karate kid 1: boy needs to win this childrenās karate tournament so he stops getting bullied at school
karate kid 2: multiple human lives are at stake. boy may have to make his first kill
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karate kid 1: boy needs to win this childrenās karate tournament so he stops getting bullied at school
karate kid 2: multiple human lives are at stake. boy may have to make his first kill

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he's beautiful i literally need to put him under extreme psychological stress. i need to put him in extreme physical pain. i need him curling up in someone's arms for the feelings of safety and comfort he hasn't received in ages
Me: Wow, I love Hannan and Vaelus's relationship! Its so deep and complicated! I cant wait to see it develop further!
The evil and despicable Primus Tachonis: š
ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.
and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post
I can't stop laughing about how Petra and Ryah are passed over as heirs specifically because they keep murdering their fiancƩs. extremely funny thing to be disowned for in the necromancer psychopomp death family of undeath and the dead.

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god remember how deirta made her son kill her with his own hands as some kind of punishment/penance/mercy for committing treason for her. I know I dwelt on it for like months but we still moved on too quickly. actually on second thought I can't dwell on it more than I already have because I will start frothing at the mouth. I have literally no choice but to stan okay
so if bells hells orchestrated the consecution of the gods... and kicked off their cycles of consecuted reincarnations... and we also know that, eventually, those with multiple consecuted reincarnations under their belts eventually develop typhros and become mad... are all of the gods condemned to eventual madness and exandria is heading towards calamity 2.0?
occtis's first question when he wakes up dead being "woah why are you here" to murray was met with incredulousness but honestly if my brother murdered me and then i woke up with my insides literally showing and the first thing i saw was my thesis advisor, i'd also be pretty confused about it š
Menstruating, halucinating only one of her dead sons, surrounded by rats, unable to sleep since that's presumably the bed her mother died in, husbuncle wants to kill her little brother who is actually just some kid, girlfriend wants a worker's revolution, 3/6 kids of her kids are dead and one of her step daughters is unaccounted for, drunken gay ex-husband's father is comparing his whoring around to her and Laenor having a sperm donor/poly situation and then throwing a tantrum in public, head of the church won't even crown her until they procure her brother's remains. Terrible day to be Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen

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Just throwing my [Projekt Funball] predictions out there before the show to see how many I get right bc this must be how men feel making sports bets:
- Caleb will be vulnerable to ācorruptionā bc heās so nervous about Essek being discovered by the bright Queen at the end of C3, Liam himself said Caleb was spiraling after that insight check
- a small but not insignificant part of Essek ānoo stoppp donāt hurt me :)ā Thelyss will be having the time of its life
- in an inversion of the tower, each member of the nein is going to have a room specifically designed to trap them, whether itās playing on the things they want most or their greatest fears (probably dependent on how compliant they are w Calebās manipulations, which knowing the mighty nein itāll almost certainly turn into the latter pretty expeditiously lmao)
- if thereās a room specific to each of the mighty nein, how much do you wanna bet thereās gonna be an angsty self-punishment room designed for Caleb much like the 8th floor of his tower?
- Caduceus will be there, Kingsley will be off in darktow causing the trouble that will lead to the Edinburgh live show
- Luc will be there, not Veth. As much as I know folks want to see her pregnant/the baby I canāt think of a single good in character reason for her to be there without it feeling like character regression. If she said no to Caleb when his greatest abuser escaped so she could stay and protect her campers I donāt foresee her risking her babyās life to fish Caleb out of wizard shenanigans he got into purely recreationally. Veth and Caleb still love each other very much but their relationship could get very blurry and lopsided at times and veth setting clear boundaries and not always running to help Caleb at the drop of a hat was good and healthy for her. And as much as it would be great to have his closest friend there for whatās shaping up to be a character study for Caleb, I can easily see Luc being there and having some jealousy/insecurity regarding the new baby to work out so itās not like Sam wonāt have some emotional conflict to chew on if veth sits this one out, and itās not like the ins and outs of Caleb and veths relationship havenāt already been thoroughly explored
- Along the same vein, I think this will be largely shadowgast centric. How much the mighty nein mean to Caleb and how instrumental theyāre going to be to breaking him out of this canāt be understated, but weāve had the entire 141 episode campaign at 4+ hours an episode to establish their relationships and importance to each other. As beloved as shadowgast is we really have seen very little of their dynamic properly ātogetherā played out in the live format, they ended campaign 2 on a situationship note with a lot left to iron out individually and together and then we saw them briefly in campaign 3 common law married a decade later. I DESPERATELY want to crack into Essekās head and their dynamic, esp in the wake of how we left things in C3 with his cover blown and the added context of his backstory in season 1 of the animated series
- MATTHEW MERCER!!! USE CONVERGENT FUTURE IN A LIVE PLAY!!!! AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!!!!!!! But no seriously itās such a crazy ability and the exhaustion points it incurs are ANGSTTTTTTT potential especially if Essek keeps using it in increasingly desperate attempts to save Caleb or keep Caleb from doing something heāll regret and pushes and pushes until he himself dropsā¦.. oh yesā¦ā¦.. YESSSSSS
Canāt think of anything else right this second but safe to say Iām counting down the days on my little calendar
Never believe me about anything yall I donāt know what Iām talking about
Key art for Echoes of Exandria: Darktow by Coey Kuhn (via the Critical Role Twitter)
i hope when they make the bells hells animated series, the don't have laudna and imogen be together from the start. i need to see imogen descend into madness and jealousy as she is consumed by lesbianism. i need to see the inexplicable softness they have toward each other that makes the rest of the group look at each other behind their backs and whisper, "what the fuck is up with them?" i want to see them sleeping in the same bed every night, i need the "she was like music" and "she's very capable" just for them to both turn around and be like, "what, we aren't together??? what are you talking about???"
the kiss better not happen until like 3 seasons in if i'm being honest but it also has to be "can i kiss you?" "sure" in the middle of a market
i know they gotta change things, but i need this incredibly co-dependent friendship slowburn into romance to be adapted as closely as possible. oblivious to the inner-workings of your own relationship until it bulldozes you
I love angst and toxicity in my fictional couples. That being said if I wanted to see a toxic m/f pairing where the woman is the one constantly getting used/manipulated/taken advantage of by a man I would simply go outside.
Projekt Funball vibe prediction

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I know "only Julien can fix Julien" but I think if he had a 6ft tall wife who could grow to 9ft tall and summon an ax at will it would encourage him to fix himself faster
i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should