ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVEÂ

Product Placement

Kiana Khansmith
i don't do bad sauce passes
Show & Tell
Jules of Nature
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sade Olutola

JBB: An Artblog!
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⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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Discoholic đȘ©
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Three Goblin Art
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
ojovivo
wallacepolsom
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@iamobfuscation
ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVEÂ

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i don't even particularly like genre romance, but it's always so weird to see people (usually, though not always, men) going 'you know REAL LIFE men don't act like the men in romance novels, right???' as if it's a gotcha.
like, yeah. obviously. real life women don't act like the women in romance novels either. it's a genre with extremely stylized and predictable character beats that exist to serve the romantic arc rather than to deeply explore or accurately reproduce human behavior. this complaint makes about as much sense as superciliously sneering that small english towns don't ACTUALLY have a murder every other week for the local eccentric to investigate.
it's soooo telling because like on one hand: yeah, we know. we all know. you acting as if we don't know says more about your attitude than ours. and on the other hand: maybe the fact that for over a century women (and it is mostly women, still) have been getting together to imagine "what kind of man would I like to marry" and the resulting archetype is, most notably, more supportive, more caring, and better in bed than the men who complain about romance novels being unrealistic... maybe that should make you realise some stuff, idk. about either yourself as a person or patriarchy as a societal structure, whichever
"christianityâ" stop. what you just said only applies to american evangelical protestantism.
"religionâ" Stop. What You Just Said Only Applies To American Evangelical Protestantism.
But why did Dracula do that, though? Crawling out the window? in a lizard fashion? Wouldn't it mess up his nice clothes? Also he has doors? That he could just open? And walk through????
One of the scariest things about Dracula is what a weirdo he is for no reason.

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monster that wants to eat your flesh : Okay, that's what most carnivores do. Not scary.
monster that wants to drink your blood : Okay, that's what mosquitos do to me. Not scary.
monster that wants to specifically eat your bones : whadda fuck
#giant African land snail if it was evil as opposed to a being of pure heart and utmost virtue
hey tumblr user ravnervn, I now have additional questions, such as, bwah?
Giant African Land Snails eat bones in order to get calcium for their shells, but are also among God's most innocent of creatures and thus contain no malice. Hope this helps.
Giant African land snails are (as far as I know) the only invasive species in the US that poses risks to all three categories of environmental damage, human health, AND structural damage--because they will eat stucco and plaster in their hunt for calcium.
Of course I don't blame the snails for this, they are just doing their snail thing and it's not their fault we introduced them to a new place where there's lots of delicious native vegetation and building materials to devour. But if bones are not available they WILL eat your house.
Kinda poetic that they will eat YOUR house to build THEIR house
It's the ciiiircle of hooouse....
Hi yes hello itâs me the local wizard, and I- Ok well âevilâ feels like a strong word but yes, thatâs me. Anyway, I need your help. I know I stole away the kingdoms 12 princesses, thatâs my bad. Listen, I didnât think this through. It didnât occur to me that having a dozen angry young women from early teen to early 20s and giving them giant powerful wings would be a bad idea.
I know Iâm the one who cast the curse but it can still only be broken with true love. Iâm begging you, somebody, please come and fall in love with these girls and make them leave, I canât take it anymore, it sucks so bad. I canât keep getting viciously bullied by one of the largest living species of waterfowl anymore. Iâve tried running away but they can fly so they just find me. Iâm getting nothing done.
Iâll pay you, Iâll grant you wishes, I donât care, please just come and fall in love with the mean angry women who live in my yard and hate me so bad
#please! if they were princesses then these are TITLED geese - via @malachite-in-corvidae
Based on a true story
a trap song with the rapper growing increasingly concerned about all the gun sound effects in the musicÂ
Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????
hello?
sdfghjhgfd
Target audience
I have the dragon pussy candle (got it for my gf as a jokey Xmas gift) and
1. It smells pretty good! Fruit+spices+smoke?
2. The scent fucking SPREADS and LINGERS. I had it lit for like half an hour last winter and I swear to god our entire apartment smelled like dragon pussy for the rest of the night. My gf walked in the door and was immediately like âyou lit the dragon pussy candle didnât youâ and I had to be like âyeah, I didâ. We almost exclusively use it for either âwe just smoked weed and now weâre opening all the windowsâ moments or âthe cats just made a horrible monster smell that must be defeated by a greater monsterâ.
3. You will light it and immediately go âhuh, yeah I guess that is what dragon pussy would smell likeâ
more screenshots from their website.
these scents are transgender as hell. I want multiple of these candles for my birthday
Hay, what's the website for these things called again?
I can't tell if this is a joke or not, but at the risk of being a gullible rube, here it is
THESE ARE THE BEST CANDLES
a rare tumblr ad W
Shipping is now 5 days (ish) instead of three.

