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hashtag my fics. whatever.

holy matrimony (E, 31,706 words, complete)

it is 2021, and scott hunter is getting married. it is 2017, and shane proposes to ilya with a paper list and a plan to get married in secret, like something straight out of shakespeare. somehow, these two things are related. part one of two weddings and a scandal.

we took the scenic route (E, 18,002 words, complete)

scott hunter's two idiot coworkers ruined his goddamn wedding. he has a lot of feelings about it. part two of two weddings and a scandal.

and we all fall down (E, 21,799 words, ongoing)

Everybody knows that Shane married Ilya in secret four years ago. It hasn’t solved anything. part 3 of two weddings and a scandal.

for richer or poorer (E, 14,828 words, complete)

getting outed sucks. getting outed because someone filmed you pissing on your boyfriend in the locker room at 3am sucks even worse. part one of #pissgate.

it's a labor of love (M, 6,763 words, complete)

how do you support your best friend after he got outed via a video of his boyfriend pissing on him in the locker room at 3am? hayden pike is in the unfortunate position of trying to figure this out. part two of #pissgate.

#this list will get longer. unfortunately. i have too many things cooking in my kitchen.

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roxyandelsewhere

this fic is mostly finished and just needs some final superficial tweaks in later chapters so i've decided to start posting it now!! here it is at last, nun!hollanova. read the first chapter here

roxyandelsewhere

chapter 4 is up! #theirep4fuckmontage

omgshesblowinbubbles

Don’t Twinkify my Shane but also don’t Dumbify my Ilya! He does not need a sex ban threat to pick up his socks, he knows Shane doesn’t like stuff on the floor. He does not eat McDonalds while shane cooks dinner. His goal in life is to be a good boyfriend and make his man happy and he is very good at it.

#he’s also literally a professional athlete trust he’s eating food with macros precisely counted by a nutritionist #McDonald’s is most assuredly a guilty pleasure for when he feels like shit

luulapants

The Tennis Club - Chapter 9

Hollanov, Shane/Others, Ilya/Others, Scott Hunter/Many, Ryan Price/Many | Explicit | secret gay hockey player network AU, feat. my army of hockey OCs

Chapter preview:

"You two will be in New York for New Year's," Roz commented, later, as they cleaned up.

Liam was drying off after another shower, Price detangling his hair at the sink with a comb left behind by one of Roz's lady friends. Roz, in a pair of briefs, was watching him.

"Jersey," Casey agreed.

"Me, too," he said. "For Brooklyn. Hunter is out of town. We should go out or something."

That level of familiarity probably wasn't a good idea. Roz and Price weren't too far off in age, and Casey and Price had established familiarity in living together, but he didn't know if a few tennis games was enough to explain away spending a holiday together, the three of them.

Roz must have seen his wariness, because he added, "I told my team I make friends with you two so Price won't kill me on the ice this season. They say it is a good idea."

Liam couldn't see Price's expression from this angle, but suddenly Roz stepped forward, cooing, "Oh, don't worry! I know you would not kill me," and smacked a wet-sounding kiss on his cheek. "You love me too much, yes?"

Price laughed and swatted him away, appeased.

"Sure," Liam found himself saying, something warm settling in his chest. "Let's do New Year's."

With coding and art by the excessively exceptional @mock-speed

kidrat

U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping

andthepeople

what you fail to take into account is he's been stuck on tatooine for 19 years and so he has specific and very personal beef with each and every creature in that cantina

#a building full of brokenhearted hookups and former landlords

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mikkeneko

PSA to fan creators who don't have a lot of regular contact with children: They are almost always bigger than you think. A 1-year-old baby may already be walking. A toddler is likely already hip-high. A 10-year-old may already be taller than at least one of their parents. A 14/15 year old may already have reached their adult height.

amarguerite

Via @watertightvines

wildjuniperjones

Here's the link. It was actually not immediately easy to find, so I thought this might help.

#wtf are you defining toddler as….. unless you are four foot zero a two year old ain’t gonna be up to your hip #four year old yeah maybe. but two???? babies grow fast but not that fast

avantgarden-er

I just read a fic where shane puts on a sweater like this and is wearing his reading glasses and every time ilya is like. Spread your hole. Right now

#and he’s so right for that

roxyandelsewhere

this fic is mostly finished and just needs some final superficial tweaks in later chapters so i've decided to start posting it now!! here it is at last, nun!hollanova. read the first chapter here

roxyandelsewhere

chapter 4 is up! #theirep4fuckmontage

crent-trimm

The humidity in New Jersey right now is 89%.

I need every European to shut up immediately and forever about the US if you don’t understand the very basics.

Yes, the southwest is a desert. That’s like saying it can’t be raining in the UK because it’s sunny in Greece.

