hollanovhudcontakeover

thinking about “no, i get that, but actually, i love him.” mind you this is like less than 24 hours after he’s even said it aloud to ilya. less than 24 hours before he puts to words what he’s felt since ilya kissed him goodbye on the stairwell. i get that, given the last decade of the two of us connecting over our shared distaste for the man standing next to me. i get that, given how reporters and magazines and podcasts all pick apart at our relationship like vultures, insisting there’s venom between us. i get that, since i’ve gone quiet whenever you’ve mentioned him in the last nine years. you must’ve taken my silence for hatred. and i get that, i do, but no. in those moments, i was wondering what it would be like for you to meet him, to shake his hand, look into his eyes and see the man i’ve held so close to my heart for years. and now i’m being honest, finally. i love him. i think maybe i always have.

i love my pervert mutuals #mypervertmutuals