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no, you suck my dick
"I'd like to relax with you, for once"
shane + a big, punched-out "yes" when ilya's cock pushes into him after shane's waited ALL DAY for it. shane + a far breathier and more overwhelmed "oh god, yes" when ilya's hips come flush with his ass, aaaaall the way in, finally finally.
idk how you might feel about it but Ilya forcing Shane into something/to do something he knows Shane will hate and being super gentle the whole time, vs Ilya being super mean everytime he knows it'll be something Shane enjoys....
This is approximately how I feel about this concept anon. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TIME TO BE ALIIIIVEEEEEπΌπͺ»πΈππΉπ΅οΈπ·πΊπ»πΌπͺ»πΈππ΅οΈπ·πΊπ»πΉπΉβ¨πΌπ»πΊπ·πΉπ΅οΈπΈπΈπΊππ»π΅οΈπ·πΌβ¨πΊπ΅οΈπΉππΊ
Love love LOOOOOVEEEE Ilya coaxing and sweetly soothing Shane through something he hates doing (but still standing firm that he has to do it) AND degrading and embarrassing Shane for his pleasure,,, HALLELUJAH πππππππ

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Your βShaneβs juniors team was anti-hazing postβ has me thinking about the pseudosexual torture he would miss out onβ¦heβd never get whacked in the face with hockey sticks heβd never have to tie and kiss his seniorβs skates he never be forcefully stripped and made fun of. Luckily Ilya will happily recreate these things for him π
This is literally why the CCM shower scene was so revolutionary for Shane,,, all his teenage locker room gang bang fantasies were coming true!!!!!! (Of course Ilya is obliged to help fulfill all of Shane's big mean bully kink fantasies~)
sadism everywhere for those with the eyes to see
shane version
Every time Ilya says something mean or condescending to Shane during the hollanoveau threesome, Cliff will instinctively coo and stroke Shane's flank and say some shit like "Aww Roz don't be so mean, he's trying so hard", talking over Shane's head like he's not even there. And Ilya will duck down to Shane's ear and say in a faux-conspiratorial whisper: "Marly is used to fucking girls with me, Shanya. He does not know what my boy likes yet. Should we show him?"
look away threesome nonbelievers but this was awesome cliff is such an ally
in the interest of fair whackings my favorite ilya flaw is his obnoxious martyr complex that is actually breathtakingly selfish and a way of avoiding intimacy to keep from getting hurt <3 there is just so much there to explore!!!
the sentence βshane obviously does not want to be in a relationship with the giving treeβ just popped into my head fully formed and of course i felt the need to share
Ilyaβs Iβd do anything for youβ and Shaneβs βI donβt want that/god are you okay?β Is so meaty to me.
It betrays such a lack of self worth but it also has him assuming negative things about Shane and how Shane perceives him. Shane doesnβt want Ilya for what he can give him and Ilya has such a difficult time internalising that it makes him resentful in his martyrdom ughhh. I love him
That one post

