I'M OBSESSED

July 2015

Shane texts Brian that he had an unexpected brand opportunity come up and that he'll be out of town for a few days. Then he books it to his cottage.

It's maybe cowardly but just this once, Shane thinks he's fine being a coward. The thought of seeing Brian right now makes him feel uneasy, like being on the ice without any padding. The version of himself who thought he could love Brian again seems like a stranger to him now. Shane doesn't want to become him again but he can't trust his own judgment, so. Safer to stay away.

Being alone in the cottage helps him gain some equilibrium, even though the closer it gets to Ilya's plane touching down in Montreal, the slower time seems to pass and the more Shane feels like clawing his skin off.

He still kind of can't believe Ilya offered to come. It makes him oddly giddy thinking about it, sets off a flutter in his stomach like he's some teenager with a crush.

Rose said you should stay single, he reminds himself. But then, She doesn't know Ilya, though. She wouldn't have said that if she knew him.

God, he really is turning into a teenager.

It should feel scarier, considering his track record. Shane has no rational explanation for why it doesn't. Why, despite everything, Ilya feels so safe to him.

The day Ilya arrives in Montreal, Shane drives back home feeling miraculously calm. It's like locking in for a game, he reasons. He knows the play, knows he has teammates backing him up, so now he just has to execute it.

Shane beats Ilya to the apartment by a couple of hours. He experiences a brief moment of panic when he hears a knock on the door, a vivid imagine of Brian standing on the other side popping up in his head.

It's Ilya, of course, which does nothing to slow Shane's heart rate but does make his stomach swoop funnily.

"Hey," he says, breathless.

"Hey," Ilya replies softly. He looks a little bit shell-shocked, eyes scanning Shane's face like he can't believe he's real.

Shane wants to kiss him so bad.

But first thing's first.

@scunthotter ohhhh you get it…

Shane has his legs up to his chest, Ilya in between them and fucking into him hard and deep. Ilya’s propping himself up on one elbow, his other hand in Shane’s hair, on his cheek, caging him in.

It started out with the usual flirty banter and dirty talk, but no-one’s talking now. Neither of them know how long it’s been, but the only sound that fills the air is their desperate panting and filthy wet smack of skin on skin.

Ilya’s staring in open awe, and Shane is holding his gaze, unflinching. The exquisite drag of Ilya’s cock against his prostate and filling him up is electrifying, all consuming. Every time he clenches down, Ilya feels it, squeezing his cock until he’s sure he’s going to pass out.

Nothing compares to this. No one night stand, no bump of coke, no pay check.

They don’t usually face each other. That’s what makes this different- but neither of them want to acknowledge it. An active denial is happening with every passing moment.

It’s just the sex. They’re really good at it, and that’s why it feels like this. It has nothing to do with the way Ilya’s eyebrows pinch up like he’s in shock, like he can’t believe this is real, or how his hand comes to lay gently around Shane’s throat, possessive but also guarding- he’s holding Shane everywhere. Protecting him.

Ilya’s thrusts pick up speed and they both know it’s coming. They know each other’s tells- a silent language developed over years of scrutiny.

Shane’s so hard it hurts, and Ilya’s driving into him at the perfect angle, and he’s looking at him like he- like this means something- and before he knows it… blinding pleasure. Like nothing he’s ever felt before.

Not even the first time he came hands free.

Ilya is right there with him. the movement of his hips is stunted, his toned stomach tensing and his mouth dropping open in a sigh that turns into a drawn out moan- and he’s cumming with Shane.

They’re breathing each other’s air, swallowing each other’s moans, never breaking eye contact. It’s soul rending, and it feels like it crests and lasts forever.

But nothing does.

Ilya collapses on top of Shane, both of them utterly spent and speechless. They lay there longer than they normally might, but Ilya has an early flight, and Shane has a brand lunch, and the bubble has to burst.

Both of them are a little unsure and awkward as Ilya leaves. Both of them performing a self lobotomy with a hot poker to cauterise the wound left by whatever that was.

Basically, kidnapper au where Ilya holds Shane hostage at his own cottage. Shane is initially tied up and bound BUT he gradually gains certain "privileges" as time goes on and he behaves - bathroom, showers (all escorted and supervised), no manacles while he sleeps, longer chains so he can move around, even leisure activities later down the line. The only constant is he stays blindfolded the entire time and Ilya never speaks.

