I finished putting together my Buffy tarot deck! I am so fucking excited to share it with you!
I encourage you to use my deck as a starting point for your own. You do not have to credit me when using, adapting, or sharing this deck. I just want you to have what you need to print your own <3
All of the files for this deck (font files, Photoshop files, etc.) are in the Google Drive folder linked below. Check out the READ ME FIRST file for instructions, suggestions, and the card guidebook I wrote, which tells you what each card means and why that particular Buffy character, episode, or imagery was used.
Let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or comments! Enjoy!
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This is probably a little too much nuance, but whenever I see a "all borders are violence" post (a political position I generally agree with!) I always add a little asterisk that says "*but the border checks that keep you from bringing homegrown produce into big agricultural areas to avoid the transmission of parasites and invasive species are actually fine and if we were more vigilant about that kind of thing maybe we wouldn't have spotted lanternflies in the states."
Happy Pride Month everyone! Remember 4 months ago when the CEO of this platform harassed and chased a trans woman off this website just for posting her transition timeline, then chased her to other social media platforms to continue harassing her, and threatened to call the FBI if she continued disputing the multiple dubious terminations of her blogs that did not violate tumblr's terms of service in any way? And despite tumblr staff insisting that the CEO was acting against their interests, the broad transmisogyny evident in the site's culture and moderation policy has still not been adequately addressed?
Remember that staff is continuing to nuke the blogs of trans women even after all of this. Remember this post when they call this site the queerest place on the internet again this month
The Christianization of Europe and the witch hunts are two completely separate things.
The witch hunts took place in the early modern period, well after Europe was Christianized.
The witch hunts were driven by conspiracy theories. It's literally a predecessor of QAnon.
Many conspiracy theories of the witch hunts were repurposed antisemitic conspiracy theories. (For example, blood libel and Satan worship.)
Lots of Christians practiced folk magic. They didn't usually call themselves witches.
Witchcraft was associated with polytheistic religions by Christians. Polytheists didn't call themselves witches. Whatever they were doing, they had their own words for it.
Modern witchcraft is a modern construct. It is not a revival of a genuine pre-Christian tradition of any kind.
Modern witchcraft cannot be "colonized" because it's literally a modern creation made by white people. However, modern witches are capable of doing colonialism, such as when they promote pseudohistory about other cultures.
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
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I fucking hate this website because not only did I click this goddamn link expecting it to be a joke of some sort, but it wasn’t a joke and I sat here spinning the screen around enjoying myself in a stupid bag of cornflakes like the dumbass monkey I am on Tumblr.com, enthralled by being in a bag of corn flakes in
every day it just concerns me how little compassion people have. no compassion for those living in the global south. no compassion for immigrants. no compassion for disabled ppl. no compassion for addicts. no compassion for prisoners. no compassion for children. like holy shit ...
i made a separate post about this but actually there are plenty of people cough white people who care about animals more than they ever do human people . not what i'm talking about make your own post
I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.
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I do genuinely always think about the opening scene of the social network being Jessie Eisenberg as Mark Zuckerberg being openly rude, disrespectful, smarmy and misogynistic to Rooney Mara's character and she responds with the now iconic line that he will very probably be very successful and will go through life thinking that people don't like him because he's a nerd but actually people don't like him because he's an asshole and that this interaction is how the movie is framed and even bookended, with Mark in the final scene trying to request her as a friend on Facebook but she as far as we know doesn't accept. And everything in the movie only serves to prove her right, that he is successful and smart but ultimately an asshole who built his success on comparing women to farm animals out of spite for her. This is literally the opening sequence of the film, the main interaction it's framed around and it baffles me that there are people who view The Social Network (2010) as some kind of lionisation of Facebook's creation, and not one of the most prescient cautionary tales about misogyny and technocracy of our time. To this day, the only thing Zuckerberg actually disputes about the film is that actually he married a woman he met in college. Nothing else. He disputes nothing else. No movie has aged better than The Social Network (2010) and I do actually sincerely wish that wasn't the case.
