Derek being obsessed with Stiles softer, paler, inner parts. Like the long pale column of his neck, his belly, his inner thighs, the inside of his wrist. All spots that are soft, more vulnerable, less touched, even by the sun, more closely guarded. Where injuries are more dire. For 'wolves, (and humans to be fair to some degree) sharing these parts of yourself with another is the ultimate trust. It's letting your guard down, surrendering, submitting, it's trusting someone clawed and fanged to not hurt you.
Pack scent marks the back of your neck, your mate marks your front.
The pack marks you with an arm around your shoulders, around your back, a mate marks you with a hand around your waist, settled on your stomach.
Pack sits pressed against you on the couch, legs touching, outer thigh to outer thigh, knocking against each other. Your mate sits with their legs tangled with yours, or a sure hand holding your leg from the inside, thumb stroking
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The AI being hyped right now is not AI at all. It's really important that we all acknowledge this, that the world is selling itself a multi-billion-dollar lemon: predictive text engines that have nothing intelligent about them. They're giant sorting machines, which is why they're so good at identifying patterns in scientific research, and could genuinely advance medicine in wonderful ways. But what they cannot do is think, and as such, it's a collective mass-delusion that these systems have any use in our day-to-day lives beyond plagiarism.
In the background of the video clip, posted by a fan at the hotel breakfast just before Christmas 2018, Shane Hollander is talking on the phone. He looks tired but he's smiling, pushing scrambled eggs around his plate with a fork. "I saw, baby," he says. "No, definitely, no way that was slashing, I'm with you. You'll get them next time, though. Beautiful goal you got in the first, that was so fucking sexy. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Love you."
Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?
And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.
And Shane Hollander is so consumed by jealousy he almost chokes.
Loving the idea that after some time has passed and everybody has calmed tf down, it becomes a silly little joke like yeah, how's my girlfriend's boyfriend doing?, they mostly hang out at hockey events especially once the Irina Foundation is a bit more established and Shane is putting more effort into his charity work but then they just always end up getting tipsy in a corner together, talking puck and bitching about the press and how physios torture you for their own sick enjoyment, all three of them laughing and it's genuinely fun and he's fine, it's fine, Shane is not burning alive with greed at all.
Leila sends him a photo the next morning at buttfuck o'clock of her gf in running gear like "i told her Shane Hollander would bring me breakfast in bed, not abandon me to go exercise" and Shane replies "so sorry to disappoint you also does this mean Marie got the code for the hotel gym?" and then they gradually become real friends and the next time they’re at some gala Leila's insta story complaining that "they’re ganging up on me" because Shane and Marie dragged her out for a run goes a bit too viral and of course the tabloids run all sorts of bullshit about how he's cheating in Rose Landry with Leila or on Leila with Marie or
once Hollanov are out and public the running joke is that everybody thought Ilya was the womaniser but Shane somehow managed to land three girlfriends at once
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just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.
what does ilya think about shane’s driving? and once they’re like fully together, does he let/is he comfortable with shane driving them places?
also if we assume that shane’s parents grew up at least partly in montreal (david playing for mcgill, yuna being a metros fan), can we assume that they might have some montreal driving habits?
and can we then assume that they might have taught shane some of those habits when they were initially teaching him to drive?
like maybe shane was an aggressively safe driver but only by the standards of his montreal born and raised parents and that this is what helped him seamlessly transition into regularly driving in montreal?
Ilya finds it unspeakably fucking attractive.
I think one of the things Ilya likes most about Shane is just how much Shane surprises him. He is such a structured and dependable guy that you think you can predict him easily. And then he comes out of left field and does the absolute last thing Ilya expected. He is bewitched body and soul. Shane Hollander is the most interesting person in the world to him.
Like. I love the ecstatic grins Ilya gets whenever Shane surprises him. Shane folds his clothes during the first hook up and Ilya looks enchanted. Shane says that he hired a stylist and Ilya is overjoyed. Ilya calls himself lazy, something everyone in his life agrees with, and Shane’s immediate reaction is “I don’t know that side of you at all.” And Ilya can’t help but smile. He didn’t think Shane would say that. And he is so in love with him for doing it.
Like. I think Ilya just loves how much Shane surprises him sometimes. The man is simply enchanting to him. He is obsessed.
The first time Ilya gets into a car with Shane, he thinks he knows how it’s going to go. He has his Boring Slow Driver Jokes in the fucking barrel. Because Shane Hollander drives a sensible car. He gets excited about sales on snow tires. He lectures Ilya about smoking. He is Mr. Canada and surely he reads the motor vehicle code to himself each night before he drifts off to dreamland. He already knows that Shane Hollander drives with a religious vocation towards safety.
That is not how Shane drives.
Ilya cannot feel his own legs by the time the car is parked.
He has absolutely no idea what the fuck just happened.
What? No, no one is going into the store to buy a fucking tooth brush. They are turning the car around and going home. Ilya needs to fuck him immediately.
