I Don’t Even Know

"What's up, big dog; I'm ratsmacker" is going to live rent free in my head for a little while

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

i fuckign queued this and forgot abt it and got scared cuz i thought i was hacked or smth. anyways happy june eleventh

reblog while its still true 

wait one fucking second it is June 10th the time police lied to me

y'all need to watch this this pride month

Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

Today is Thursday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

It's June 5th again!

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

the cunt who makes my life decisions (me) and the idiot who has to live with them (also me) somehow have diametrically opposed world views how am i supposed to live like this