The Trans Agenda is to Keep My F*cking Friends Alive — sol rios
published as part of the Citizen Trans* {Project} by New Words Press

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@voidcataro
The Trans Agenda is to Keep My F*cking Friends Alive — sol rios
published as part of the Citizen Trans* {Project} by New Words Press

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This is just my two cents on what is ultimately a very complicated issue, but I feel like too often we treat representation like it's a quality problem when it would be better approached as a quantity problem. For as many people want to see a serious grounded portrayal of their experiences, there are also those who just want to relax and have a good time. So for instance, if you're writing a trans woman for your story, instead of pouring all of your effort into research - trying to avoid every stereotype while simultaneously making her all things to all trans women - you could instead just add a second trans woman
This has the added advantage that you can make them kiss, but I digress
Transmascs on testosterone are some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing in my little life. I love everything about what testosterone does for transmasculine people. I love everything about what testosterone does for people who want it in their bodies.
[ID: tags reading
when I say everything I mean everything;
i love the changes in your voice. i love the way it cracks;
i love every single folicle of new hair;
i love your stubble I love the patterns it grows in;
i love the texture of your skin;
i love the ways that you smell;
i love everything about what testosterone does to people who want it in their bodies /end ID]
one thing that does often actually genuinely break my heart about aromanticism is that it opens so many ontological pathways to methodologies that would unilaterally improve people's lives but most people can't even be bothered to learn about aromanticism much less apply those lessons to themselves
being aromantic (and being aspec in general) prompts you to unlearn the thought that a romantic relationship is going to fulfill you in a way that nothing else can. to unlearn that your worth is tied to your desirability. to unlearn that your life is defined by love. it prompts you to restructure your relationships. to reevaluate the ways in which the people around you contribute to your life and the ways in which you want to engage with them. it shows you that everything we know about relationships is defined by social constructs that don't need to be heeded. it opens you to a life of such blissful freedom and i feel such a sense of grief for the way that this information never seems to get beyond us
another underappreciated tumblr feature that you dont get on other sites is the queue. i love it when something i thought was funny six months ago and then forgot about a week later crawlts its way out of the processing vortex and i get to see it all over again.
you should queue this post it would be funny and grant me immortality
you motherfuckers put me in the processing vortex
THE TIME LOOP
It's me boy I'm the tumblr time loop speaking to you inside your queue, listen to me boy
Log off twitter we don't need her, come with me recycle memes, we'll have mission status sick in space doo de doo
You need memes boy, your free thought is an illusion

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like a lot of time transmasculine "victimhood" is not about the transmasculine person themself. it's about the abstract ideal daughter that is grafted onto their body. when people talk about protecting their daughters from themselves, they mean they must kill the evil dyke to save the fantasy of a good daughter/future wife and mother. it's the same thing that happens with ageism towards children, where your "real" identity is the value you represent to society, and you- the consciousness driving the body- can and will be punished if you are seen as threatening that hypothetical person they need you to be. transmasculine people are not seen as innocent. their body represents the sexual labor society demands of them, and the social failure inside the body has to be beaten and forced into submission to protect the body.
(this is also how plain old misogyny works if it wasn't obvious. this is done to girls all the time too, any time they want to cut their hair short or get tattoos or not wear makeup or have premarital sex or get a hysterectomy or go into trades or do anything that could hurt or damage someone's precious little daughter. the way women are treated as property is inseparable from the way transmasculine people are treated as property. and the way TERFs latch onto the "saving those misguided girls from themselves" logic proves that they've always been reactionary misogynists to the core.)
i dont care about validity i care about my civil rights
“can you be trans without dysphoria” “can you be an aromantic lesbian” “can bisexuals only date one gender” i literally do not care. in what states and countries are we protected from discrimination.
there are so so many reasons why its harmful to make negative generalizations about men/masculinity but honestly the fact that it hurts trans men should be enough for yall to stop
youre monogamous? oh… it’s ethical, right? ethical monogamy? okay good for you! i mean pretty much every monogamous couple i’ve met didn’t work out but maybe you guys will beat the odds! haha. so is it a sex thing? you guys have sex with- just each other? huh. how does that work? i could never do monogamy, i’m too jealous, i’d worry my partner would leave me for someone else instead of dating us both… how do you deal with the jealousy? is it hard? like, how hard? extremely? do you think you’ll break up? i mean in the long run these things rarely work out,

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Images from Leonard Nimoy’s The Full Body Project (2007)
The Full Body Project is a book of photography by Leonard Nimoy that features a group of women involved in fat liberation. They were the Fat-Bottom Revue—women who worked in film, theatre, and art and who formed the first all-fat burlesque performance group. The founder of the Fat-Bottom Revue, Heather MacAllister, was an advocate in the LGBT rights movement, the fat acceptance movement, and in particular was a champion for fat lesbians.
