Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

2013-2016 Hyundai Genesis Coupe

and every time we kiss I swear I could fly

on twitter this got a bunch of responses like “wow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?” and like well no obviously not in that case.

“shoutout to everybody from new jersey!” “even the new jersey serial killers…?”

i firmly believe alexis is an the eliot spender for saving women who are being sex trafficked. she got her f class license. she saved women from being kidnapped. she saved herself. and what, her family just thinks her stories are quirky. i love you alexis. you should have had your own show

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown

BREAKFAST

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.