Eventually, the sensory deprivation makes Shane wholly dependent on Ilya as his sole source of companionship, specifically Ilya's touch because it's the only point of human contact he has. Shane becomes so reliant on Ilya that eventually the worst punishment Ilya can dole out is just,,, leaving him alone. Shane is always so desperately panicked when Ilya returns, so so grateful, big heaving sobs as he clings to Ilya, as he begs him not to do it ever again, he'll take any other punishment, he'd rather be beaten or starved, he'd let Ilya break his legs, burn him, choke him, anything ANYTHING but being left alone in the dark and the quiet,,,

So they're alone in Shane's house and Ilya brought a bottle of vodka he stole from Alexei (which Alexei is gonna try to kick his ass about later), because he says Shane needs to practice drinking since the last party they went to he ended up throwing up in the bushes outside.

And they're taking shots and playing video games and then at some point the computer is off and they're passing the bottle back and forth. Ilya is watching Shane's lips wrapping around the head of the bottle and noticing how red and wet they've gotten and it's giving him this funny feeling in his stomach. And he asks Shane if he's ever made out with a girl for real, like not in a game of spin the bottle, and Shane tells him to fuck off and Ilya asks again and Shane finally admits yes but he doesn't think he did it right (because it didn't feel right because he wasn't attracted to her because he's gay).

So Ilya says he can show him how to do it right. Shane tells him to fuck off again and Ilya says no really, it's no big deal, it would just be practice. Which is all the cajoling Shane needs because his desires are just a little bit stronger than his fear of those desires.

They make out and it's objectively not great. It's very wet and messy and uncoordinated because they're two drunk teenagers and Ilya may be more experienced but he's not that experienced. But they're both very into it, and Shane keeps making all these little noises that make Ilya feel dizzy and he tells himself it's just because Shane sounds a little bit like a girl.

and shane tries, he even tries to ask nicer and then ilya is humming in disapproval, touching his face and saying 'it would be nicer if u asked on your knees, yes?'

and shanes already gone, its muscle memory to get down on his knees for ilya at this point, he finds himself sinking down, tuxedo pants hitting the tile thats probably decently maintained but feels filthy to him now, because ilya said it was filthy, and thats playing in his mind and he barely manages out another plea for ilya to suck his dick, bc he was told to, and ilya laughs

'that is what you want?'

'uh, what? yes. Please.'

'you are the one on your knees, are you sure?' and ilya cups the side of his head and shane is swaying, barely succeeding in his effort to resist diving face first into ilyas crotch 'maybe you do want to suck my dick? you will still have to ask for it.'

and this position is all reflex for shane, hes salivating at the thought, fears of humiliation gone in favor of his desperate need to be good and he says 'please, rozanov? please can i suck your dick?'

Basically, kidnapper au where Ilya holds Shane hostage at his own cottage. Shane is initially tied up and bound BUT he gradually gains certain "privileges" as time goes on and he behaves - bathroom, showers (all escorted and supervised), no manacles while he sleeps, longer chains so he can move around, even leisure activities later down the line. The only constant is he stays blindfolded the entire time and Ilya never speaks.

Eventually, the sensory deprivation makes Shane wholly dependent on Ilya as his sole source of companionship, specifically Ilya's touch because it's the only point of human contact he has. Shane becomes so reliant on Ilya that eventually the worst punishment Ilya can dole out is just,,, leaving him alone. Shane is always so desperately panicked when Ilya returns, so so grateful, big heaving sobs as he clings to Ilya, as he begs him not to do it ever again, he'll take any other punishment, he'd rather be beaten or starved, he'd let Ilya break his legs, burn him, choke him, anything ANYTHING but being left alone in the dark and the quiet,,,

Basically, kidnapper au where Ilya holds Shane hostage at his own cottage. Shane is initially tied up and bound BUT he gradually gains certain "privileges" as time goes on and he behaves - bathroom, showers (all escorted and supervised), no manacles while he sleeps, longer chains so he can move around, even leisure activities later down the line. The only constant is he stays blindfolded the entire time and Ilya never speaks.

Eventually, the sensory deprivation makes Shane wholly dependent on Ilya as his sole source of companionship, specifically Ilya's touch because it's the only point of human contact he has. Shane becomes so reliant on Ilya that eventually the worst punishment Ilya can dole out is just,,, leaving him alone. Shane is always so desperately panicked when Ilya returns, so so grateful, big heaving sobs as he clings to Ilya, as he begs him not to do it ever again, he'll take any other punishment, he'd rather be beaten or starved, he'd let Ilya break his legs, burn him, choke him, anything ANYTHING but being left alone in the dark and the quiet,,,