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@dykeyprincesspeach
Contemplating crimes….

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Oilspill
Prints
Reblog if you are Bad Queer Representation.
i recently found out what the * * * that sometimes separates parts of a text is called and youre never gonna fucking believe it
I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now
Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.
Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.
Frog: turns around and eats the bug.
Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“You never reply to messages” I am just one person okay I am understaffed
I have a confession to make... I thought the idea of wireless headphones like air pods were so so stupid when they first came out. But having owned wireless headphone pods with a case I have to admit that I do enjoy them quite a lot. But we should still eat the spleen of every person who lobbied to phase out the headphone jack in electronics
Wireless headphones: great, can move around without having to drag my phone or laptop with me, chord doesn't get caught on doorknobs anymore
No headphone jack in my phone: terrible, awful, everyone involved should get hit with a hammer
Pronoun roles on discord servers aren't a bad idea, but there is the fun implication that you can ping an entire pronoun set.
Hey I got a problem with something, this is an all they/thems on deck situation
genuinely awesome
it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.
I’ve seen this post easily 12 times now and EVERY TIME it’s just a different cat looking at a different door.
collected as many as i could from the notes until tumblr unloaded the post and wouldnt let me look further ……
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

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saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works
Me, having been immobile for three hours: hmm I should get up and pee
The world’s tiniest angel: time for snomgol my mommi :)
every day i learn and grow, too
Let's all quit
see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell
Very tenuous link to one of my favourite tweets

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"Decolonize Everything"
“When the last tree is cut, the last river poisoned, and the last fish caught… then you will realize money cannot be eaten.”
Anti-colonial graffiti seen in Pensacola, Florida
"Canada, the most affluent of countries, operates on a depletion economy which leaves destruction in its wake. Your people are driven by a terrible sense of deficiency. When the last tree is cut, the last fish is caught, and the last river is polluted; when to breathe the air is sickening, you will realize, too late, that wealth is not in bank accounts and that you can’t eat money."
-Alanis Obomsawin, Abenaki, 1972
The reason you can't be the next J R R Tolkien isn't because you don't have the talent, but because you're not the right kind of unwell. Tolkien wasn't bent for fantasy worldbuilding; he was bent for constructed languages, and got into fantasy worldbuilding in order to provide a material context in which to ground the notional evolution of the languages he invented. If you want to be the next Tolkien, you can't start with the worldbuilding; you've gotta find something extremely specific to fixate on, and develop it in such depth that inventing a world to contain it is genuinely the most logical next step.
#the best route is clearly to get really into a specific kink scenario and invent a world to justify it (via @salix03)
That's not even a joke. Developing a kink scenario so elaborate and so excruciatingly particular that it can only properly be contemplated in the frame of a world created specifically to contain it is genuinely closer to Tolkien's actual creative process than 99% of the stuff that plays at being heir to his legacy.