take Ilya's dick out of your mouth before you talk

sorry i cant stop thinking about it

I think for a long time Shane had a very distant, acerbic view of his own attractiveness that was all tied up with the way he engaged with his body as a tool. Like, I'm not saying he was blithely unaware of his sex appeal, I just think he categorised it as something else his body as a machine, a tool for success, was capable of and that it could be used for fiscal gain (eg: advertisements, brand endorsements, pr gigs, etc. You can't exactly be the face of a franchise if you don't have a nice face).

hyperspecific post based on The Cottage being in the location of the actual cottage rather than the canon location outside montreal: sometime post tlg ilya INSISTS on shane taking him to santa's village. the cens hear about this somehow and invite themselves along. harris manages to turn it into a pr opportunity and somehow gets them special permission to bring anya and chiron along - this is good because ilya demands a family photo of him, shane, and anya with santa. (he gives this photo to yuna and david to put next to one they have from when shane was little. this is how he learned about it). they are such menaces go-karting the poor kid working there thinks they're going to watch the end of a pro hockey player's career. they proceed to go squeeze into one of the rides only to find out that there is actually a height limit and half of them can't go. wyatt plays every single game in the arcade. they barely manage to not get kicked out after mini golf through a combination of harris's people handling skills, the team's ilya and shane handling skills, and a healthy dose of luck.

ilya rozanov be like