bramcrackers

The Christianization of Europe and the witch hunts are two completely separate things.

The witch hunts took place in the early modern period, well after Europe was Christianized.

The witch hunts were driven by conspiracy theories. It's literally a predecessor of QAnon.

Many conspiracy theories of the witch hunts were repurposed antisemitic conspiracy theories. (For example, blood libel and Satan worship.)

Lots of Christians practiced folk magic. They didn't usually call themselves witches.

Witchcraft was associated with polytheistic religions by Christians. Polytheists didn't call themselves witches. Whatever they were doing, they had their own words for it.

Modern witchcraft is a modern construct. It is not a revival of a genuine pre-Christian tradition of any kind.

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

Stuart Semple's got you covered.

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

It starts with Angel telling Cordelia and Doyle that going to Sunnydale was hard but he's okay. He knows he would be with Buffy if things were different, but they aren't and they never will be. So we have a thesis statement. "If Angel could be with Buffy, he would."

And of course Buffy shows up, rightfully pissed off that her ex is stalking her, telling her friends, telling her friends to keep things from her, grossly mischaracterizing the events in Pangs as "a fight for my life" because, honestly, Angel's presence made the sort of difference it might have if he'd phoned her to let her know something was coming. Like THIS gets a vision and not Glory? What are we even doing here, writers?

I digress.

Then, enter Mohra demon. Attack attack attack, Buffy and Angel follow into the sewers. Angel's blood mixes with the Mohra's and bing bam boom, he's human. He gets his new condition cosmically checked out, receives confirmation that it's permanent and he can do whatever the hell he wants now. And of course what he wants to do is Buffy. Which he does.

Everything is fine up until this point. Buffy and Angel have a shot at being together for real. They try to be logical about it, but decide logic's for the birds (and I'm not even sure why they tried, honestly, because this is literal miracle territory) and now they can be together in earnest.

Then Doyle gets a vision and comes to Angel, who, knowing how badly he traumatized Buffy in Innocence, decides to let her wake up in his bed alone AGAIN. Buffy has had sex three times now; Angel knows the last encounter wasn't a good one because Spike showed up and told him. Despite this, despite having intentionally caused the most pain he could the first time he and Buffy had sex, he lets her AGAIN wake up alone.

At which point the episode introduces a new thesis: "Buffy, you can't have Angel and save the world." This line is delivered by Cordelia, who reluctantly tells Buffy that Angel went after the Mohra demon on his own.

The problem with this statement is it's just a statement. There is no supporting evidence. The episode tries to tell us there is, but this evidence is entirely predicated on Angel being a fucking moron. Doyle had a vision; Angel had a choice. He could've woken Buffy up and said hey, thing to kill, but he said some schmoopy line and left her (AGAIN KNOWING HOW TRAUMATIC WAKING UP ALONE IS FOR HER), to fight something he had no hope of beating on his own. Buffy rushes in and saves the day and the episode tells us that her weak spot for Angel is what is going to get her killed. Well thank god Angel's the only person in the world she cares about and would risk her life for. Thank god her mom has never been put in danger, or she's never had to rescue Angel before (except those times she has), or that her friends haven't been used as leverage against her. Thank god Buffy is the sort of person who would happily let anyone BUT Angel die except OH WAIT THAT TIME SHE WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM TO SAVE THE WORLD.

Angel sees this as irrefutable evidence that he will get Buffy killed, something the Oracles indicate is on the horizon. Whereas before this episode, Buffy had famously been staring down a long, safe, happy, threat-free life, suddenly because of one complication THAT ALREADY EXISTS IN HER WORLD, she's going to be put in more danger.

After a long, painful conversation with Buffy in which they discuss all options, including that Angel just NOT DO WHAT HE DID the next time there's danger, they mutally decide that the best thing Angel can do is become a vampire again.

Oh wait, no, that's not what happens. Angel gets an owie and decides on his own that he needs to be a vampire again. Clearly the only option in a world where demon hunters exist and he's given it his all (read: tried once and failed) to acclimate to humanity. He cuts Buffy out of the decision entirely, comes back just in time to tell her that he's again made a unilateral decision that affects her and gaslight her into thinking it's for the best. And this is what kills me: He could've gone back, enjoyed some ice cream with her, cuddled, said everything was going to be okay, told her he loved her, and let her have a few happy minutes, but instead he ensures she knows and spends those last minutes together sobbing and breaking in his arms, just the way he loves Buffy best. Yeah, it's great dramatic television, but there is no way it makes Angel a good guy.

And don't come at me with "he knew it was the last few minutes with her and couldn't keep his emotions in check." This is Angel. ANGEL. Mr. Notoriously Does Not Emote. Something both shows call out regularly. Even more specifically, we know he is skilled at keeping his feelings masked from Buffy, because SHE'S TOLD US A BAJILLION TIMES AND LITERALLY TRIED TO READ HIS MIND ONCE TO GET AROUND THIS. So if you expect me to believe Angel can't keep it together for a final few minutes to give the woman he claims to love a perfect end to a perfect day, then you don't know the character.

Circling back to "you can't have Angel and save the world" -- the thesis that Cordelia introduces with zero supporting evidence. The episode is designed to make us believe it proves this thesis. It does not, because Buffy Summers is Buffy Summers. She who will risk her life for anyone she loves, not just who she loves the most. We've watched 3 seasons of her doing this, making the hard calls, taking on unspeakable pain to spare the world tragedy, or her friends discomfort. There is literally no reason why Angel being human should make Buffy any more vulnerable than she already is, and this is further undermined by the insistence that Buffy's connections are actually what keep her alive. Make her a different, remarkable slayer. Make it so she lives as long as she does. "A slayer with family and friends," Spike says in School Hard. "That wasn't in the brochure." So we're expected to take at face value that Angel being human would upset this so much it'd undo all of that? That Buffy is so weak and fragile she'd let Angel get her killed more than she'd let anyone else get her killed?

Sorry. No. I do not buy it. Angel makes the decision because Angel has Main Character syndrome and won't be satisfied unless he's fighting.

And you know what? That's fine! A decision he is more than allowed to make on his own. He can have ambitions outside of Buffy. He can decide he'd rather have the ability to fight evil than a life with the woman he loves. What he cannot do (and what the show endorses), is let Buffy believe that if things could be different, he would choose her the way she would choose him. That he made the decision for HER when she had no say in the matter.

He could have chosen a quiet life. Chosen to be supportive. Chosen to relearn how to fight as a human. Chosen to become a part of the Scooby gang. Chosen to find another way to be useful, be strong, fight. He could have chosen that, and he didn't. Instead, he lets her leave LA believing the original thesis (if things were different they would be together) hasn't just been disproven. He lets her take the belief that what she needs is a normal guy back to Sunnydale with her, where she throws herself into a relationship with a normal guy who turns out to be exactly what Human Angel was. He doesn't tell her the truth. He lets her believe a lie, because if she knew the truth, she might actually get to move on. And we all know how much Angel doesn't want that in practice, just theory.

This is not a romantic episode. It's manipulative, gaslighty, agency-stripping, and if it happened within my ship, I'd be furious. Especially since the reason cited for Angel's decision (more bad is coming and Buffy will die) goes completely unacknowledged by Angel moving forward. And guess what. She does die. Angel's being a vampire has zero impact on her world, 'cause Angel? He didn't do anything to prevent it. Didn't even let her know it was on the horizon. Actually took off in Forever when she was at her weakest and needed help the most, still without letting her know any of this. Without staying to help her. But then, he had to go wash the Darla stink off, after having just tried to fuck his soul away, so maybe he was distracted.