last night my teeth fell out like ivory typewriter keys

You stupid bitch there's literally a starman waiting in the sky

Trapped in a island with the beatboxing puppy

guy who never goes to bed but instead takes thousands of "micro sleeps" every time he blinks throughout the day, sustaining him perfectly

society has genuinely moved past the need for christopher nolan

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description