4 billion yrs until andromeda galaxy collides

really gross of me to be craving emotional intimacy of a romantic nature rn. no means to obtain it atm & prolly for awhile or ~maybe never who knows~ so like... stop lol. me @ me. i was literally fine just vibing w/ no romantic connection with anyone for basically the past 2 years so idk what happened but i’d like to downgrade to an earlier version of my operating system

maybe ill start saying things here again but this site feels so empty & i am a shell of who i once was ;-(

wow ac new horizons has the Worst fucking hourly music ?? it makes me actually angry lol i hate it so much . i would pay $100 just to be able to have the hourly music from wild world or new leaf just so i don’t have to hear the wack ass drums & bass guitar .

a birthday benzo. as a treat! to facilitate an adequate amount of sleep so i can wake up for work tomorrow and be mentally ~present~. been reflecting for the past 30 mins and idk the past year feels ambiguous. neutral. v big milestones reached ! got my graduate degree and 1st official job relating to what i wanna do and ... then it’s just routine forever and ever etc.? dont wanna implode anymore but i’m also not feeling *happiness* or *excitement* anymore. feels like i’m on a mood stabilizer cos no Low lows but no emotion reaching above “okay”. patient has flat affect

can’t wait to wake up and like... do it all over again. everyday. really psyched about that concept. i love to do it.

mmmm the benzo has landed and this nature documentary on the balkans is A+ . this is peace. wanna feel like this everyday