Way, way too real (source)
We all need to get a LOT more comfortable doing this.
Kill the part of you who cringes
No really
It's a fucking life skill
@saxifraga-x-urbium tags are correct
I don't know why this keeps happening but I keep meeting toxic heterosexual couples who experiment with polyamory and are heavily into funko pops, board games, Disney princesses and Burlesque stripping and the man is always a withdrawn bearded dude and the woman is always a passive aggressive control freak with an Etsy shop that sells lawn gnomes styled after Dr Who characters and they don't really even seem to like each other but they're always exactly the same. this has happened four times
@niceferatu
I'm literally dating the woman rn. Like, this is FRIGHTENINGLY accurate.
(detail from the San Barnaba Altarpiece (c. 1488) by Sandro Botticelli)
Hi, love your work
I'm a trans girl, and I have something I'd like your help with.
I don't have any of the common sense that I would get from the life experience of being raised as a girl
I'm worried that I'll end up in a dangerous situation because I was oblivious to the risks.
thank you! thanks for stopping by, that's actually a really great thing to ask about! you definitely want to know what you're possibly getting into when it comes to other people treating you. you want to know what to expect and that's good! women have it hard and people can be very invasive
i was raised/socialized as a girl/woman before i transitioned so i can give a bit of insight, since i've been there too. these are just a few tips, it's not a comprehensive list, nor is it in any particular order. just some things to keep in mind!
Safety & General Advice Tips for Trans Women:
First and foremost, try to not let too much of this stress get to you at once. At the end of the day, womanhood can be an extremely varied experience, so your mileage will vary with a lot of these. Try not to get too wrapped up in feeling paranoid of strangers if possible, while there are strangers who can potentially want to hurt you, there are also those who are minding their own business or even support you. It's definitely okay to have your guard up, but it may affect your mental health greatly if you are starting to feel endangered by most people around you.
It's good to be informed, alert and aware, but if it starts getting to a point where the way you feel about strangers is making your quality of life worse, it may be a good idea to take the time to focus on yourself and those who love you to remind you that womanhood isn't always miserable, even though it can feel like it at times. There will still be good moments, whether you're by yourself or with friends, that you can cherish to help alleviate some of the pain that cisheteronormative patriarchy can cause.
You may notice after you come out to others that they start talking down to you, condescending to you, doubting your emotions and experiences, downplaying your struggles, or even being rude and mean about things they weren't that way about before. People have a lot of internalized misogyny and tend to compulsively begin treating a woman or someone they perceive to be a woman like they're incapable of thinking for themselves. This is really common, so if this starts happening to you, try not to let it get to you. You're not too dumb to think for yourself.
People may start to doubt your capability at your job, if you are employed. You may notice a huge shift in respect and how your customers and clients treat you, especially if you work in a male dominated field. People may ask to talk to your cis man/cis man passing coworkers instead of you and it's okay to get angry about this. You may get paid less than your cishet man/cishet man passing coworkers as well and it's okay to be angry about this, too.
Come out slowly so you can adjust and gauge how the people in your life will treat you. When coming out at first, stick to very close friends and family members you have a good relationship with. You can take this as slow or as quickly as you want. But when you're first coming out and unsure of yourself, you don't have to overwhelm yourself by telling the entire world right out of the gates if you don't want to. You can take it at your own pace.
It's up to you whether or not you want to pass as a woman, either in your personal or public life. If you don't want to pass or just don't want to try, that's okay. If passing is vital to your mental health and how you want to be seen, that's also okay. You're allowed to decide how you present and appear. Keeping your safety in mind is also super important, so if you feel the stress of trying to pass as a woman would be too much or even dangerous for you to do so, it's okay to not try to pass. You're also allowed to "look trans," too.
Makeup can and does change how peoples' faces look drastically, so you may find that makeup can help you pass for safety or personal reasons. Even something as simple as eyeliner and mascara can change the way one's face looks. Highlighter & contour used on the cheeks, nose and brow can very much transform one's appearance, and if you have very visible stubble, you can utilize foundation and other products to help mask it when in public or around other people you need to pass for safety or personal reasons.
Most strangers in public generally think that long hair = woman. There are men and other people regardless of gender who wear their hair long, but for passing, safety, or personal reasons, long hair can drastically change how strangers see you.
Layers, flowy and loose fitting clothing help mask certain traits of the body, so if you feel insecure about how strangers perceive certain parts of your body, you may be able to obscure it from strangers' view by wearing a few layers or loose fitting clothes.
You may want to avoid taking long walks in dark places at night alone if possible. It is very much true that it can be unsafe to be out late at night- this can be regardless of your gender- but as a feminine person or woman, there is a genuine risk of being out late at night without someone else around, or being inside of a car. This is a little stereotypical to say, but it is a genuine danger.
