✨existential dread✨

You and Ahsoka are dressed like slaves for the Zygerrian queen, Miraj Scintel. She was known to be ruthless so Anakin and Obi-Wan made sure the two of you looked the part. You thought you and Ahsoka looked well enough. When Anakin and Obi-Wan stepped out of the bunk room on the ship, you and Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh. They looked ridiculous and out of place. But when Rex stepped out, your jaw practically dropped to the floor.

“You have a bit of drool, there.” Ahsoka teases you, quietly.

You nudge her away, playfully and try to look anywhere but at Rex. He was in a black tunic lined with gold with a tight fitted golden long sleeve tunic underneath. What you couldn’t stop staring at was the golden band around his bicep that showed just how toned his arms were. Looks like all that training paid off.

You had never seen his arms without his armor before and you weren’t even aware that arms were a thing for you until Rex walked out of that bunk room looking like a god. They weren’t bare but they still looked so good… so strong. He looked so good with that gold plate around his chest and the gold belt around his waist. You wanted to watch him step out of those tight fitting black pants so badly.

“You may wanna pick your jaw up off the floor before you catch bugs.” Anakin whispers in your ear.

“Ugh.” You shove him away.

You would have to try to be a bit more inconspicuous. As if to possibly torture you some more, Rex walks over to you by the ramp.

“I look ridiculous, don’t I?” He jokes about himself.

You feel yourself turn red. “Way better than Obi-Wan and Anakin, for sure.”

“You’re too kind.” He smiles, taking off his golden headdress. “I hate this thing. It’s so heavy for no reason.”

“Heavier than your helmet?” You ask.

“Heavier than my helmet and my armor combined.” He nods. “Without my armor, I feel so exposed.”

“Well, don’t worry, we have your back.” You assure him.

You wanted so badly to reach out and stroke his arm. But that would definitely be weird. You’ve never touched him before, so why would you now?

You can’t stop looking at that golden band, though.

“You wanna touch it?” Rex asks you.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts. “Excuse me?”

“You keep looking at the golden band around my arm. I see you touch things a lot. I thought maybe you just wanted to touch it.” He explains.

He notices you. He notices when you stop to feel certain textures of things, either enjoying the way they feel under your fingers or not.

Rex is giving you a reason to touch him right now. You’d be foolish to not take him up on his offer. When would you ever get a reason or chance to touch him again. At least without his armor, that is.

You nod and reach your fingers out to the golden band around his arm. It’s cool to the touch and textured with Zygerrian glyphs. You loved it. It felt so interesting.

You look up at him, only a couple inches away from him. He’s smiling down at you and you feel yourself burn hot underneath that golden stare. He really did look like a god.

You couldn’t help but want to touch him more. You test the limit and wrap your hand around the band, sliding your hand down the rest of his arm, stopping at his elbow. Rex sighs under your touch. Your eyes never leave his. He glances down at your lips and he places his hand over your hand. His hands are warm and calloused but still feel good on yours. Normally, you’re not a fan of calluses, not enjoying the feel of coarse things. You tighten your grip on his arm, smiling softly up at him.

You hear Ahsoka clear her throat. “Obi-Wan is coming.”

You reluctantly separate from Rex. You hope the look you’re giving him clearly says “Please let me touch you more later, I never want to stop.” But he’s still smiling at you as he puts his headdress back on.

Hours Later, you find yourself and Ahsoka captured, hanging in a cage overlooking Zygerria. Ahsoka is just sitting there meditating. Meanwhile, you’re laying on your back, looking up at the sky, trying not to look down due to your fear of heights.

“We’re gonna die.” You mumble.

“We are not going to die.” Ahsoka assures you with closed eyes. “Could you please be a little more positive?”

“I’m positive we’re gonna die.” You grumble.

This was the worst possible way for you to go out. You should have known going with this group was going to get you killed one day. They should have just sent Kix in your place. That would have been a better choice. Kix was better under pressure anyway.

Ahsoka ignores your comment and keeps meditating. All of a sudden, you hear noises coming toward you from up above. You look up in time to see Rex and Anakin are above you, lifting the crate back up onto the platform.

“Thank the Maker.” You sigh, wrapping your arms around Rex.

He wraps his arms around your torso and sighs into your touch. You could tell just from the way he embraced you, he had been worried about you too. When you pull away from each other, Anakin and Ahsoka are looking at you both, smirking.

