literally anything entertaining my monkey-brain

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

in 3 days pjackk will return from the dead to usher in a new era for mankind. #disciple

okay hes actually just really dead #sorry

sorry i meant 3 months #disciple

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

this is not a place of honor

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

I got hired to do a stand-up comedy set at the trope villain convention. It was a great gig. Really appreciative crowd. They were absolutely cackling the whole time. It was a little weird at the end though when all of them stood up and started clapping very slowly, before saying, in unison, "Well done, my friend. Well done."

One of them said he really liked how relatable my comedy was. Apparently it made him feel like we're not so different, he and I.

In an effort to make society more egalitarian they're not incarcerating me in a penthouse the way they would've a decade or so ago. But I still get my loyal fans to sneak me the privileges I am entitled to. The hose the screws are spraying me with? Gamer girl bath water

okay. listen. I try not to be pedantic about this sort of thing but it’s starting to get on my nerves. the wire mother offers milk but not comfort. the cloth mother offers comfort but not milk. if something is comforting, fun, or otherwise compelling, but lacks substance, that is the cloth mother. if something is boring or unpleasant but has substance, that is the wire mother.

things are heating up in the unethical experiments fandom

actually physically painful to watch because you know months were spent masking all those frames for each of the kajillions of transitions in this

Holy………..shmokes…….

Oh?? My god??

I’ll try my best to describe this. It’s a video with a mash-up of a bunch of different Disney movies, set to a song that’s a mash-up of a bunch of other songs. That in and of itself wouldn’t make it praiseworthy, but this is DONE SO WELL that just, holy cow.

HOLY SHIT

sometimes I wanna reply “bitch me too” to my mutuals posts but I’ve never talked 2 them so they might not see it as friendly joking so i just dont

reblog if it’s okay to say “bitch me too” to you if you’re mutuals

It’s okay to say ‘bitch me too’ even if I’ve never seen you before in my life dude

Not the town's name

That's the town name

She is going to hit that Christian baby for a home run.

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

its cool how every language has wordplay.... we created language like ok step 1) convey info so we can stay alive 2) get silly with it

official linguistics post

HOOoWoW!!

Bald white bitch (affectionate)

Video description: A tiktok by @MyBonesAreLegos. A Black person with shoulder length braids stands in a parking lot and says, in a peppy tone, “Has this ever happened to you?” A white person walks up and says, “Whoa, what the fuck?” the ‘Whoa’ is drawn out. They begin playing with the first person’s hair. The scene cuts to the first person standing alone again, saying, “Then you need bald white bitch.” They show a photograph on their phone of a white person with closely buzzed hair. “Check this out!” The next scene is a POV shot from the second person, panning up from their outstretched hand to show the first person and the Bald White Bitch standing together. The hand reaches for the first person with a drawn out and cartoonish “Hwow!” before switching to the Bald White Bitch and playing with their hair instead. “Problem solved. Bald White bitch saves the day yet again.” End ID.

Someone should make a disco elysium spiritual successor that takes place in a maze and follows a protagonist who has to eat all the dots in the maze whilst avoiding several ghosts

you can actually homebrew this in d&d 5e

For those of you with android devices, you can use the Android Debug Bridge (ADB) standalone app control program to get rid of all the bloatware, data mining, and AI crap - no coding needed!

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