I'M OBSESSED

Dunk is a real life Disney princess. Wdym you're locked in an underground dungeon, likely about to face your imminent death, and you're gently stroking the wet rat that has taken shelter from the rain between the bars of the one window of your cell??? Ser Duncan be my bride.

Every time Ilya says something mean or condescending to Shane during the hollanoveau threesome, Cliff will instinctively coo and stroke Shane's flank and say some shit like "Aww Roz don't be so mean, he's trying so hard", talking over Shane's head like he's not even there. And Ilya will duck down to Shane's ear and say in a faux-conspiratorial whisper: "Marly is used to fucking girls with me, Shanya. He does not know what my boy likes yet. Should we show him?"

shane + a big, punched-out "yes" when ilya's cock pushes into him after shane's waited ALL DAY for it. shane + a far breathier and more overwhelmed "oh god, yes" when ilya's hips come flush with his ass, aaaaall the way in, finally finally.

in the interest of fair whackings my favorite ilya flaw is his obnoxious martyr complex that is actually breathtakingly selfish and a way of avoiding intimacy to keep from getting hurt <3 there is just so much there to explore!!!

the sentence ‘shane obviously does not want to be in a relationship with the giving tree’ just popped into my head fully formed and of course i felt the need to share