the internet has ruined my life

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

Quiznos Coyote is a mood that you can feel. next time you feel it say "I feel Quiznos Coyote about this."

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

the thing about "people have talked about it you're just 21" is that it's not really "young people are stupid" it's more "if you come into an academic discussion you should know what people have said on the matter lest you talk out your ass"

im going to explode in the kiln

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been