he didnt want soup >:(

hit her gpt-spot by accident and she started saying we weren't just having sex, we were teaching a masterclass on pleasure

Love when you try to take a screenshot but fuck up the timing of the volume down lock button combo and are left sitting there with slightly softer music and a black screen and you just have to sit there looking at your reflection on the locked phone and contemplate your failure for a bit

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

I think more non binary characters should be fat

fat and black and brown 👍🏾

heartwarming: transfem named mary sue and transmasc named gary stu have had a beautiful nonbinary baby named donut steel

Normally I just ignore yaoi from fandoms I'm not in but when Spirk crosses my dash I always take a moment to appreciate it out of respect for our founding fujoshis

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

you're stuck in second person but you actually kinda like it here

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

currently liking the character so much that all I can do is pace around my darkened house saying "they make me die"

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business