he didnt want soup >:(

Like what if it actually is poppin at the Farg tonight

Me at the golf course fucking the wholes

do you ever see someone get so far into fanon of their favorite character that they forget the core conceit of that character

cats are small, simple, radially symmetrical creatures with no skeleton or brain. they survive off of whatever detritus happens to find its way to them, typically chunks of plastic and a bowl of wet food.

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

a lot of people dont care about insect biomass collapse bc when they hear we are losing 2.5% of the insect biomass per year they just imagine the cockroach and housefly population decreasing by that much. they dont realize those are among the only ones that will remain unbothered

you can make a little oasis right where you are, and it matters

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

this says a lot about Society

A lot of internet-famous people--guy who can pick any lock, guy who can make anything out of chocolate, guy who can drink lots of water without spilling a drop--are like characters a five-year-old would make up for a comic book.

In early agrarian cultures the "riverdale blogger" was a sort of seer/jester figure who would educate and entertain the actual workers who farmed the land, inspiring them with stories of Archie Andrews, his abs and the situations he would end up in.

outfits for immanentizing the eschaton

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature