I'm shy at first and then im like donkey from shrek

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

childhood friends to complete strangers

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

creates a porn sideblog and you look in there and its just pictures of fucked up stairs leading nowhere

this is my son ben, short for benthic sediment

and this is my daughter callie, short for calcareous ooze

i thought of another. their cousin ally short for alluvial deposit