Shane Hollander is the goddamn king of bad drivers. He was an eighteen year old who drove like he had a DMV test administrator riding shotgun at all moments of his life and then suddenly he was drop kicked into an ungodly fusion between clown school and the goddamn Autobahn. Public transport was not an option for him. He was borderline a religious figure in that city. What, was he going to not get recognized? His face was on the side of the fucking bus. The city had him do the announcements for the goddamn metro every time they made the playoffs. No, he had to drive himself if he wanted to go somewhere. Or, well, he could hire a driver, he had the money for it, but Shane could not imagine the shit he would get for being the eighteen year old showing up to practice with a chauffeur. He was already worried that people would think he was full of himself considering he sucked the goddamn oxygen out of every room he had ever been in. Like it was impossible to get any attention as Shane’s teammate. It always had been, and his teammates in the junior leagues had always kind of resented him for it.
Every reporter wanted to talk to him. His team was a national news story but only because he was the news story. They were background characters in the Shane Hollander Origin Story and it made it that much harder for them to get any kind of recognition. It’s hard to standout when you’re standing next to Shane.
Shane was new to the metros. The NHL Commissioner himself had become suddenly invested in pushing his rivalry with the dude whose dick he sucked that one time. Suddenly they were modeling fucking all stars weekend around him, which the older, more experienced players on his team weren’t even invited to.
Shane was the new guy who didn’t have an established place in the team dynamic yet and he was fucking terrified about coming off as full of himself. He was not going to be giving these guys another reason to think that. He had to drive himself.
So Shane looks at his options and the absolute trash can fire that was Montreal city driving and says These Are New Skills That I Must Learn To Succeed In My New Environment and by fucking god does he do that. He is trapped on a road system with 1.5 million of the worst goddamn drivers to ever disgrace the Earth and he is dodging and he is weaving. Everything he does makes perfect sense in the context of the mass psychogenic illness that is the Montreal highway network and comes off as a psychotic break everywhere else on the goddamn planet. He Will Get You To Your Destination Alive But You Will Doubt That Fact Every Single Moment Of The Trip.
The man is a self trained stunt driver. Rose keeps threatening him with a cameo in the fast and furious movies. If she ever gets sucked into that vacuum of a franchise she is forcing him to be one of the background drivers she is so so serious Shane.
Shane has no idea what she is talking about. He is an excellent driver.
Ilya feeds this delusion but only because Shane driving is low key foreplay to him now. Yes baby you are an EXCELLENT driver please drive us home you are so so good at it. He wants so badly to be passenger princess in whatever live action Mario Kart Shane seems to think everyone is playing at all moments in every city on earth. When Shane comes to visit him in Boston, Ilya insists on picking him up at the airport instead of Shane renting a car or calling a rideshare because all of Ilya’s windows are tinted and someone’s more liable to recognize Shane if they’re in close proximity and wonder why the fuck Shane Hollander is in Boston without a game happening so really it’s SAFER for Ilya to come get him, really.
It is not because of that.
It is because Ilya has a biological need to see Shane Hollander whip his Porsche 918 Spyder across I-90E like he’s competing in the goddamn Indy 500, all while lecturing Ilya about how unsafe and impractical of a car this is. Ilya lives in a city with some very narrow streets and very harsh winters he needs to have at least one car built for the snow. Shane’s car, for example—
Ilya is not listening to a goddamn word. He never listens to anything Shane says while driving. He is not physically capable of it. All of Ilya’s mental bandwidth is dedicated to strategizing about the shortest possible path from Shane putting the car in park to Ilya getting inside of him. Ilya is playing 4D chess to make sure Shane only ever drives them home and when no one else is in the car because he needs to fuck him too bad as soon as the car stops to ever risk witnesses at their destination.
Svetlana makes the mistake one (1) time of getting in a car driven by that fucking psychopath and immediately clocks this as a sex thing. Oh, you need to talk to Shane in private immediately? Yes she bets he does. Ilyusha, how dare you risk her life for foreplay especially when she is not even invited to watc—
I don’t have strong opinions about Dave and Yuna’s driving habits. I could see them being bad drivers because they are Formerly of Montreal. I can see them having shaken that since they are now Of Ottawa. In my mind, Shane Hollander was an exceedingly safe driver turned Terrible Montreal Driver because he almost never drove himself before he moved to Montreal. He learned to drive in a driving school where he learned Good Driving Habits and then almost never got behind the wheel of the car. Other people drove him everywhere.
Like, that is a guy that got pulled out of every math class growing up. He started making waves in the hockey world before he hit puberty. His schedule would have been fucking packed beyond all reasonable limits. He has not had free time since fucking 2003. His parents were driving; he was in the backseat doing his homework and trying not to fail 11th grade English.
He was not truly shaped as a driver until he hit the hellscape that is Montreal roadways. And boy did it shape him.
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Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.
"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"
Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.
"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"
Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.
"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."
"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.
"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"
"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"
"No," Shane says, shortly.
"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"
"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"
"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."
"Mom!"
"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."
"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.
"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
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