on the 30+ hour train ride home i decided to read a bunch of stephen king short stories i had skipped over years prior because they didn’t interest me and i read Night Flier first and that is literally a story about a detective type man hunting a crazed serial killer pilot who flies a plane directly to his victims and who thinks hes a vampire and he chases this guy across states only to find out it is an actual fucking Dracula who flies a plane and the dracula is like “fuck off and stop following me” and leaves in his plane. and that’s the story

what kills me is that the next story in the same book is about a guy who gets paid to abduct lost children and he picks up a kid who bites him and is weirdly strong and is talking about how his grandpa is gonna find them and fuck him up and lo and behold the grandpa is the same. fucking. dracula.

Just a fan of thermodynamics

the hardest thing a girl has to do is get out of his warm comfy bed in the morning

Spring.

Spring.

Spring.

Spring

Spring

Something about this is so genuine and funky. It feels so natural that if I heard the correct lyrics it wouldn't process as right in my brain. This man yelling about his green tea and watermelon sour patch kids fits so well with the live music playing in the background, the atmosphere, the whole situation. It's like some reverse slam poetry talking about how good life is and how the simple pleasures should be enjoyed. I'm in love with this tik tok.

damn bitch get it together

Good for them fuck shit up ladies

Any girls wanna get corrupted together and then have hot gay sex maybe?

Yu-Gi-Oh! Heritage Post

oh god. oh fuck. oh jesus. fucking. oh my gosh. god damn shit fuck. oh my god. dear lord satan. christ on a bicycle. shitting shit shit fuck. son of

I want it all in my mouth, I’m just imaging how amazing that texture is going to feel.

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it

and the cautionary conclusion: the media has consumed me

tumblr on goncharov (1973): i have not consumed a media and you are still going to hear about it

...How did it ever occur to someone that this was edible?...

I mean, I'm guessing some variation of "hey that tree I used as firewood sure had some good smelling smoke and made the food we cooked over it better, I wonder what else we could do with it . . . "

I mean. There’s foods out there that if you don’t cook them exactly right they will kill you. Humans have been trying absolutely everything to see what they can eat.

Humans are one of the most accomplished omnivores on the planet.

I strongly suspect that the fact that humans are just like this is a factor in why we haven't officially met any aliens. We eat things that try to kill us. We do so A Lot. I think that whatever larger alien entity is in charge of our section of space is like "yeah, we're not going to be the ones that gives those yahoos a hyperdrive. They're going to find out about the Blurpingo Empire that's been invading Sector 7 and the next week the Humans will have a chain restaurant selling Blurpingo-meat burgers. The Humans are a war crime waiting to happen, and we're not unleashing them on the galaxy. They can stay on their own little backwater mudball."

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

#awww #wholesome greek mythology #bet you’ve never seen that phrase before (via @philosopherking1887)

clearance that isn’t under like $15 is an abomination and doesn’t have the right to even call itself clearance