give him government support to found a religious boarding school for Force-sensitive children.”

Insane institutional decision-making.

And Luke, who has learned absolutely nothing about normal interpersonal pacing, immediately circles back around to:

“Hey Mara :)

“do you want to come train at my Jedi Academy :)”

SIR.

From her perspective you vanished into evil hyperspace weather, joined your dead fascist dad’s evil wizard cult, and got government funding to open a school less than a year later.

You KNOW classic SF used the limited displays of CRT television and the static of transmitted signals the way theaters use stage makeup and lighting to make inexpensive props look great fine— take advantage of the medium! But it's hard to imagine how it looked if you've only seen Blu-ray HD restorations.