take Ilya's dick out of your mouth before you talk

shane: hey :) play better next time best buddy :)

More Ilya is a giver stuff in the link - it’s AO3

HERE

I’m just picturing Ilya being nervous to bring her up, because she’s his baby, and then discovering spaghetti and Yuna’s snakes and David’s lizards and going ‘YES MY PEOPLE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MY LOVE FOR MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS’, only to get smacked with ‘oh my god a bathtub is not a responsible enclosure, Ilya!! She is suffering!!’

Anyway, Jeff the Illegal Bathtub Lizard gets her own room at the cottage, with a massive tank. Shane and Yuna finagle a proper licence to make sure they can keep her. Connors and Marly are just relieved that the Ottawa move and Jane’s responsibility means they no longer have to worry about 3am calls to enact Jeff Protocol (wrestling with a highly deadly 3ft lizard to get her back inside the bathroom whenever she escapes).

Anya is far less enthused about Jeff TV than Spaghetti TV, because Jeff snaps at her. Ilya soothes Anya, but tells her not to provoke her older sister. Jeff really really wants to eat Anya and is frustrated at this invisible prison that contains her from her tasty snack. (Shane has made Damn Sure that thing is escape proof).