Rude dude with subzero chill.

Well she was almost done stuffing him and then I noticed that you can put scents in your bear and fucking love cotton candy and the girl basically car salesmen style sold me on the scent pad and asked where I wanted the scent to go

And I didn’t know where it should go but she herself being quite the plushie enthusiast was like “you’re gonna hug him a lot right? may I reccomend right here” and pointed to his forehead

So I was like “awe cute yeah that sounds good” (my bulbasaur is totally stuffed mind you and I even had her make him extra firm )

and then the girl rolls up her sleeves and was like “alright bulbasaur! Here we go! I apologize in advance but this is gonna look very inappropriate!”

And she fisted my super full bulbasaur all the way to her elbow saying sorry to him and to me over and over again. It took her several tries to get the scent pad in place since my bulbasaur was so stuffed and she looked like she was straining and saying “I don’t know why they didn’t think about this design more, so many parents are gonna complain about this one day, I know it”

SECOND: I HAVE TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE CHILD PURCHASING THE ANALLY INCLINED POKEMON ASKING ME, “why is it in it’s butt?”

LIKE I DON’T K N O W BUT IT ISN’T MY FAULT AND I CAN’T VERY WELL SAY I’M “RAWING BULBASAUR” IN FRONT OF A CHILD AND PARENT COMBO BUT EVERY TIME I LAUGH AND SAY, “that’s just the way it is” WHILE I FORCE STUFFING INTO THE POOR TOY’S ASSHOLE AND ASK MYSELF HOW MY LIFE CAME TO THIS

when we got bulbasaur my manager looked at me, looked at its anus, and said she was sorry.

WHAT IF POKEMON WERE INFUSED WITH GRAFFITI??

*whistling starts*

Me: