Welcome to my lair

Foreman: I think its time go shoot them down.

Me: I think id prefer a different method

Foreman: just because youre a birdwatcher doesnt mean you have to be a softie about it.

My wife said that she just has an unshakable faith in our ability to fix things. And I guess we do often fix stuff and she has limited understanding of the variety of skillsets needed for that. So that makes sense.

I think probably it’s a common tho not universal image for young kids to have of their caregivers.

Anyways I think this should be used a lot more in stories about necromancy. Because if she brought me a dead pet or whatever and asked me to fix it and had just so much faith that I could do it, and I thought there was any chance I could do it it’d be “ok honey let’s go see if we can find some forbidden books at the library. Maybe we can get doughnuts after”

I will not trip and fall down the stairs while carrying all of my knights armor again

The horses love me

I am not in love with the wizard apprentice

My knight appreciates my hard work

the only person she really talks to about it is obi-wan, who is of course the opposite of team 'hes evil rn but theres still good in him' and not receptive at all

"We know it looks like a butt plug, just drink the water, it's hot outside"

And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest

Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.

Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.

It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.

Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados

Rural Illinois, USA:

One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you

No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.

There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.

Karlach 🔥