I'm a tumblr token straight man and I'm not really into shipping. I don't really ever read non-canonical romantic subtext into things, be it a gay ship or straight ship. I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the first time and didn't see any subtext between Buffy and Faith. Between that time and my first rewatch of Buffy I joined tumblr and saw a lot of Buffy posts and found out how much people shipped them. I then rewatched Buffy and when I got to the scene where Faith forehead kisses Buffy and even I was like "OK in hindsight, I may be stupid".
Also when I got the idea to make this post I couldn't remember if Faith forehead kissed Buffy or Buffy forehead kissed Faith at which I point I looked it up and found out that Faith forehead kissed Buffy first and Buffy forehead kissed Faith back when she was in a coma several episodes later at which point I was like "OK in hindsight, I may be even stupider"
I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:
He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.
Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.
Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.
When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.
Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.
Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.
As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.
His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."
Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.
Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.
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I honestly cannot fathom the amount of cope it takes to view I Will Remember You as romantic.
It starts with Angel telling Cordelia and Doyle that going to Sunnydale was hard but he's okay. He knows he would be with Buffy if things were different, but they aren't and they never will be. So we have a thesis statement. "If Angel could be with Buffy, he would."
And of course Buffy shows up, rightfully pissed off that her ex is stalking her, telling her friends, telling her friends to keep things from her, grossly mischaracterizing the events in Pangs as "a fight for my life" because, honestly, Angel's presence made the sort of difference it might have if he'd phoned her to let her know something was coming. Like THIS gets a vision and not Glory? What are we even doing here, writers?
I digress.
Then, enter Mohra demon. Attack attack attack, Buffy and Angel follow into the sewers. Angel's blood mixes with the Mohra's and bing bam boom, he's human. He gets his new condition cosmically checked out, receives confirmation that it's permanent and he can do whatever the hell he wants now. And of course what he wants to do is Buffy. Which he does.
Everything is fine up until this point. Buffy and Angel have a shot at being together for real. They try to be logical about it, but decide logic's for the birds (and I'm not even sure why they tried, honestly, because this is literal miracle territory) and now they can be together in earnest.
Then Doyle gets a vision and comes to Angel, who, knowing how badly he traumatized Buffy in Innocence, decides to let her wake up in his bed alone AGAIN. Buffy has had sex three times now; Angel knows the last encounter wasn't a good one because Spike showed up and told him. Despite this, despite having intentionally caused the most pain he could the first time he and Buffy had sex, he lets her AGAIN wake up alone.
At which point the episode introduces a new thesis: "Buffy, you can't have Angel and save the world." This line is delivered by Cordelia, who reluctantly tells Buffy that Angel went after the Mohra demon on his own.
The problem with this statement is it's just a statement. There is no supporting evidence. The episode tries to tell us there is, but this evidence is entirely predicated on Angel being a fucking moron. Doyle had a vision; Angel had a choice. He could've woken Buffy up and said hey, thing to kill, but he said some schmoopy line and left her (AGAIN KNOWING HOW TRAUMATIC WAKING UP ALONE IS FOR HER), to fight something he had no hope of beating on his own. Buffy rushes in and saves the day and the episode tells us that her weak spot for Angel is what is going to get her killed. Well thank god Angel's the only person in the world she cares about and would risk her life for. Thank god her mom has never been put in danger, or she's never had to rescue Angel before (except those times she has), or that her friends haven't been used as leverage against her. Thank god Buffy is the sort of person who would happily let anyone BUT Angel die except OH WAIT THAT TIME SHE WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM TO SAVE THE WORLD.
Angel sees this as irrefutable evidence that he will get Buffy killed, something the Oracles indicate is on the horizon. Whereas before this episode, Buffy had famously been staring down a long, safe, happy, threat-free life, suddenly because of one complication THAT ALREADY EXISTS IN HER WORLD, she's going to be put in more danger.
After a long, painful conversation with Buffy in which they discuss all options, including that Angel just NOT DO WHAT HE DID the next time there's danger, they mutally decide that the best thing Angel can do is become a vampire again.