“What, do you want a hug too?” You ask Anakin, snarkily.

“No, I’m good.” He laughs.

“That’s what I thought.” You roll your eyes.

“Ahsoka, get back on the ship and wait for us there. Rex and I are going to find Obi-Wan.” Anakin commands her, starting to run off.

You look at Rex and he gives you a certain look. You don’t know what it is, but you want to lean into him and kiss him so badly. But he squeezes your hand once before jogging to keep up with Anakin.

“Come on.” Ahsoka pulls you in the direction of stairs to get down off the top of this building.

All you can think about is Rex and if he’d return to you in one piece. If he did this time, you’d finally kiss him. Obi-Wan and the Jedi be damned. You weren’t a Jedi. Surely, their rules about relationships, especially with clones, didn’t apply to you, right?

Once you finally get back to the ship, you try to sit but you become anxious and start pacing back and forth in the bunk room. You eventually grow tired and decide to lay down for a few minutes.

When you wake, you find someone sitting on the edge of your bunk. You look up to see Rex smiling down at you, a little beaten up. You sit up immediately, throwing your arms around him.

“Thank the Maker you’re alright. I was so wor-” He cuts you off by crushing his lips to yours.

You immediately sigh, melting into him. Finally. This is exactly what you’d been dreaming of for almost two years now. His lips felt wonderful against yours, so soft and warm. Like they were made to be paired against your lips.

When he pulls away, he’s grinning at you so happily, he looks like he might burst with joy.

“It’s about time.” You run your fingers over the golden chest plate and look up into those perfect golden brown eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m so late.” He kisses you again.

You pull him down on top of you. “Better late than never.”

He kisses your neck and you gasp at the feeling. You hadn’t expected his lips to be this soft when you dreamt of kissing him. You never wanted him to stop. Except he does stop… to take off his chest plate. And the rest of his clothes.

“Did you lock the door?” You ask.

He nods and sheds the last of his clothes, standing before you completely naked. He was beautiful and still looked like a god. You wanted so badly to worship him, to get on your knees and please him in the way he deserves.

“Your turn.” He smirks.

You feel yourself turn red and he pulls you to your feet.

“Don’t get shy on me now, cyar’ika.” He tips your chin up so that you look up at him. “May I?”

You nod. “Please.”

He leans down and lifts the dress up over your head and then helps you with your underwear after you kick your shoes to the side. He doesn’t stand back up, though. He’s looking up at you with an unreadable expression and then suddenly licks a stripe up your slit. You can’t help the low moan you emit.

“Do it again.” You sigh in a begging manor.

“With pleasure.” He murmurs, licking another stripe up your slit and then settling on your clit, sucking at it gently.

Your legs already feel wobbly, but you know Rex has a good hold on the back of your thighs and won’t let you fall. You grab his head for support and throw your head back, moaning as quietly as you can so that the three Jedi on the ship can’t hear you. You loved the feeling of his blond hair.

He adds a finger into your hole and that's when your legs start to really buck and you feel like you might actually fall.

He backs you up to the bed as if reading your thoughts, and you fall down smoothly, guided by his hands. You lay back and he continues fucking his fingers into your tight hole. Not letting up, he adds a second digit and you feel the edge coming closer and closer.

“Rex… I’m gonna…” You struggle for words.

“Let go, cyare.” He murmurs, continuing until you're shaking around him, unable to hold your orgasm back any longer.

He pulls his fingers out and comes up beside you, kissing you deeply, pulling your limp body to his.

“I always knew you’d be quite the giver.” You tease.

“I like to take, too.” He smirks.

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “Oh really? What do you want to take?”

“Whatever you’ll give me.” He answers with ease.

“I’ll give it all to you.” You promise, sliding over his body so that you’re on top of him.

“Maker, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He looks up at you.

“Funny. I was just thinking that same thing about you.” You tell him. “You looked like a god in that outfit. And you still look like one without it. When we get back, promise me you’ll let me worship you properly.”

“I can’t believe you think I’m worthy enough.” He blushes.

You hum and lick a stripe up his chest and his grip on your hips tighten. You lean back a bit to line him up with your entrance, sliding down easily on his length from how wet you are. You both groan loudly, unable to help it.

“Maker, you feel so good.” He grips you even tighter.

You know you’re going to be bruised but you don’t care. You’ll look at the bruises and be reminded of him… of being his. You start circling your hips to get a bit of friction going, leaning over him. He catches one of your nipples in his mouth and you hum in pleasure. He moves his hands to your ass to help bounce you up and down on his length.

“Kriff, I love you.” He groans as if he couldn’t hold it back anymore.

You stop moving. “Really?”

He looks up at you above him. “Really. You’re so kind and beautiful. I can’t look away from you anytime you’re near. You being around definitely makes my job more dangerous. I’d do anything to protect you.”

You lean down and kiss him. “I love you too, Rex.”

He flips you over so that you’re on your back and he lifts your hips so that he can start thrusting deeply into you. You run your hands over his smooth shoulders. His skin feels so good underneath your fingertips, you never want to stop touching him. You place a palm over where his heart is and he places his hand over your hand.

“It’s yours.” He promises.

If you weren’t being fucked within an inch of your life, you might actually cry at the sweet gesture.

He removes his hand and rubs circles over your clit while still hitting that deep spot inside of you and your vision starts to blur, threatening to send you over the cliff.

“Come for me, mesh’la.” He begs.

You’re more than happy to comply, your orgasm taking over and making you shake all over again, trying so hard to not be loud. The motion on his cock starts to send him over his but he stops to ask you where he should let his release go.

“In me, Rex. Please.” You beg.

He groans immediately, letting go and filling you up. You clench around him and it over-stimulates him, making him rest his head in the crook of your neck, moaning softly.

“You said I’m the god but I’d gladly worship you.” He whispers in your ear.

When he pulls out of you, it’s only because you hear the pilot announce over the comm that you’d be coming out of hyperspace soon. He gets up and puts his regular armor back on, helping you find your regular clothes in the process.

“Promise we can do that again tonight?” He asks. “I’m off duty. Plus, I’d love to hear how loud you actually can be when we don’t have Jedi watching over our shoulders.”

“I’d love nothing more.” You grin.

Your home planet got hit hard early in the war. Due to its location near four major hyperspace lanes, both sides of the war needed to control it, and that came at the expense of its inhabitants. Many people lost their lives in the brutal battle, both civilians and clones. There wasn’t much left of your home afterwards, most inhabitants of the city displaced. 

So you decided to leave and join the GAR as a medic. You already had the experience, and after doing everything you could to help during the invasion, you had decided to put your life plans on hold and join the army. 

Your ability to keep calm under extreme duress had impressed your instructors during your training, and so they had given you the title of combat medic, and sent you off with the 501st Legion. You had practically been thrown right into the field, not that you had expected much less. 

Kix, the clone medic you served under, had given you a brief tour and rundown on the way to provide reinforcements to the 104th. He had warned you that the area they were landing in was going to be hot, and to expect to jump in right away. 

You had expected nothing less, having already seen just how ugly the front lines can be. 

That’s where you are now, treating troopers practically as they fall. 

“The Captain’s down!” 

The words ring loud and clear through your comm, the energy of the entire battalion shifting. You have yet to meet any of the clone commanders, much less the Captain of the 501st. You had been thrown into this rather rapidly. There would be a time for introductions later. 

Your name is called through the comms, Kix appearing with another trooper, dragging who you assumed was the Captain between them. They lay him on the ground, the other trooper running back into the heat of the battle. 

“We need to stabilize him before we can move him.” Kix says, kneeling next to the Captain. 

You kneel on his other side, taking a look at him. His entire right shoulder piece is missing, an ugly wound oozing blood. It’s a nasty shot, but he’s lucky it’s not on the left. 

“Bacta.” Kix says and you hand off an injector from your belt. 

You move to take off his helmet, your breath catching in your throat. Your eyes are drawn to his helmet, above his visor. The marking on it. You knew most of the clones used some sort of marking to distinguish themselves. Whether it be on their armor, or tattoos, or hairstyles, they all had unique aspects about them to give them individuality. 

This one, though. This one is startling to you. 

Most species in the galaxy experience the phenomenon of soulmates. There are a number that don’t, but they are vastly outnumbered by those that do. 

How one is linked to their soulmate can vary. Yours just happens to be the identifying mark. A symbol or even a phrase that means something to your other half. Or, for the lucky few, an entire name. Most got them at birth, or some shortly after. Rarely were there huge gaps in age between soulmates. Given the vast dichotomy of species in the galaxy, fate wasn’t that unkind. 

Well, most liked to think it wasn’t. 

Your mark showed up eleven years ago. You had already been well into your childhood when you woke up one morning to find a symbol on your chest. You’d never seen anything like it before. After some extensive research, you came to learn they’re called  jaig eyes, a symbol used by Mandalorians for distinguished warriors. A symbol of bravery, tattooed over your heart in blue.

You had thought your soulmate might be Mandalorian, and so you had spent years planning and working towards a trip to Mandalore. 

Then the war started, and your planet was invaded.

The entire situation had left such an impact on you, you decided to push your dreams of Mandalore, and your soulmate, aside for the time being. If fate had paired you together, you would meet eventually. 

You hadn’t expected this though. 

Your hands are shaking just a bit as you grab his helmet, pulling it off. You support his neck, easing his head to lie in the dirt. His face is pinched as Kix ties a tourniquet around his shoulder. 

“I’m fine.” He grunts out, nose scrunching in pain. 

“The gaping hole in your shoulder says otherwise.” Kix says, injecting the shot of bacta into the wound. 

You grimace a bit, knowing how much that hurts. Your own fingers pull down his blacks, exposing enough of his neck to administer a stim shot. You can see as it begins to kick in, numbing the pain and giving him a boost of energy. His face begins to soften, body relaxing a bit. 

Kix calls for an evac, two troopers easing the Captain onto a stretcher before removing him from the heat of the battle. You clear your head, moving on to the next injured trooper. The battle isn’t over. You have a lot more work to do before you can think about this new development. 

****

You wipe your brow, body starting to drag as the adrenaline crashes. The battle had ended, but your job was only getting started. There was still a field of injured troopers that needed care, as well as a full med bay. 

“I’m impressed.” Kix says, finishing applying the bacta patch on the final trooper that needed care. “Not many nat-borns can keep going that long after being in the field.” 

You shrug. “It’s not my first time on the battlefield. My home planet was one of the first invaded by the Separatists. Most of it was wiped out by the battles. I learned very quickly to stay busy. If you’re not doing anything, you remember you’re human and you crack.” 

Kix puts a hand on your shoulder. “Go get some rest. We’ll be fine here.” 

“Thank you, sir.” You nod, heading off to the bunks. 

You hop in the refresher, wishing it was real water, but the sonic shower will do. You don’t let it hit you until you crawl into your bunk, letting the day wash over you finally. You’re shaking, silent tears rolling down your cheeks. You’d mastered the quiet cry a long time ago, not wanting to disturb your fellow medics getting some much needed rest.

You’re exhausted, but you’ve seen far too much today to let yourself rest just yet. 

You need to work through it. If you bottle it up, you’ll only explode later. 

You close your eyes, the image of the jaig eyes coming to the front of your brain. There was no mistaking it. It wasn’t the confusion of battle, or the stress making you see things. The Captain of the 501st has jaig eyes on his helmet, in the same shade of blue as the ones printed on your chest, right over your heart. 

This is going to complicate things. 

It was one of the first things you were taught in your training. Under no circumstances were clones allowed to initiate their soulmate links. If, by chance, one of them happened to be your soulmate, the link had to be rejected. If a clone was found to have iniated the link, they would be decommisioned immediately. 

It’s cruel, but you can understand why. 

The soulmate link is a powerful motivator. The clones were designed to be loyal, focused, and dedicated to fighting and winning the war. Many of the first generation of clones had deserted upon learning of their soulmate marks. It seemed even the most potent conditioning couldn’t overcome the yearning of ones soul to find its other half. 

Even the most loyal clone would turn their back upon meeting the soulmate. 

The thought of being rejected is terrifying. It’s a painful process for both involved. Some who have experienced it claim it feels like your body is being turned inside out, every cell on fire as your soul destroys the link. You remember every second of it, the horrible pain and the grief that settles in as you realize you’ll never be able to feel the same again. 

You’ll never be the same again. 

You can’t tell the Captain. He can never know. You can’t stand the thought of being rejected. Though the pain would ease with time, you’ll never forget it. You’d rather suffer through the pain of being so close but never initiating than feel the rejection of someone who may never have wanted to reject you. 

****

Time flies quickly now that you’ve established yourself amongst the 501st. The Legion is constantly on the move, burning through battle after battle with little rest in between. According to Kix this is very common, with the Legion going sometimes weeks without a break. You know it can’t be good for them, recognizing the exhaustion on many of the trooper’s faces and in their body language. 