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thinking about vegas bathroom ilya finding out he can literally do Whatever he wants to shane . he can ghost him and be rude and mean and cold and even if shane Acts like its too far for him . He will always play ilyas game by ilyas rules . He will always try to be as good as he can . even when ilya is playing dirty... Like id freak too thats crazy
ilya Pissing shane off + humiliating him + making him cry and then giving him a little game that he can win if he follows ilyas instructions Perfectly . (he cant winnn shanes already lost + he knows that . but its still a game . he can still push himself for ilya to see!!!) . and it works.. Like ilya is a crazy motherfucker Shanes just perfect for him
You would think that a superhero character with the very straightforward guiding edict of "Taking a life is bad" would be uncontroversial. You would be wrong.
HUDSON WILLIAMS APPRECIATION WEEK
favorite look: just... THIS
I fear my visions of tormenting Luca Haas like a cat battering a mouse (psychosexual style) are only going to become more vivid and lurid in detail from here on out, folks
No but for real this could work. Yuna is happily married and despite some exploration before Shane was born it's definitely a closed marriage. She is not going to sleep with this 20 something hockey boy. She raised one of him she knows how they live. HOWEVER. The attention is fun and Yuna is pushing fifty-five--officially senior citizen status. Her son is a two-time Stanley Cup winner and her husband is an important cog in Her Majesty's Canadian Clown Show or whatever they're calling the Canadian government these days. Sue her if she gets a little bit of joy out of this one little thing that's only for her. And David knows--he's standing there watching half the time when Rozanov slinks over (Ilya is more than fine with this) so she's just gonna roll with it.
They become like. Kind of unlikely friends. Ilya is never gross and he's never really even discernably sexual with his advances. It's kind of like holding it your hand to a cat and waiting for it to come to you.
Meanwhile Shane is SEETHING. Leave my mom alone Rozanov. Stop talking to my fucking mom Rozanov. Why is Ilya fucking Rozanov sitting at our table mom. Shane is so fixated on getting Rozanov away from his mom that even he doesn't realize how sexually charged all of their interactions have become. At least not until Ilya realizes that while Yuna is clearly just enjoying watching him dance (And OH how he likes to dance for her) there is something definitely...hungry in her son's eyes.
So yeah Shane gets so jealous of his own mom that he fucks his archrival of right years. πββοΈ
YEsss YESSSSS!!!!! MY ILYA SHAMELESSLY HITTING ON YUNA AS A WAY TO FUCK WITH SHANE AGENDA IS SPREADING!!!!
You're sOooo right about Yunas mindset about the whole thing: it's never actually going to happen, obviously, but Ilya IS incredibly charming so sue her, she's having fun being charmed!!! Even better that it becomes a fun little in-joke between her and David - every time Ilya comes swaggering over, David murmurs in Yunas ear: "Uh oh, my competition is here." When Yuna has to go to some brunch benefit and she gets all dressed up, David's taking one look at her and saying all squinty eyed: "Is this for me or your boy toy?" They're both having fuuuun. And, as you said, Ilya lOoOVes hamming it up, for both of their benefits. He's happy to dance for Mrs Hollander~
You know who's NOT π« having fun? Shane. Oh my god. Shane is in a perpetual state of righteous outrage. He's heard the rumours about ROZANOV and his SICK PERVERSIONS. He can't BELIEVE his mother is INDULGING his ENEMY like this!!!! She hates Boston!!!! She's literally ENCOURAGING HIM!!!! He's going to get the wrong idea and - YES he IS being serious, MOM!!!!! Rozanov is like a SHARK!!!!
Meanwhile Ilya has an internal rolodex of "your mom" jokes running at all times, except they're just earnest compliments about Yuna he shares during face offs: "Your mom looked very pretty at the last awards show, Hollander." "Your mom should wear green more, it's a good colour on her." "Your mom is so passionate about hockey, Hollander. It's nice talking to a woman of such intelligence and class." But he says it all with the most shit eating smirk and it drives Shane BALLISTIC!!!!!!!!
But, as you said, all roads lead to Rome -> Shane DOES fuck Ilya out of some extremely bizarre oedipal-adjacent jealousy complex. All part of Ilya's master plans (or at least that's the way he tells it later. Shane is still extremely suspicious about Ilya's initial intentions towards his mother)

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And what if I wanted a Yuna POV canon divergent fic where, by virtue of being Shane's momager and shepherding him around everywhere when he enters the MLH, she keeps bumping into her son's biggest rival, because of course the two shining stars of the hockey world would be invited to the same events.
And, look. Yuna has been around hockey culture a long time. She knows why Shane begged her not to drop him off too close to the rink in juniors so his teammates wouldn't catch a glimpse of her. She knows what half the insults tossed around on the ice are about. She's not an idiot. So when this cocky upstart kid starts approaching her at these shindigs, all adolescent swagger, thinking he's soo slick and subtle with whatever kind of mind game he's obviously playing with her son, she has half a mind to cut him off before he can even work up any steam.
βAll this talk of Hollander, Hollander, Hollander but I did not know he had big sister" is the kid's opening line.
And she shouldn't laugh β that's obviously the reaction he's aiming for β but he's really selling it, is the thing; his performance deserves at least that much recognition.
βI'm his mother,β she says, playing along.
And oh, he's good β his sharp eyebrows immediately jump into his thick tangle of curls, mouth dropping open in shock that, for all intents and purposes, looks utterly sincere.
βBut this cannot be true β you are much too young to have teenager, Miss Hollander.β
And God, this kid. He really is laying it on thick. βI think you'll find I definitely am old enough β and a son your age, no lessβ that last part she says a little pointedly. She can lay it on thick, too. βAnd it's Mrs Hollander, actually.β
And Rozanov's eyes are glittering, all mischief when he says, βAh. Your husband is very lucky man," and no, that is quite enough of that.
And even though she shoos him away, he always comes to circle her skirts at every event they both attend, playing up the simpering flattery, and Yuna, despite herself, is reluctantly charmed. If this is what the kid is like at nineteen, she can't even begin to imagine him when he was younger - he must have gotten away with everything.
Honestly, she finds herself thinking, exasperated, every time she spots him approaching with that impish grin, where is this boy's mother?
And then she finds out. And suddenly, she's asking David if they can invite Rozanov out to lunch because, well, he's going to be in their son's life for a long time, it's good to build rapport with Shane's peers, even if they're competitors.
And that's how Yuna Hollander tucks Ilya Rozanov firmly under her wing long before she ever twigs that he's fucking her son on the dl.
Shane throughout this au:
Okay but seriously we need to talk about Ilya's mommy issues manifesting as various torrid affairs with much older women. He was fucking other players moms, I know he was