he didnt want soup >:(

cannibal chappell roan: you can put a hundred boys in jars

vehicular manslaughter chappell roan: you can hit a hundred boys with cars

medieval torturer chappell roan: you can coat a hundred boys in tar

There’s a cool trick you can do where you pour a shot and then add an expired antidepressant to it and it gets you super fucked up so you can save money when you go out for the night. In other news I just discovered that if you ask any man at a goth rave if you can bite him he will say yes. He thinks he’s getting laid but you can just bite him super hard and walk away. Life is full of beautiful moments

It’s the end of the night, I’m coming down, I’m awaiting my uber after a wild and fabulous party. Then there, right outside the club, I see her. A beautiful goth woman. Dyed hair. Black lace outfit. Stunningly beautiful. She unlocked something from the bike rack, and I witnessed this beautiful goth girl unicycle away. Do not take me to Heaven, I’m already there

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

having a crush is so embarrassing like. you got me pregnant. with feelings. just by hanging out. Are you going to take responsibility for our child.

competitive pokemon is so whimsical to me . the cotton baby is tickling and complimenting the giant bird to make it stronger? and thats Meta? splendid

competitive pokemon is what people who dont know what fantasy football is would assume fantasy football is just from the name

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

needless to say I am hopelessly dependent on The Character