You’re beginning to feel it too, tension knotting in your shoulders and the quality of your sleep has been declining. You know it’s not just the stress of constant adrenaline and work, though. Constantly being within close proximity of your soulmate and doing absolutely nothing about it has been wearing on you as well. You’ve spoken maybe ten words to each other when Kix had introduced you to the Captain after the first battle when you’d helped care for him. 

Since then, you’d only seen him in passing. 

It’s slowly driving you insane. 

You’ve grown close to some of the troopers, especially those that frequented the med bay for “unjustified reasons” as Kix liked to call it. It was his code for “they did something stupid and now we have to fix them.” 

You can’t really blame them for being a bit reckless sometimes. They deserved to have some fun every once in a while. 

“There’s my favorite medic!” A heavy arm slings around your shoulder, nearly making your knees buckle. You’d been in one of the storage areas, cataloging everything the med bay needed to stock up on once you landed on Coruscant. “Excited about shore leave?” Fives asks. 

“Actually I am.” You say, honestly. You had planned to book a hotel room and sleep off the stress. You hope the distance from your soulmate will help ease the tension that’s been building. 

“A bunch of us are gonna hit 79s. You should come with us.” Echo says, popping up on the other side of you. You had been wondering where he was, as the two were rarely far from each other. 

It’s a tempting offer. Losing yourself in a bar for a night might help ease the stress. Unless Captain Rex planned on being there too. 

“I don’t know...” You say, chewing your lip. “I was planning on just relaxing.” 

“Come on,” Fives squeezes you against his side. “It’s your first shore leave. Let us show you how we celebrate.” 

You almost say no, but perhaps spending time around others will help you feel better. Even if Captain Rex is there, alcohol can help you forget. Perhaps you could even find someone else, someone to help you forget. 

“Fine.” You sigh, but a smile tugs at your lips. “I’ll come with you.” 

They both cheer, giving you breath-stealing pats on the back. Sometimes they forget they have to be gentler with non-clones. 

“Meet you on the landing platform at 19:00 hours.” Five says. 

You salute him jokingly, making your way to the med bay with a smile on your face. 

***

You’re glad you thought to pack a dress for occasions like this. You’re also glad you packed a dress that covers your chest. The last thing you need is any of them seeing it. Would they report you? Would they tell the Captain? You’d like to think they wouldn’t. It’s not like you’d even been trying to talk to the Captain. 

You check yourself in the mirror, making sure your mark is covered before you make your way out of the venator. As promised, a small group of guys is waiting on the landing pad, some of them having dressed down while others are still in their armor. 

Fives whistles lowly as you approach, your cheeks warming a bit. “Looking good, civvy.” 

“I mean, I know you’re a looker but kriff, you clean up well.” Jesse says, nonchalantly giving you a once over. 

Your face feels hot with their attention and compliments, not used to being on the receiving end. “Thanks, guys.” 

“Come on,” Fives tosses an arm across your shoulders. “Let’s get going!” 

***

You feel warm, slightly buzzed as you make your way back towards the bunks. It’s late...or early depending on how you look at it. You’d had a good time with the guys. You’d danced and drank and laughed a lot. It was a good distraction, and it helped you decompress a bit. You’re exhausted, though, still ready to sleep the rest of shore leave away before you inevitably get thrown into another battle. 

It’s the alcohol that’s dulled your senses a bit, not even noticing the person rapidly approaching behind you until they’ve spun you around, pressing you back into the wall. 

“Fives!” You blink in shock up at Fives, his brow furrowed as he stares down at you. “W-What are you doing?” 

Your heart is racing as his hand lifts towards your dress, all the worst possible things flashing through your head. He’s a flirt, but you’d never thought he’d go this far. Your buzzed brain has just got it in you to call out for help when his hand tugs the neck of your dress to the side, revealing the mark on your chest. 

“I knew it.” He says, letting your dress fall back into place. 

“How did you-” 

“I glimpsed it while we were dancing.” He says simply. “I had to be sure.” 

You step away from the wall, adjusting your dress. “Well you could have just asked instead of giving me a heart attack.” 

“Sorry.” He says, actually managing to look guilty. “Why haven’t you said anything?” 

“I don’t want to get rejected.” You say. “I’d rather live with the pain of him being close than live with the pain of rejection.” 

Fives snorts. “He won’t reject you.” 

You blink up at him. “What?” 

A grin tugs at Fives’ lips. “He won’t reject you. Most of us don’t agree with the rule against soulmates, and we don’t plan on following it. Rex may be a Captain, but he’s not going to reject you just because he’s supposed to. If we followed the rules as rigidly as we’re supposed to, most of us would be dead already.” He puts a hand on your shoulder. “Talk to him. You never know when it might be too late.” 

***

Despite Fives’ admission to their willingness to bend the rules, you haven’t approached the Captain. Partly because you’re still afraid, and also partly because you haven’t had time. After the brief shore-leave, the Legion had been thrown into a long campaign that had been taking its toll. Many, many troopers were injured, and you barely got time to sleep, let alone do anything else. 

Like approaching the Captain about your soulmate mark.  

After two long weeks of grueling battles, it’s finally over. Well, at least the fighting. You still have an overflowing med bay to get through. 

Hours later, most of the troopers have been stabilized and on their way to healing. Kix sends you away, practically ordering you to bed. You don’t argue, your feet already dragging as you leave the med bay. You need a long cry and a nap, ready to crash. 

You hadn’t meant it literally, but it seemed fate was getting tired of your avoidance. 

You walk straight into a hard chest, nearly falling backwards. Hands steady you, and you look up right into the eyes of Captain Rex. 

“S-Sorry Captain.” You stutter, taking a step back. “I-I wasn’t paying attention.” 

“It’s alright.” He says, still holding your gaze. “I know you’ve been overwhelmed in the med bay recently. You’re all working hard.” 

You nod. “Yeah.” You continue to stare at him, the words bubbling out of you before you can stop them. “I need to speak with you. Alone.” 

He blinks in surprise. “Oh. Is there...something wrong? Is it one of the troopers?” 

You shake your head. “No, no. It’s...” You almost backtrack. You almost change your mind, but those soft brown eyes draw you in. “It’s personal.” 

He hesitantly leads you into one of the many storage rooms, making sure it’s empty. You hope no one walks in. You’re already nervous about bringing this up to the Captain. You’d rather not have to try and explain this to someone else. 

You turn to face him as the door slides shut, looking up into his eyes again. His face is drawn and focused, and you almost feel bad for throwing this on him. 

“I think you’re my soulmate.” You blurt out, wanting to get it all out in the open. 

His eyes widen in surprise. “What?” 

You bite your lip, stripping off your gear enough that you can lower the neckline of your shirt a bit. You draw it down, revealing the mark on your skin. “It appeared almost eleven years ago.” 

He steps closer, staring hard at the mark. His hand lifts, his gloved fingers tracing over the lines of the jaig eyes. “The medic’s symbol.” He says, eyes still staring at the mark on your chest. “My mark, it’s the medic’s symbol.” 

You let out a long breath. Fate really does plan out everything perfectly. 

His hand leaves your chest, lifting to cup your chin. You step closer to him, your chests almost touching. How desperately you want to kiss him, to initiate the bond. You’re not even sure that’s what he wants. 

“I think I’ve known since Kix introduced us.” He says, his hand still holding your chin.

“I knew the moment I saw you on the battlefield, when you got shot.” You say. 

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” He asks. 

“I didn’t want to get rejected.” You admit. “I-I thought...but then Fives said-” 

“Fives knows?” He asks. 

You nod. “He saw the mark when we went out to 79s last shore leave.” 

His grip tightens just a bit on your chin, jealousy flashing in his eyes. 

“Nothing happened.” You quickly add, realizing your words left a little too much unsaid. “We just danced, and he confronted me after about it. He said you clones aren’t quite as uptight when it comes to rules as everyone thinks.” 

The side of his mouth lifts in a smirk. “Not in this Legion at least. I do wish you’d said something sooner, but I understand if you didn’t know...I’m not going to reject you.” He holds you still for a moment before dropping his hand. “The General is being called back to Coruscant, so we’ll get a short leave once we return. Two hours after we land, come to the barracks. I’ll make sure they’re empty.” 

Your stomach squirms with excitement. Even if you do nothing but sit and talk, the prospect of being close to your soulmate has your body coming alive. You nod, hardly able to contain yourself. 

You don’t feel quite so tired anymore as you make your way to your own barracks. 

***

The two hours after landing seems to take a lifetime. Your eyes flash to the chronometer constantly. The first half hour hadn’t been so dreadful, as you had spent most of that helping move still recovering troopers, and loading up carts to pick up supplies. 

Then you’d found yourself with nothing to do but wait, so you had returned to your barracks to wait out the hour and a half before you’d make your way to the clone barracks. You’d considered dressing up, but you thought that might draw too much attention. Wearing light gear could at least give you an excuse for being there, should anyone ask. 

You head out ten minutes before, knowing it will take you that long to get across the ship. The trooper’s bunked on the opposite side of the ship from the medics, who were close to the med bay. 

Your stomach flutters with nerves and excitement the entire way. You’d thought about this moment for a long time, though it’s not quite playing out like you had expected. You’re not complaining, though. You’re lucky to have someone as loyal and caring as the Captain for your soulmate. 

You make it to the barracks, Captain Rex waiting outside the door. He’s removed his armor, wearing only the blacks underneath. You greet him with a smile, and he returns it. You like it, you realize, seeing him smile. 

He leads you inside, this set of barracks smaller than the others. It’s specially set up, he tells you, for the more higher ranking clones. The Captain, the ARC troopers, and those on his specialized squad. 

He leads you to the bed closest to the fresher, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t really plan anything. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing something you don’t want.” 

You put a hand on his arm. “I figured we’d just let things happen naturally. Even if all we do is sit and talk, that’s fine with me.” 

He smiles down at you. “Then let’s talk.” 

And so you do. 

You tell him everything. From your earliest memories to getting your mark, to the devastation of your planet during the start of the war. You tell him about how you’d planned to visit Mandalore in hopes of finding your soulmate, and how you’d given up that dream to join the GAR. 

He tells you everything about himself too. Growing up too fast on Kamino, the endless training, being called to the front when the war started, how he was there on your home planet when it was attacked, all the men he’s lost, the stress of the war. They’d been designed to be more resilient to high stress situations, but the grief of loss and the exhaustion still weighs on him. 

You wrap your arms around him before you even think about it. You feel for him, you really do. As much as they’re supposed to be just numbers in an army fighting a war they didn’t even volunteer to be a part of, you know they’re more than that.

“That’s why most of us don’t follow the rule about soulmates.” He says, his arms wrapped around you. “We have to believe there’s something beyond war and loss.” 

“I’m glad you don’t agree with it.” You say, resting your head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I could have given you up.” 

His hand slides up your back, moving to rest between your shoulder blades. “I...don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” 

“I don’t think anyone does.” You say, and you mean it. “I think most of it is just supposed to...be natural. It’s supposed to feel right.” 

He pulls away from you, looking down at you. Your faces are inches apart, breath mingling. This close you can see the lines on his face, the light scattering of freckles on his nose and cheeks. 

“You’re kinda beautiful.” You say, staring at him. 

“I think I’m the one that’s supposed to say that.” He says, leaning in closer. “You’re the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Your cheeks heat up, a goofy smile tugging at your lips. “Stop. I am not.” 

He cups your face, his gloved thumb tracing your cheek. “Of course you are. You were made for me, after all.” 

Your lips meet, a spark shooting through you. You feel warm and light, pure energy racing through your nerves. His grip tightens on you, pulling you closer against him. He's warm and solid, like a cabin during an ice storm. 

He groans quietly against your lips, pulling you into his lap. You settle against him, tilting your head as the kiss deepens. You hadn't really planned on going this far, but you now understand why people say once you meet your soulmate, it's uncontrollable. 

He pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours. "I don't want to feel like I'm rushing you."

You smile. "I want this too. I don't think I could stop."

He wraps his arms around your waist, flipping you easily onto your back. "Good. I don't think I can either." 

He presses his lips back against yours, slotting his body against you. He's all lean muscle, fitting perfectly against you. He presses even closer, something hard poking against your thigh. 

You smile into the kiss, shifting your hips slightly to create some friction. You're already damp, your body well prepared for this moment. It had been building up for weeks. You can tell now, how much you'd been yearning for him, even if you hadn't noticed before. 

His lips trail down your jaw, charting a path down your throat. You arch into him, fingers digging into his broad shoulders. You tug at his blacks, one of his hands reaching back to pull the top off over his head. 

You run your fingers down his chest, feeling over every bump and scar. 

“I’ll tell you about them later.” He says, tucking his face back into your neck. You have a few too he’ll want to know about. “Right now, I want to see you.” 

You smirk up at him. “Then you best get to work, Captain.” 

He matches your smirk, sitting up on his heels. “That’s brave, issuing orders to your commanding officer.” 