If you're out in public and ever feel like someone is stalking or following you and you're alone, pull out your cell phone if you have one and pretend to take a phone call. Talk into your phone like you're speaking to another person, and if necessary, actually call someone else. Generally speaking, someone who wants to cause harm will not want there to be witnesses, especially not someone who can hear what's happening directly and can come over to the scene or call for emergency assistance. Put your best friends, family members and other emergency contacts on speed dial or favorite contacts if your phone has that kind of feature to make it even quicker and easier.
When meeting someone from a dating app, social media or other place online for the first time, do so in a public setting like a restaurant or other busy area where there are a lot of other people nearby to prevent potentially dangerous behaviors. Try to avoid meeting up with someone for the first time at your home when and where possible. Try to avoid giving out your exact location or address before you have interacted with someone in person.
Being in groups in public can drastically increase your safety levels, especially if those people are willing to stand up for you. It's also hard for people to get a close read on you if you are with a lot of other people. The more there are of you, the better.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to carry self defense tools just in case. That won't make you a violent person, looking out for your safety is crucial. It's okay to prepare for this kind of thing.
You may find that people suddenly start being needlessly sexual toward you, or sexualize your womanhood without you telling them you enjoy that kind of thing first. People may shift their view on how they feel about you and become aggressively sexual. You are not obligated to accept that if it makes you uncomfortable.
You may find that people start to doubt your physical strength and capability for no real reason.
Trans chasers do exist, though they're not every person who's attracted to trans women. Chasers will usually focus very hard on the things that make you "non passing" to them, to the point where it makes you feel very uncomfortable because you no longer feel as though you are being viewed as a person, but rather, a sexual object that fascinates them. They may also use hurtful slurs and humiliating language toward you without your consent.
I know people say this a lot but it's true, public bathrooms can be dangerous, so it's best to stay cautious when entering one. Wear a face mask if possible inside to help people mind their own business. Avoid conversation if possible. Looking nervous may draw some attention, so keeping a cool head and focusing on the task at hand can help in some situations.
You do not have to feel ashamed of your voice, but if you're noticing people getting caught up on your voice, you can do some vocal training, or choose to speak in shorter, more concise sentences and utilize body language around those people, or both. You don't have to completely silence yourself as you deserve to speak up for yourself, but using more body language may help you have an easier time with strangers who are or may become caught up on how your voice sounds. There are all kinds if women with deep voices, but some people do focus on this.
Women's support groups and spaces can potentially be very welcoming, or very hostile depending on the people involved. There are women's spaces who accept trans women, but there are also those who do not. Try not to feel too bad on yourself if you find these spaces do not accept you, because it says nothing about you and everything about that space.
It's good to have friends, lovers and family who are also women, but cis women in particular are not always inherently safe to be around and can harm you. If you feel like the cis women around you are hurting you, you're allowed to say that they are. Cis women can be great allies and friends, but they are not inherently safer to be around than any other gender. You do not have to tell yourself they are not hurting you because women can't hurt each other. You do not have to convince yourself the pain isn't real because women are incapable of harming others. If you feel as though the cis women in your life are treating you badly, it's okay to talk about it and validate yourself in that you can genuinely be harmed by cis women and you do not have to downplay any of that pain whatsoever.
If you notice a lot of these things happening to you, It's more than okay to be angry at the shitty behaviors people may start showing you as a trans woman. It's okay to feel anger towards those actions and how people look down on women. It's okay to express your pain. It's okay to express worry and concern. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not know what to do at first or in certain situations. It's okay to take a while to adjust to how people are treating you if it changes. As long as one doesn't direct that anger at people who haven't hurt them, there is nothing wrong with any of this.
now you may have a totally different experience depending on the people around you. there's no way to know exactly how people will treat you after coming out, so take things step by step, day by day. for your own mental health, try not to let yourself get too caught up in these things. it's great that you want to look out for potential danger! it's a very real issue, but your mental health is also super important and if you find that all you can think about is being in danger, you definitely deserve to find ways to alleviate that stress. take care of yourself when and where possible to make the experience more enjoyable.
tailor your experience in your home and personal life as much as you can to your liking. being out in public can be dangerous and scary, but you do deserve to be out somewhere, even if it's when it's just you alone in your room, talking to your friends. women, especially trans women, can be in a lot of potential danger at all times, but don't let yourself get consumed by fear all the time, as you deserve quality of life and you deserve to feel proud and euphoric about being a trans girl. you deserve validation and kindness. you deserve to feel good about yourself as a trans girl at some point, you don't have to go without that because cishet patriarchal society can be dangerous and hard.
