Paper Shield and a Wooden Sword

"I'm lying to you but this sentence is technically the truth without context" is such a good trope. Like yes the way that I am spinning these words forms a lie but if you squint I'm actually not lying.

Post TLG Shane and Ilya have to stay with Yuna and David for a few days because the repairs to the cottage weren’t finished by the time the season ended. The first night, Shane tries to initiate sex but Ilya shuts him down. Shane is worried that something is wrong but Ilya is like “You’re too loud, they’ll hear” and Shane spends the next 10 minutes trying to convince Ilya he’ll be quiet (“I’ll be quiet. I’ll suck on your fingers to keep quiet, Ilya.”). Meanwhile, down the hall, Yuna and David are having the exact same argument (“No, David. You’ve been so loud since Shane moved out. The boys will hear.” “…I can’t make noise if you sit on my face.”)

every time a website describes "appetite suppressant" as a feature of a type of food, i kill another hostage

"nuts are an appetite suppressant!" BECAUSE THEY ARE FOOD. YOU ARE LESS HUNGRY BECAUSE YOU ATE FOOD.

DISCLAIMER: if you or your selected victim have a nut allergy, consider throwing rocks instead. I love you.

Guilt-free is the most evil thing I have ever seen printed on a food label.

oh god yeah I HATE that. that should refer to things like fair trade chocolate, not “low fat”

every time one of lou’s pcs goes off alone he ends up plunging himself into some level of insanity. brennan will give him opportunities to save himself every time but will he take them? absolutely not. he’s gonna keep Digging That Hole. i love you lou wilson (actor and comedian from los angeles california) you’re perfect never change

i’m going to say something so brave and controversial on this gay sex blog and it is that the episode of New Girl where Nick and Jess get locked behind the iron curtain until they kiss but they WON’T because they are TOO IN LOVE and Nick is like ‘not like this’ and jess doesn’t know what he means and then at the very end of the episode he just GRABS her and KISSES THE SHIT OUT OF HER and then he says ‘I meant something like that’ and just WALKS OFF is one of the greatest romantic episode arcs on tv ever. fucking perfect no notes sometimes straight people do good stuff after all.

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that