They just invented the worldâs fastest sandwich. Theyâre calling it the autobáhn mì
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@zerogravitykitty
They just invented the worldâs fastest sandwich. Theyâre calling it the autobáhn mì

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The Germans really cooked making "Hobbyless behaviour" an insult. It is both devastating, applicable to a wide range of people and behaviours, and doesn't resort to swearing.
Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.
It is more powerful than "get a life" or the English "You're Sad" because it gets to the central point of the matter, and that is wonderful. Danke, Deutsch.
this is crazy iâm going crazy over this
God puts his strongest soldiers in Dachgeschosswohnungen ð¥
I-I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about this
My roommate just called from the kitchen to ask what was wrong because I laughed so hard I gave myself a coughing fit.
I'm so glad the music is what I thought it'd be.
I love that the nature of humanity is to repeat itself

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before cooking an egg, do you poke a little hole into the shell?
no, why would I?
No. (I know the reason people do it but I don't do it.)
yes, obviously??
Yes (I don't really know why, though)
other/press button!/don't like eggs/vegan/slurp my eggs raw/vanilla extract/tags
Before I⊠crack them open?
....before you put them in here:
the water cup even comes with a little needle at the bottom for hole-poking purposes, see:
sorry i meant boil not cook
WHAT IS THAT
It's an egg cooker!
It's like a toaster and an electric kettle had a baby and ...the baby boils eggs.
#is this specifically a German thing#because Germans tend to have Opinions about eggs#also the only people I know who actually know how to use an egg cup are German#teach me your ways - I still donât understand why youâd use an egg cup. and I canât imagine boiling eggs not in a pot on the stove
no egg cup:
egg cup:
#why is the wobble an issue you pick them up one at a time shell then and eat them like not whole but just#you hold them and bite them and eat then till there's none left? why does this need extra tools
...at this point i'm sorry to introduce...the egg spoon.
Even better news about German egg related gadgets⊠the Eierköpfer (it also has a super long German name), for when you need a guillotine to open your egg neatly
No offence to Germany but why are you guys so fucking insane
nothing to see here. Just normal feelings about egg.
The guillotine device from a couple of reblogs above is der Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher
das Ei (pl. die Eier) = egg
die Schale = shell
sollen = to be supposed to
der Bruch = crack, fracture
die Stelle = site, place, location
die Bruchstelle = site of fracture
die Sollbruchstelle = predetermined breaking point
verursachen = to cause
-er =suffix to turn a verb into a noun (genus m)
der Verursacher = causative agent
der Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher = device to cause a predetermined breaking line around the perimeter at the top of a boiled egg so it can be opened neatly
Also: EierwÀrmer, egg warmers to keep the eggs warm during a long Sunday breakfast. They are often handmade and knitted or crocheted in a decorative shape, but they can also be bought. Popular as a gift for Easter.
...I never considered that we might be the only ones doing this
wdym thats only grrman i dont believe this we are not the autistic egg country all yhat is NORMAL and NESSECARY and good brrakfast eggs are DIVINE
Extremely German egg eating
why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable
Broken notes⊠deactivated account⊠removed imageâŠ.
Finally, we have them all.
In addition: OPâs name is just⊠gone. No â[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]â as is the standard for deactivated blogs.
Just the world âdeactivated.â Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.
Itâll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.
my jaw hit the floor
excuse the fuck out of whoever this is
the gnarliest, dirtiest shredding with that fucking casio keyboard metronome beat I canât stand it
bitches will swear to not be THAT german and then run to the ice cream shop as soon as it's like 10°C and the tiniest bit sunny. To get a lecker spaghetti ice cream and complain about the prices.
I AM BITCHES 1,90⬠FOR A KUGEL HABN DIE DEN ARSCH OFFEN??
I don't know who the fuck censored "hell" in that last image, but it sure as shit wasn't me. What is this, 3rd grade internet?

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Wir stecken da alle zusammen drin
Are you German?
Are you German?
Yes
No

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the death of media literacy genuinely pains me.
Nosferatu (2024) not only can be, but SHOULD BE interpreted as being about many different topics at the same time, including but not limited to: romance, love, abuse, grooming, incest, mental illness, disability, chronic illness, eroticism, disgust, sensuality, queerness, capitalism, class, misogyny, white fears of the Middle East, pandemics, greed, lust, kink, fate, self-determination of destiny, god and faith, sacrifice, higher purpose, etc etc etc.
Nuance exists, and it especially exists in art, and it ESPECIALLY exists in gothic horror. I am begging you people to stop seeing everything so goddamn black and white.
Iâll write a longer post when Iâm more awake but for now let me just say, I am frustrated and angry and canât wait to see the movie again today lmao.
bunnies in chinese hanfu from various dynasties by 添添Emily