i hope you find this even remotely helpful, i may not have been as informative as i'd like to be, but take care of yourself, okay? it's very good to want to learn the risks of what can potentially happen in society and being a woman in public. others are more than welcome to pitch in as well, please do so if you have tips & suggestions for this anon! take care for now, be good to yourself and remember that there's nothing wrong with being a woman, especially a trans woman. the people who don't like you don't define you: you do. you don't have to listen to them. they don't know who you really are.
as a trans guy and Former Woman i do recommend
being suspicious of random strangers who approach you to say something bizarre or inappropriate to the situation you're in
leaving your car locked until you get to where you parked it
habitually having Some Object on your person that you feel you could do damage with if you had to, even if it's just a sturdy steel water bottle (I mostly used this to shut down people who were acting overly concerned about me walking somewhere alone, but it did also make me feel safer)
tell someone close to you where you're going and when you expect to be back if you're going somewhere by yourself/meeting someone in person for the first time/going anywhere that makes you nervous for your physical safety. this gives them something to base a judgment call on if you've been gone for a concerning amount of time, and information on where to find you if they can't reach you. you don't have to do this every time you go get groceries, but you can if it makes you feel more secure
if something makes you feel unsafe, it's worth asking female friends if it happens to them, if it also makes them feel unsafe, and also if anything bad ever actually happened because of it because we all get false threat alarms sometimes
most of the actual harassment I've experienced has either been random men catcalling me from their car at 30+mph (made me feel weird and unsettled, didn't like it, nothing otherwise threatening happened) or people breaking the social contract in subtle ways to intimidate me. the way I deal with the second thing is a tactic I would describe as somewhere in between Malicious Compliance and weaponizing the social script. I act cheerful and unbothered and refuse to acknowledge whatever subtext the other person tried to use to upset me, until they lose interest and go away. You may or may not find that useful, but I wanted to share in case it helps.

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as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you're just there like "okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway"
Large Labia Project
Labia Library
Breast Gallery-Nonsexualized Images of real, anonymously submitted breasts
Critique My Dick Pic [tumbex archive]-real submitted dick centric nudes
thank you (i think?)
why wouldn't it be thank you? you expressed interest in sexual education materials related to genital body diversity, and i keep these resources on hand for exactly that purpose.
it's natural to be curious about bodies--yours and others. the presence or lack of sexual intent motivating that curiosity is irrelevant. they're just body parts
I also found one of my favorites I couldn't find this morning: The Great Wall of Vulva and their Labia Library
sorry, my gratitude was real, my uncertainty was @ me ("am i sure i actually want to spend my evening looking at genitals or was i using the difficulty of knowing what to google as an excuse not to learn things") lol
do you have any resources for trans bodies, especially transmasc bodies? i am interested in better understanding what changes i might expect as someone on testosterone, but though i found references to photo projects re: bottom growth in a few places, all the links were dead
totally, the London Transgender Clinic and Dr. Keelee MacPhee have a variety of before and after photos related to various gender affirmation procedures.
i think that r/GrowYourTDick is the best repository of images of specifically trans masculine bottom growth. I can't comment on the culture of the forum, but there is absolutely a lot of images of transmasculine genitalia and extensive discussion of physical changes.
For (relatively*) trustworthy information, Hudson's FTM Resource Guide contains a lot of information about medical side effects and Things To Generally Be Aware Of, like increased risk for yeast infections and tips for managing locker rooms/swimming. *I can't verify that this information is up to date
I'm not directly connected to any trans masc transition support networks, but i know that discord is a thriving space for transition support and information sharing. i think it would be relatively easy to find positive community there. they often compile resources and information for members as well as provide topical discussion spaces. here's the disboard listings for public trans masc oriented servers
and this is just a really beautiful series of portraits of trans masculine people.
that about taps me out on resources!
no, I lied, I'm not done. I spent way too long looking for this photography archive documenting trans nude portraits specifically. lost to the ether. found other stuff though:
Archive of Body Alchemy: Transsexual Portraits by Loren Cameron, which includes images of genitalia in its "Genital Reconstruction" section, page 46. Portraits of clothed trans masculine people other than the author begin on page 34 in the "New Man Series."
A Genitoplasty Diary by Lou Sullivan (1984-1987) (no images but fascinating)
the evergreen Trans Bodies, Trans Selves
not useful at all, but an extremely cool in-browser recreation of a 90s mac in order to run a 90s trans information CD-Rom.
thanks! sharing for the sake of anyone else interested too
yeah there's so many dead links out there it's tragic. sometimes you even get as far as the artist's website and they'll have a page for the project but then the project is gone and you just get a 404. i'm guessing the increasing hostility of internet providers and stuff towards nudity/nsfw content and also the general atmosphere for trans people has an impact on the safety and practicalities of continuing to host stuff like that :(
Found this on Reddit, I couldn't not share