“Well, in certain situations, I outrank you.” You reply. 

He unbuckles your med kit, setting it on the floor. “Don’t tell me Kix has been putting ideas in your head.” His hands slip under your shirt, trailing along your skin. “I’ll make a pass, though. This is one situation where I don't mind being told what to do.” 

You gape up at him for a moment. “Do you...like being told what to do, Captain?” 

He pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it onto the floor. Your breastband quickly follows, heat blossoming across your neck and chest as he stares at you. You feel a bit self-conscious under the intensity of his gaze. “Only if it’s you.” He says. “You’re so beautiful.” 

You smile shyly, reaching out for him. “Not quite as beautiful as you.” 

“Definitely more beautiful than me.” He says, leaning into your touch. 

“I’ve been waiting so long for you.” You say, caressing his face. 

“Then I won’t make you wait any longer.” He presses a kiss to your lips before sitting back up, undoing his belt. He slips his pants off, tugging yours off as well. 

You should feel self conscious being bare in front of him, especially only knowing him for a short time, but it feels natural. You know it’s natural. You were meant to be together. 

He slots his body against yours once more, his hard length pressing up against your core. You’re already wet in anticipation, more than ready to seal your bond completely. It’s a bit strange after having thought you might get rejected if you ever revealed it to him, but you’re glad he’s at least willing to break the rules about this. 

His hips grind against yours, dragging his length against your folds. You moan, spreading your legs further for him. You want him as close as possible. You need to have him as close as possible. 

“You’re so wet for me.” He groans, dragging his hips against yours. 

“I need you.” You whimper, arms wrapping around him. “Kriff, please Rex.” 

“Yes ma’am.” He says, kissing your throat before he reaches down, lining himself up. 

Hearing him say it stirs something in you, heat rushing straight between your legs. You slot that away for later, focusing instead on him as he slowly presses into you. The stretch burns a bit, but he goes slow, moving inch by inch until he’s seated inside you. You shiver at the close contact, your body coming alive from how connected you are. 

“Kriff, you’re so tight.” He groans, dropping to his elbows over you. “Fit me so perfectly.” 

“Well, I was made for you.” You say, wrapping your arms back around him. 

“So perfect for me.” He says, pressing a kiss to your lips. 

He begins moving, small thrusts as he drags his hips against yours. You cling to him, wanting him as close as you can get him. The sensations and the thought of having him so close set every nerve ending alight in your body, energy thrumming through you. You know it's the connection, the link you share coming alive. 

You love the feeling of it. 

It’s a bit sloppy and awkward, as neither of you are experts. You don’t care though, the pleasure still building as picks up speed. He’s close too, you can tell by the desperation of his movements. You slip a hand down between you, circling your clit as you near the edge. 

He stills as he cums, your own orgasm washing over you at the same time. You cling to him, holding him as close as possible as you ride out your highs together. 

“How much time do you think we have?” You say, holding him on top of you. 

“More than enough.” He says, letting himself sink closer to you. “I told Fives to keep them out as long as possible. 

***

You hadn’t meant to fall asleep. You had been so comfortable and comforted by Rex’s presence, you had just drifted off without trying. 

It’s the arrival of the other troopers that has drawn you from your slumber. Rex’s arm tightens around your waist, obviously having heard their return as well. So much for keeping this a secret. 

You hope maybe they’ll all stumble to bed tiredly and not even look in your direction. You’re hidden from the door by Rex’s body, his arm pulling the sheet up higher inconspicuously. 

“I see the Captain’s been busy while we were away.” A smug voice says. 

“Ha! I called it! You owe me 20 credits!” Another voice calls out. 

“Fives,” Rex growls, going to turn around, but you sit up, clutching the sheet to your chest. You’re still very much naked. 

“Wait, did you bet on us?” You ask in disbelief. 

“You owe me another 20!” Hardcase exclaims, slapping Jesse’s shoulder.

Rex wraps an arm around you, pulling you back down. “Let them have their fun. I’ll make them all do extra rounds in the training room tomorrow.” 

There’s a simultaneous groan from all of them as they shuffle to their bunks to get ready. 

“Don’t worry, cyar’ika. Your secret is safe with us.” Hardcase says. 

“Just as long as I don’t feel the bunk shaking.” Jesse says, climbing up to the top bunk. 

“No promises.” Rex smirks, wrapping his arms back around you.  

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