I'M OBSESSED

auuughguhghhh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah yeah yeah and then he . licks them. like he would any of peter's holes. right? this is where we're going with this? cuz im here . i didn't know i was here but i'm here

anyway leaking web fluid doesn't taste all that different from cum and especially not when peter's making all the same noises and writhing like he's

But also he’s shredded and has a dumptruck ass and massive dick and Shane is constantly feeling like he’s found hidden treasure bc Ilya is so charismatic and charming and hot and sweetieful and mean to him just like he wants and needs.

Shane feels like fucking Pygmalion sometimes the way Ilya is so specifically purpose built to be secretly His Beauty when everyone else thinks Ilya is the Beast. His smugness is unreal.

Ilya acts the same as canon bc he has the confidence but I’m imagining Shane does have guilty fantasies about keeping Ilya all to himself. Scary dog only acting sweet for its owner type daydreams.

Oh 100%. Shane absolutely loves and hates that people don't know what a sweetheart his man is and also finds it hot as fuck when people are intimidated by Ilya.

Like, Shane has wanted to date a man since he knew being gay was something that happened in real life. But because of his repression he has taken all these cultural ideas of what makes a man a man and this is where Shane is drawing ideas from when he builds up the idea of dating a Man(tm). So imagine 17 repressed gay Shane Hollander meeting Ilya Rozanov who has the coldest fucking stare and he's smoking and he's got stubble on his chin and he's makes Shane feel like a man.

Okay but this ties in so much with the fact that I know Shane is huffing at Ilya's crotch after they work out in the home gym. Ilya wants to shower cause he's starting to feel sticky but Shane has his nose all the way up Ilya's balls and is mumbling "five more minutes baby, please 🥺" and Ilya's weak to Shane Shaning his eyes and Shane touching his dick and Shane Shaning his eyes while touching his dick.

Ilya giving Shane a task he must complete and then pretending that he didn't. I think I'd love if this was chores based, shit like "Scrub the bathroom grout with this toothbrush." And maybe Shane whines a little at first about the pointlessness of it all - "Ilya, the cleaners just came yesterday!!" - But of course he does it. And then when Shane comes out of the bathroom, exhausted and says "I'm done", all big eyes, waiting expectantly for praise, and Ilya looks up from his phone like "Hm? Done what?" And Shane's jaw drops in outrage because "You told me to clean the ensuite tiles!!" and Ilya furrows his brows all confused because "Why would I tell you to do something so silly? We just had the cleaners over yesterday, sweetheart" explaining it so slowly for him because obviously Shane needs these things spelled out for him~

STOPPPP THIS IS SO HOT. I love ilya playing mind games. I love ilya being mean. I love ilya giving shane working-dog-who-does-tasks-for-the-love-of-the-game-but-also-for-treats-(praise)-maybe-please a task and then acting like he didn't.

So delicious.

Maybe he does something similar with like, something he wants done to shane's body. some sort of grooming choice, something that's embarrassing and not easily undoable (maybe like, shaving something?) and then afterwards being like "well I don't know why you'd do that, sweetheart."

true love looks not with the eyes moment because shane has remained SO into this guy the whole time and its because ilya lights him up so completely. if ilya is the beast to shane's beauty then shane wants it made clear that ilya is SHANE'S beast and no one else's'.

i love connor's work as ilya so much but also in my mind the concept that ilya is supposed to be Just Some Guy (compared to shane's ethereal beauty which yes, racist trope) does solve some canon conundrums for me (although not the teeth thing, even ovetchkin is only missing ONE, what the fuck is ilya doing that he's somehow lost Most of his teeth) which is mostly like, ilya is a sarcastic and teasing asshole and in "canon" so to speak he doesn't have the pretty privilege of being played by connor so like of course people are interpreting him as much more overt of an asshole. he looks mean and sounds mean so he must be mean.

this also makes the nine inches thing funnier like yeah im a nine inches truther now, shane found a man who is hideous of face and absolutely huge of cock good for him. also highlights ilya's insane charisma if he's apparently ugly and yet pulling so hard during his playboy era.

ough its so compelling im compelled by it

Yes!!! @quietellen in the tags of the post I just made talks about the crunch this gives to the Why Him reactions Shane always gets. It drives Shane crazy, insane!! Because any one part of Ilya would be enough to attract Shane but Ilya really is the while package. He Shane's ideal man and its crazy to him that most people don't get it immediately.

Yesssssssssssssss. It so important like you said that Ilya is exactly the same as canon except his face.

It drives Shane fucking crazy when he grins at the camera when his snap on dentures are out and everyone is talking about insane and jacked Ilya looks and Shane is already 3 fingers deep going "my man my man my man 😍🥰🥵". There's times when he deliberately pisses Ilya off because Ilya actually looks very fucking scary when he's mad and one day Shane is gonna convince Ilya to snap when he's like that.

And like Ilya's confidence is not fake, he knows his shits busted, but he also knows he's hot shit. Why should he be humble when his dick is the best thing to ever happen to Shane Hollander and the game of hockey?