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So if yall didnât know, in The Hobbit book, Thranduil had the Dwarves locked up for approximately weeks, and Bilbo was just invisible and wandering in the palace the entire time, vibing miserably.
My headcanon, therefore, is that the Mirkwood Elves now have a local legend about a ghost haunting Thranduilâs palace, never seen but generally thought to be harmless. Thranduil scoffs at the idea, but has been seen glancing around at the dark corners of rooms. Legolas fully believes in it and is known to say hello out loud when he enters an empty room, in case the ghost is nearby.
Itâs not until Legolas joins the Fellowship that he figures out that the supposed ghost was actually an invisible Bilbo the whole time. He never tells Thranduil, because he thinks itâs funny to see his regal father unnerved by the idea of a ghost.
older lotr illustrations sometimes depict Ă©owyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), thereâs another hilarious thought:
Ă©owyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn menâs armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.
therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:
thereâs a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats itâs the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping
the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armorÂ
so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off
Thatâs a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that
male or female
hero or villain
sea or land
even in the snow
I guarantee you Frazettaâs Rohirrim were 100% pants-free
Good Old Frank. That man loved bodies and hated clothes so much
Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frankâs work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.
That man gave us the gift of warrior thighs and tits for everyone.
Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasnât some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.
Itâs time for my regular reblog of Gondor Needs No Pants
Frank Frazetta - Wikipedia
âI am definitely an ass man. It blows my mind. Talk about simple shapes. Two very simplistic curves. Itâs so dumb, but they are fascinating as hell. Itâs more than that. Itâs the way the rest of the anatomy ties into that area â incredible beautyâ
- Frank âgodfather of fantasy artâ Frazetta
@jorality
A 50-kilogram anvil floats perfectly on the surface of mercury, because the density of the steel from which it is made is almost half the density of mercury.
damn that shit is light lmfao
Fun fact! Many lighthouses with especially large fresnel lenses would have huge fucking tubs of liquid mercury in the lantern room because itâs a super easy way to make these giant lenses rotate quickly!
Shockingly, however, spending most of your time in close proximity to 500 pounds of liquid mercury is Not Great For Oneâs Health and tons of lighthouse keepers started to go crazy from the whole. Mercury poisoning thing. Hence why there are a lot of âhauntedâ lighthouses or wickies that lose it and maybe do a bit of manslaughter.
Anyway, people saw a bunch of lighthouse keepers go crazy and get sick and got empirical evidence that it was in fact related to the 500 pound mercury bath they have to visit every day and then they decided nah itâs fine actually. So weâve kept the liquid mercury thing and I think thatâs beautiful
I love how it is so dense it does not "wet" the anvil, the drops all run and leave with nothing behind them unlike water, oil, sauce... it's super satisfying it's like in cartoons
In a letter written on April 19, 1825, Augustin Fresnel proposed the use of mercury to reduce the friction in revolving lenses. His statement follows: âI propose to float our rotating devices, of the first order, in a bath of mercury, instead of placing them on rollers. This project won't present many difficulties; nevertheless, as I have not put it into execution, I won't require you to adopt it for your first lighthouse.â
Fresnelâs plan for mercury flotation was not put into practice until 1890 when Monsieur Leon Bourdelles, Chief Engineer of the French Lighthouse Service, designed and built a workable mercury flotation system. The mercury bath allowed the lens to operate in an almost frictionless environment and, additionally, allowed the speed of rotation to be dramatically increased.
Lens Rotation by Thomas Tag | United States Lighthouse Society
Ah to be a sailor in 1890 who has to turn to his fellow men and ask "is it just me or are the lighthouses flashing faster?"
They had been slowly getting faster for decades.
It mattered for optics reasons.
Under less-than-ideal conditions, you can only see the beam when itâs pointed more or less directly at you. In-between beams you would not be able to see anything. One solution to this was to create multiple beams, and the lenses Mr Fresnel designed usually created 8 beams. But, even still, duration between flashes could be as long as one minute in the old mechanical roller systems.
The nearly frictionless operation of the Mercury suspension system allowed the lenses (large pieces of precisely ground glass weighing several hundred pounds in some cases) to rotate fast enough that they could be redesigned to create fewer (usually 3) beams. Fewer beams from a similar light source will be proportionally brighter, and the gains in speed were sufficient that duration between flashes could still be reduced to as little as 10 seconds.
This was a big upgrade. It didnât just make the lighthouse signal faster, it allowed them to completely overhaul the lens and derive more visibility from a light source.
Whatâs a little Madness, in the face of Progress?
You. I like you.

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it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related