I was once showing a friend a bunch of old pictures of me and they said “wow, you’ve lived so many lives!” And the more i think about it, the more true that feels…I’ve been so many different people…not just gender and sexuality-wise, but entire aspects of my personality. Or rather, the circumstances have changed and the core “me” has maybe stayed the same, for the most part. Months and years of stagnation and plateaus, months and years of exponential growth and self-discovery. I do not feel as if i was ever “closeted” before coming out all the various times i have as an adult, and only sometimes when i was growing up. All of these versions of me have felt full and authentic and right and served their purpose, until they didn’t! I simply changed! Maybe im at my final destination now, maybe i have more changing to do…life is long and there is no permanent state of the self.
Little me should not have gone through some of the things I did, and yet i would not be this person without those experiences. All my experiences, all the people I’ve met, friends and family and coworkers and enemies and lovers and situationships and exes and enemies and cashiers and servers and people I pass on the street, all my highs and lows, all my drunks/highs/sobers, have made me this person. And for now, im good with who he is.
If you are in any of these photos or we have crossed paths in any capacity, thank you for being in my life and being a part of creating who i am. Whether our relationship to each other was positive or negative or nuanced, either back then or in the present, i am thankful for the part we have played in each other’s lives, and i wish you well.
I can’t wait to see what cool and awesome and fun and bad and stressful and bittersweet and boring and beautiful and ugly and soft and embarrassing and hard and wonderful and terrible things i get up to next.
-Milo 🩵