Oh wait, no, that's not what happens. Angel gets an owie and decides on his own that he needs to be a vampire again. Clearly the only option in a world where demon hunters exist and he's given it his all (read: tried once and failed) to acclimate to humanity. He cuts Buffy out of the decision entirely, comes back just in time to tell her that he's again made a unilateral decision that affects her and gaslight her into thinking it's for the best.
And this is what kills me: He could've gone back, enjoyed some ice cream with her, cuddled, said everything was going to be okay, told her he loved her, and let her have a few happy minutes, but instead he ensures she knows and spends those last minutes together sobbing and breaking in his arms, just the way he loves Buffy best. Yeah, it's great dramatic television, but there is no way it makes Angel a good guy.
And don't come at me with "he knew it was the last few minutes with her and couldn't keep his emotions in check." This is Angel. ANGEL. Mr. Notoriously Does Not Emote. Something both shows call out regularly. Even more specifically, we know he is skilled at keeping his feelings masked from Buffy, because SHE'S TOLD US A BAJILLION TIMES AND LITERALLY TRIED TO READ HIS MIND ONCE TO GET AROUND THIS. So if you expect me to believe Angel can't keep it together for a final few minutes to give the woman he claims to love a perfect end to a perfect day, then you don't know the character.
Circling back to "you can't have Angel and save the world" -- the thesis that Cordelia introduces with zero supporting evidence. The episode is designed to make us believe it proves this thesis. It does not, because Buffy Summers is Buffy Summers. She who will risk her life for anyone she loves, not just who she loves the most. We've watched 3 seasons of her doing this, making the hard calls, taking on unspeakable pain to spare the world tragedy, or her friends discomfort. There is literally no reason why Angel being human should make Buffy any more vulnerable than she already is, and this is further undermined by the insistence that Buffy's connections are actually what keep her alive. Make her a different, remarkable slayer. Make it so she lives as long as she does. "A slayer with family and friends," Spike says in School Hard. "That wasn't in the brochure." So we're expected to take at face value that Angel being human would upset this so much it'd undo all of that? That Buffy is so weak and fragile she'd let Angel get her killed more than she'd let anyone else get her killed?
Sorry. No. I do not buy it. Angel makes the decision because Angel has Main Character syndrome and won't be satisfied unless he's fighting.
And you know what? That's fine! A decision he is more than allowed to make on his own. He can have ambitions outside of Buffy. He can decide he'd rather have the ability to fight evil than a life with the woman he loves. What he cannot do (and what the show endorses), is let Buffy believe that if things could be different, he would choose her the way she would choose him. That he made the decision for HER when she had no say in the matter.
He could have chosen a quiet life. Chosen to be supportive. Chosen to relearn how to fight as a human. Chosen to become a part of the Scooby gang. Chosen to find another way to be useful, be strong, fight. He could have chosen that, and he didn't. Instead, he lets her leave LA believing the original thesis (if things were different they would be together) hasn't just been disproven. He lets her take the belief that what she needs is a normal guy back to Sunnydale with her, where she throws herself into a relationship with a normal guy who turns out to be exactly what Human Angel was. He doesn't tell her the truth. He lets her believe a lie, because if she knew the truth, she might actually get to move on. And we all know how much Angel doesn't want that in practice, just theory.
This is not a romantic episode. It's manipulative, gaslighty, agency-stripping, and if it happened within my ship, I'd be furious. Especially since the reason cited for Angel's decision (more bad is coming and Buffy will die) goes completely unacknowledged by Angel moving forward. And guess what. She does die. Angel's being a vampire has zero impact on her world, 'cause Angel? He didn't do anything to prevent it. Didn't even let her know it was on the horizon. Actually took off in Forever when she was at her weakest and needed help the most, still without letting her know any of this. Without staying to help her. But then, he had to go wash the Darla stink off, after having just tried to fuck his soul away, so maybe he was distracted.
Honestly, the fact that they try to sell this garbage as peak romance is insulting.
yeah u freaks up north look and sound exactly like this when u pretend that us southern queers are perfectly complicit in our own eradication - for the heinous crime of not living in a liberal population center.