tiddy flip USA

don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

«  she should be in the club » everyone knows your late twenties are for becoming increasingly offputtingly religious

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

i literally just don’t want to watch Kung Fu Panda

Sorry to ask questions about the media that centers a character who has been persecuted for asking questions that wasn’t very blindly faithful of me

Gen Z tradcath dudes are so funny. Like bro shut up, you’re not a knight prepared to go fight a holy crusade, you’re a racist gym rat who thinks gay people going to church is “heresy”

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

like to charge, reblog to cast.

i always feel a little like a begging dog but i will not elaborate on that

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

Okay but hear me out OP, what if the button does the genie wish thing and it flips your internal experience of gender but doesn't change any of your external sex characteristics? This isn't even a gotcha, I'm just actually curious

well in that case i still end up with the "shitload of money & gender dysphoria" combo but this time obama is doing a vaginoplasty instead

#all roads lead to obama bottom surgery (via epicsause-official)