live by the shrimp. die by the shrimp.

Never gonna forgive Disney for making people think Alice had a good time at that tea party

Critical support to these scammers weaponizing homophobia to drain right-wingers' bank accounts 🫡

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

I apparently reblogged this in 2012 and someone just reblogged it from me this post is so fucki g cool and fu.nny

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

im in so much physical pain i might died

the stingray

it should be illegal for people to be in the kitchen at the same time as me

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

Some of you people don’t clean the lint tray in between loads and I can tell jsut by the way you post

fuck does lint have to do w bustin loads LOL

oh like clothes

This post was laid like a trap in the grass for unsuspecting animals like you to wander by and prove that cum comes before laundry on tumblr dot org

it was so kind of you to chain me to the radiator so i can stay warm when it gets a bit too cold in the basement thank you :)

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation