xxmaddixx

Audio:

Shoto: “All we did was cause problems!”

Katsuki: “I didn’t!”

Izuku: “You sure about that?!”

Please they’re so funny 😭

✧ Broken ribs suck. You don’t just “walk it off.” Breathing hurts. Laughing hurts. Existing hurts. Characters with rib injuries won’t be doing heroic sprints.

✧ Concussions aren’t instant naps. Dazed vision, nausea, dizziness, maybe even personality changes, but they’re not going to collapse neatly like in the movies.

✧ Blood loss is sneaky. It’s not just about dramatic pools of blood. It’s dizziness, confusion, and the body getting cold as circulation tanks.

✧ Adrenaline lies. Someone can take a serious injury and not feel it until the fight’s over. That “I didn’t realize I was bleeding until later” trope? Very real.

✧ Twisted ankles are brutal. One bad step and suddenly running is off the table. Even walking hurts like hell. Perfect way to ground a chase scene.

✧ Burns linger. Even small burns hurt more than most people expect. Blisters, infection risk, constant pain, it’s not just a cool scar later.

✧ Dislocated shoulders = useless arm. Characters can’t keep swinging a sword or firing a gun. They’re basically fighting one-armed until it’s fixed.

✧ Shock is a thing. Pale skin, trembling, rapid heartbeat, and eventually disorientation. A character might not even realize how bad their wound is.

✧ Stitches aren’t magic. Getting sewn up is painful and recovery takes time. They’re not instantly battle-ready after a needle and thread.

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

Clark’s introducing her around.  “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”

You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.

Bruce does not handle heat well. This man dresses head to toe in black, he may break out the summer grey if he so feels inclined, but he BOILS in the heat, god forbid he goes in the sun he will shrivel up like a vampire

Dick loves the heat, to him it’s an excuse to get ice cream and go swimming, unfortunately he’s stuck working and is SUFFERING, all the fancy flips are making it impossible to stay at a survivable temperature, he’s the first to pass out from heat stroke

Babs has the pleasure of her job being mobile so she’s by the side of Bruce’s pool telling everyone what to do as she relaxes, everyone is jealous

Cass is fine with heat, but she keeps getting sunburned so she’s abusing her ability to stick to the shadows extra hard and nobody can find her (she’s off getting sorbet for her and Steph)

Jason keeps thinking about Ethiopia in the heat so he just hops on his bike and leaves to some place cooler until it’s over, he sends the family groups chat pictures of snowmen to mock them

Tim is a born and bred gothamite, he hasn’t seen the sun in years and he doesn’t plan to, he’s in the cave with 8 fans pointed at him and no plans to leave until the sun disappears again

Steph is ok with the heat, however, all Gotham buildings are made to keep heat in and do fuck all to keep it out so even stepping inside is awful, she’s abusing her car ac and carrying around about 12 ice packs and a cooler

Duke loves the sun, let him photosynthesis for a bit, but not even him is fully enjoying the heat, his costume is too hot to be throwing himself around in broad daylight no matter how nice it is

Damian “grew up in the desert” Wayne is fine. He has his sunglasses and is painting while everyone else complains, he spends a lot of time worrying about his pets though, he bought all of them personal fans and has been feeding them ice cubes

Maps is mostly complaining her school doesn’t have air conditioning, she thinks it’s stupid a building people are mandated to be in is without ac, let along open, bruce’ll fix it when he stops melting though

Okay classmates lets kill an octopus capable of Mach 20

Also THANKS FOR THE TAG :3

@mikasaackerman728 @axylcalcorcipher @20thcenturytroodon @anincarnationofchaos @angeljackt + open!

The New Testament is playing out

two gay fish boys located in italy.

is that anything

*heavy rain downpour*

Damian: -my point is, gothamites are completely delusional when it comes to their pride in being from Gotham. you weirdos are way too smug about being from this shithole of a city and it comes off like that arrogant family with no shame that thought being from the south effected their personality.

Dick, confused: ...arrogant family from the south?

Jason: no shame-? do you fucking mean the family from the TV show Shameless? set on the south side of Chigaco?

Damian: yes.

Dick: *wheeze* arrogant family with no shame from the south-!

Jason: who the fuck let this child watch Shameless!? that show is so inappropriate! Robin, what the fuck?!

Damian, dry: Red Robin watches it while i'm in the room. and how can watching anything on that ridiculous television show be worse than what i witness on a nightly basis as Robin?

*pause*

Jason: ...alright fine but i'm still pissed at Red. that fucker's supposed to be a responsible uncle to you.

Dick: did you just say 'uncle'?

Jason, cutting him off: fucking- *frustrated* OK. i cannot see in this fuckass rain, i swear to god i'm going to install a windshield wiper onto the front of this helmet.

Damian: *hum* yes, Nightwing and I have been ducked under a restaurant overhang for the past ten minutes waiting for the worst to subside. a waiter brought us a bread basket.

*water splashing*

Jason: see, Batman didn't offer any of us any fucking consolation bread. he just looked at the weather report and went 'huh, neat, how about that', and then pointed us in the direction of our suits and fucked off to go do his indoor stakeout.

Damian, mournfully: i wish i was as pathetic as Red Robin. then maybe i could break a leg every now and then and get out of patrolling in bad weather...

Dick: are we not going to go back to Hood calling Red Robin your-

Jason: *yelp* *harsh smack* *metal clang* FUCK.

*a beat, Jason groaning lowly*

Damian, solemnly: man down.

Jason: this fucking rain makes these stupid fucking fire escapes so FUCKING slippery,

Dick: are you hurt? do you need us to come help with anything?

Damian: Nightwing, i understand you care for your brother, but please do not make me go back out into the wet to help him. i have a backup dad, it's fine if we lose this one to the elements.

Jason: ok seriously fuck you Damian-,

Dick, exasperated: -wHAT DO YOU MEAN, BACKUP DAD? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Jason, dead serious: kid let me tell you, if he snitches to B about this, i will kill myself in front of you.

Dick: ok- one, you two really need to stop talking about us all like we aren't in front of you when we are. two; how dare you. i have never snitched to B on anything in my life. that's the first rule in the batkid code and i wrote that damn manual.

*a beat of quiet*

*pattering of rain*

Damian: *loud crunch of a breadstick*

Jason: alright. at least i'm already laying down for it.

Damian, judgemental: you haven't gotten up yet-?

Dick: what is it?

Damian: ...the Red Hood is my Father.

*a beat*

Dick: aha, no.

Jason: *snort* *airily* ah, the first stage of grief.

Dick: you two lie all the time, this is just sloppy. plus, you've already lied to B about being Robin's dad, so. you can't recycle old shit.

Jason: mhm, mhm, mhm, and i usually would agree with you wing-ding m'boy, i would... except i never lied about being Robin's father. i just lied about sleeping with Talia to freak B out and piss her off.

Damian: yes... and while that was a lie, the fact that Hood is of biological paternal relation to me is entirely truthful. that's why Batman's blood tests came up as positive. they both, technically, are direct ancestors to me and thus contributory to my development.

Jason: you know you don't have to use that many scientific words, you can just say you have my eyes.

Damian: it is the result of the biological experimentation that occurred around my birth and throughout my early childhood, Nightwing. we are not lying.

*silence*

*more silence*

Damian: Hood. he's just staring at me. what do i do.

Jason, whining: man, we should have waited until later when we met up, i wanted to see this!

*distant mew*

Jason: oh fuck, a cat. *cat impression* mrow,

Dick: you... Robin... *stage-whispering, audibly tearful* are you- are you saying you're my biological nephew?

Damian: w-

*abrupt pause*

Damian: um.

Damian: i mean- i mean no,

Jason, baffled: -dude you know me and you aren't related, right?

Dick: so you- so you have two dads?! Batman and Red Hood?!

Damian: yes. and please keep saying that exact sentence in public because the misleading wording will no doubt lead to some wonderful civilian speculation.

Jason: hold on- no, no no NO, no public anything--B still doesn't know and he will continue to not know, because i am not fucking dealing with that man attempting to co-parent with me. i'll stick with being the undercover secret dad that acts like a brother 90% of the time, thank you very much.

*silence*

Damian: he is still staring at me.

Dick, whispering: i'm just- oh my god you're my baby brother and my nephew. oh my god.

Damian: you understand this changes nothing about our relationship in any way, right?

Dick: can i be godfather?

Damian: what.

Jason: mmm, i think you have to arm wrestle Tim for it? i dunno, i haven't put anything about it in my will yet.

Damian: what- Hood!

Jason: hey, if i die i need to know that i'm not leaving you with just B, habibi. i need to have a backup secret-dad in place for you.

Damian: what is wrong with this family-

Dick, in awe: i have a nephew.

*faint bell chime, door swinging*

*inaudible mumbles*

Damian: oh, thank you. yes, the bread is delicious.

*more mumbles, slightly hesitant*

Damian: ...no, Nightwing is fine. i can assure you,

*more mumbles*

Damian: ...because he just remembered he's gluten free. actually- do you have an epipen?

Jason: *abrupt cackle*

Dick, snapping back to himself and dropping his voice by at least three octaves: Robin- stop trying to stab me with random needles.

Damian, defensive: it is a proven method of snapping somebody out of shock!

Dick: just because- *voice lowering, furious whispering* just because you're Hood's son doesn't mean you have to act like him!

Jason, observationally: i raised that boy so well.

*distant meow*

rules: color the sentence that's true about you

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

this is a whole lot of yellow lmfao

I BE DOIN SHIT I GUESS

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes ( if i’m at home )/ i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read(armeen…) / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

i'm over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don't often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multi-task / i've never dated anyone / i have a best friend i've known for over five years / i am an only child

i'm over 5'5 / i wear glasses (sometimes??) or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don't often smile (i don’t like my smile) / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multi-task / i've never dated anyone / i am an only child /

I'm over 5'5 / i wear glasses (sometimes) or contacts / I have blonde hair / I often wear sweathshirts / i prefer loose to tight clothing / I have one or two piercing / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don't often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / I've never dated anyone / i have a best friend I've known for over 5 years / i am an only child

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,