#quick somebody tell them abt louisiana. theyll shit.

luulapants

Are Hayden or other teammates aware that Shane is having hookups or hangouts on the road? Like there is no lily on his phone, but it seems like Hayden only was able to put together that in canon because Shane only ever hooked up in Boston. Also idk how rooming on away games is working at this point, but is Shane being discreet/evasive enough that Hayden and the others don't think he's getting any or is he telling his team "I have plans" and letting them jump to their own conclusions?

So this is one of the wild things about Tennis Club, right?? That actually having sex with a bunch of guys is LESS suspicious than having just one regular hookup in one city a few times a year.

Shane got halfway through his rookie season, so it's not like there was a huge baseline of him not going out before then - that's easily explained by him being really locked-in for his first professional season. So at this point, "normal" for Shane is that he goes off on his own a lot, often doesn't come back to his hotel room at all when there's no curfew, and everyone just assumes he's having sex with women but being discrete about it because he's not one to flaunt his hookups. He doesn't have to explain himself, really.

If we want to really blow our minds, though, Tennis Club is actually toning down Ilya's reputation because he's spending so much of his time hooking up discretely. So he's still going out, he's still picking up women, but not nearly as often as he does in canon.

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luulapants

in a reasonable canon, shane would simply have THEE most dependent and intimate relationship with the montreal team nutritionist. like, he has her on speed dial. they text multiple times per day. she spends 60% of her work hours adjusting meal plans for his texture issues and aversions. nobody else really sees how intense their connection is.

when he was crashing out about trading to ottawa, he said, "You know, it's just gonna be really hard to leave melissa," and hayden was sitting right there like. "melissa?? it's gonna be hard to leave MELISSA??"

but i think we can probably convince melissa to move to ottawa with him, don't worry.

grabmyboner

further to my marly and ilya playing xbox together post i want to bring to ur attention the fact that shane WILL be sucking ilya’s dick while he is in the middle of a game with marly or anyone really and ilya has on his chunky gaming headset and has to push the microphone up to not catch every breath he lets out but so he can still be heard when he gets asked something. shane tries his hardest to get ilya to fuck up every move he makes using every trick ilya taught him and is giddy when he hears marly yelling through the headset roz is your fucking controller connected or is this an actual skill issue and ilya grunts back fuck you but it happens as he’s coming and it’s more like a fuUuCk yoU and shane is laughing as he’s swallowing ilya’s cum and fending off ilya’s pathetic attempts at kicking him.

1410-1221-dec2008

swagsmeister

i hope they remembered sunscreen

#nah they’re waking up an hour later lookin like they’ve been deep fried

themauvesoul

The thing is I think ilya is ordinarily too principled and competitive to cheat at cards bc like. It doesn’t count if you win by cheating. However when he’s playing any type of card game board game with Shane he’s cheating left and right and doing so blatantly and obviously bc he loves nothing more than pissing Shane off

themauvesoul

They’ll be on the plane playing go fish bc they’re bored and Shane will be like do you have any threes. Ilya smugly says go fish. Shane says show me your FUCKING HAND ILYA YOUVE BEEN TELLING ME TO GO FISH FOR THE LAST TEN ROUNDS. Cue wrestling match where Shane wrecks the whole game just to wrench the cards out of Ilya’s hands and sure enough. All four threes in the deck are right there. Shane says why the fuck are you LIKE THIS and Ilya says because you like it, and raises his eyebrows and nods towards Shane’s dick, which is hard in his airplane sweats. So naturally Shane is gonna get his dick sucked in the airplane bathroom ahout it.

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The thing is I think ilya is ordinarily too principled and competitive to cheat at cards bc like. It doesn’t count if you win by cheating. However when he’s playing any type of card game board game with Shane he’s cheating left and right and doing so blatantly and obviously bc he loves nothing more than pissing Shane off

luulapants

Who are Shane and Ilya closest to in the club?

Shane is by far closest with Martin, his Montreal bestie. But he also has a special friendship with Price!! Astute readers might have noticed that, early on, he's the one that points out when Price is getting overlooked, and the two of them have a lot to talk about when it comes to managing anxiety.

Ilya has made a more conscious effort to cultivate his relationships in Tennis Club, and that's resulted in some interesting intimacies. Danilov is probably his closest, most consistent confidant - Russian Code of Secrecy and all that. But he and McGee get along really well and obviously that relationship got deeper after the K-hole scare during the 2012 awards. He also really enjoys spending time with those older guys that think he's too young to hook up with: Paulsen, Archer, Vrubel. It's got to be so refreshing for him to have positive, healthy attention from older men, you know??

#not ilya hitting every guy over 30 with the daddy beam…….

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