GermanDelights

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

⚠︎ ! your body has kept the score.

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

Okay I’ll admit. The ao3 volunteers who decided to change the “beta” to “omega” for April fools and then announce the next day that they were actually leaving beta are the funniest people alive

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

VAGINA!!!!

I love how tumblr users play with Jorge I mean jpegs not Jorge who the fuck is Jorge

Spiders jpg

Woah dude

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Official Wednesday post

It's Tuesday

Happy "Not Only Is It Not Friday, It's Not Even Thursday, Official Wednesday, It's Tuesday" Monday, everyone

When there's a very obvious bloodstain in the hardwood kitchen floor, but the house is 30k under expected price

it's fine

I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings.

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

@stormuna

it used to be 2007 you know

All the adults should put in the tags how old they were in 2007

that is the most black cat looking black cat i've seen in my life, good for them.