Amo Ergo Sum

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

freshman year of college I (a simple lesbian) met a gay dude and we instantly clicked and started talking about our childhoods and stuff and discovered we were born in the same hospital on the same day so we became each other's beards and watched hentai together every weekend

That sentence started and ended in very different places

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

today a customer was like "i LOVE your overalls!" and i said "thanks! i found them on the side of the road!" and she said, "wow! and the sweater is so perfect too!" and i said, "thanks! i also found them on the side of a different road!" and she said, "i need to start biking more"

My favorite part is when the kitty runs to the window and looks out like “the outside stuff????? It is inside?????”

and are death and the maiden perhaps looking for a third

be nice to younger bunnies and teach them how to hop around and thump really loud !!