eine kleine, mit altem Rost bedeckte Nähschere

getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes

one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."

My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.

can you hear the lambs clarice??

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

the species that can take you out are literally wizards with magic boom sticks that instantly wound you from a distance. they're mostly just scared of you though, if you catch one without the boom stick they're very easy to kill. also they leave treasure chests full of delicious food around where they live and if you're smart you can figure out how to open them. going into one of their settlements is basically a dungeon crawler RPG.

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

Hey! Wanna fuck? Meet me on MyChart....

not even allowed to keep adolescent sex slaves anymore. because of woke

not even allowed to keep a harem of adolescent sex slaves and eat human flesh anymore. because of woke

holy shit have you evver tried this new substance called album in order

sure no one asked to read the script because it wouldn't be very nolan suck-up of them, but if anne "i think penelope loves odysseus" hathway tom "i didn't know my character was so important" "i didn't read the odyssey i only knew there were cyclops" holland lupita "i haven't read the odyssey" "i would ask homer why women have so little screen time" nyong'o matt "it depends it may be a love story" damon read the script what would have changed? they are proudly ignorant of what they set to adapt and lacking any real curiosity to learn about it. the only one who read the script beforehand robert "he's like jacob from twilight and she is indecisive between two men she loves" pattinson is proof enough it would have been pointless anyway.