Mellow Drama

yall are a little too good at replicating the old tumblr fandom posts please stop i feel like a veteran on the fourth of july

Instagram ads piss me off. Like, yes, I do want those black waterproof boots embroidered with a gold sun and moon, but I hate that you know that about me. I hate the little AI oracles sitting in their digital caves making algorithmic prophecies about my spending habits, then sending sending their electronic servants to me with hedonistic temptations targeted at my weaknesses… I’ve already got nice boots, thanks!

unexpected pregnancy fanfic but the person just gets an abortion and it ends

Zootopia

no offense but bucky not remembering what he does as the winter soldier makes his & sam’s rivalry so much funnier

This just keeps getting better and better

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

dick so good it turns you into hold on i can’t finish this post. there’s a cobweb on my couch i can see it

i can finish it for you lemme try. dick so good it turns you into The Thing

thanks king that means a lot. there are spiders everywhere

you can exchange those for bonuses and points

At the spider store?

at the spider store yeah

children are the no.1 fan of alternative fashions. even beyond legitimate members of the subcultures. you'll never love your look more than some 9yo at the mall burning holes into your back with their stare while they build up the courage to tell you they like your spikes/frills/tattoos/etc.

on our way to brunch one sunday we passed a 8ish-y.o. kid who did a literal double take at my bestie in royal blue lipstick and blurted, "I LIKE YOUR MOUTH." compliments from kids are the best.

My cousin Throckmorton died?????

it took me a full minute to realize that you weren’t advocating using a flying rodent to inflict pain

I know I’ve reblogged this and commented before- but my favorite part is that immediately after this, Malcolm is like “so anyway I got you these” and hands Reese some pamphlets about accepting yourself as queer that he got from the guidance counselor, and Reese is like “oh, I got you these” and hands him a grocery bag full of gay porn.