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@mylordshesacactus
"Chuck Tingle's The Party Gets Pounded By Demon Orangutans."
--It's better not to ask.

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Antoine The Asshole Monk: Is there anything that can protect us from the amber temple evil influence thing? DM: He says, in typical useless paladin fashion, that if you simply do not seek power... Cleric: [Distressed] We've gotta be pure of heart?! We're gonna lose Antoine!!!!
UPDATE:
The party has met the giant goat that weighs your soul against a feather or something to determine if you're allowed to enter the evil temple that will try to corrupt you.
The goat spent a WORRYING length of time staring at Antoine.
Atri (the baby cleric), after about ten seconds, in a stage whisper:
"Since this temple was built to contain things, I feel like the front door may have some important clues! Like...carvings, warnings, images, an....an information desk..."
--Dream big!!!
"We can acquire both kinds of dungeon rope: Climbing and Sex!"
--Always Be Prepared!
[Taking notes] "Don't....sleep....in the evil....corruption....hole."
--Barovia Survival Guide

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"Oh, we GOTTA carjack the Lasagna Lady."
--Context does not help.
"A body is only a body once the soul departs, but that's fucked up as hell."
--Atri is a very sincere religious student in professional mode but sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade.
"This storm giant is old. Very old." "Old as balls."
"I LOVE the idea of weakening Strahd before we fight Strahd. Raise your hand if you support the idea of weakening Strahd before we fight Strahd!"
--BREATH OF THE WILD SPEEDRUN STRAT LET'S GOOOOO [SPLATTERS MESSILY ACROSS THE LEVEL GEOMETRY]
"I feel like we may need more than a PLUS ONE BUFF TO SAVES to fight Strahd but I understand the ghost dragon was doing its best."
--vampire stole my fucking blood. can't have SHIT in Barovia

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"You know, everyone's always ragging on ATRI for her impulsive decisions. Phyn's a mush-were who sold his soul to an evil shadow that may or may not live in a cursed amber temple! He didn't even hesitate! I THINK I'M DOING ALRIGHT!"
--The double standards in this party smh
Listen, I maintain that climbing up ladders shouldn't move the Masquerade meter because it's literally a ladder, that's what ladders are for, mortal humans climb ladders all the time--
However.
It's so inherently funny that Phyre sets off the Masquerade meter by climbing ladders.
Like.
How bad can they possibly be doing it? How weird are they climbing that ladder?!
How fucking weird is this 400-year-old Ottoman dyke that they can somehow manage to climb a ladder so bizarrely that everyone within eyesight looks at them climbing a normal ladder, a device invented specifically for climbing, and goes "OH THAT THING AIN'T HUMAN".
since football and football have the same names i think we should resolve this with my new sport Definitive Football, detailed thusly:
the field is a standard football field including the goals, goalposts, and end zones
there are four teams: two football teams, and two football teams
the two football teams play football and follow all the usual rules for it
the two football teams play football and follow all the usual rules for it
at the same time
on the same field
while dodging around the teams playing the other football
either football can be interacted with by either team as if it were their football, including all rules for how they can interact with it and how they can score with it
i think this would result in several exciting new and innovative forms of long-term injury
A football match takes over ninety minutes to play, while a football game takes over three hours.
Clearly, two footballs must be played for every football.
unironically so important
one argument you often see about fanfiction is that it's like 'training wheels' writing? like 'oh it's fine to do that while you're still learning, it's easier than coming up with your own ideas'. and I have to say I have just never agreed with that.
in my experience it's actually pretty common for newbie fanfiction writers to gravitate towards coming up with OCs rather than writing about the canon characters (hence the infamous Mary Sue); this suggests that many people find that 'easier' than attempting to write about pre-existing characters.
I would say that recreating the characterisation, mood and general vibes of an existing work of fiction is in fact a skill in and of itself that's acquired via practice. A common compliment delivered to fanfiction writers is how well they have captured the spirit of the original work. Inexperienced fanfiction writers fail to do this.
When creating an original character you can, ultimately, say anything about them and now it's canon bcos you created them and you said so. conversely, well, if you are covering a well known song and start playing the wrong notes people will notice immediately.
In addition: a lot of fanfiction, IMO, is in actuality a form of metafictional literary analysis. a story where two characters sit down and talk about their feelings about a canonical event? literary analysis, which is of course a skill. Sometimes fanfiction is bad bcos the writer is not good at interpreting texts.
finally I have made this point before but you never really see anyone suggesting that fictional works based on existing public domain texts are on 'easy mode'. is it 'easier' to write something based on a copyrighted work than a public domain work? Of course it isn't.
I know I said 'finally' but I forgot a point:
A major strength of the transformative work is its ability to create dramatic irony. If a fanfiction's emotional resonance is dependent on being familiar with the source material that's not necessarily a bad thing. sometimes it's a sign that the author has done a really skillful job of engaging with said source material.

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The Rings:
(wash your fucking hands Benny. Jesus)
(of course, for Phyre to find it there means she couldn't have been wearing it when she removed their powers- nix's my original theory for the rings purpose)
(Gideons/The Gardeners im sure)
Found in the codex game files but never made it into the game proper:
"A Marked Ring β Willem"
................................................................................
"The band of this ring shows distress. The metal is thinner than any others that the Nomad has discovered and while the mark is still visible there are signs that the wearer was constantly rubbing at it and wearing it down."
(the "marked ring- willem" and "the band of this ring..." lines are split up alphabetically over the codex file like all the entries but who else could that description belong to)
See, the problem with character vs character polls is that you will at some point reach the rule of funny. So the real question isn't if One Punch Man Saitama or Goku would win, the real question is:
Who would win?
Miss Piggy
Bugs Bunny
"Miss Piggy is exactly the sort of entitled Bugs Bunny would wipe the floor with. She is what Bugs Bunny is built to destroy."
-prev, just now