my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.
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i think one of the reasons that heated rivalry has been so successful is because everyone involved with it is so fucking proud of what they created. like there’s zero embarrassment or shame about how sexual it is or how queer it is and it’s just such a breath of fresh air
Finnish speakers really look at our own words and go, you know what it's a good word, but now that I've considered it I've decided that we'll have as little of it as we can get away with from now on.
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Peabody Awards on why they chose to recognize and award “Heated Rivalry” in this year’s awards:
“The show balances complex themes of sexuality and emotional connection, inspiring fans and promoting non-toxic masculinity, ultimately making what was arguably the biggest cultural impact in television this year.”
Moments after Shane and Ilya pull away from Yuna and David's house:
When the car had pulled back onto the main road, David turned back toward the house. “We knew it was a possibility that he was gay.”
Yuna sighed. “I know. I am trying not to be disappointed. I don’t know why I am disappointed. I had hoped with Rose Landry… she just seemed like such an appropriate choice. Do you think she knows?”
David sat down at the table again and gestured for Yuna to take the seat across from him. He reached across and took her hands. “Probably. They still talk.”
“You don’t think she’ll say anything to the press, do you? I could—"
David squeezed her fingers. “I don’t know what she’d have to gain from it. And Shane has kept this secret very well. It doesn’t seem likely that he would trust just anyone with it.”
“Ilya Rozanov, though,” Yuna said, pulling her hands away and leaning back in her chair. “You don’t think this is some mind game on his part? Getting to Shane early? The summer before rookie season? For God’s sake, Shane was only 18 years old.”
“So was Rozanov. And no. I cannot imagine that a 18 year old boy planned to enter into a years long homosexual relationship in order to mess with Shane’s hockey game. Shane’s hockey game is perfectly intact.”
“But he hasn’t stopped seeing women. And he’s kept Shane a secret.”
“Well, but Shane hasn’t exactly been advertising this either. And you have to imagine it has the potential to destroy both their careers.”
“Yes, but with his reputation, he could always just say that he was messing with Shane. Like it was some kind of tactic. And then Shane would look—"
“It’s been almost ten years,” David interrupted. “That would be a hell of a long game. Shane has as much power over Rozanov’s career as he has over Shane’s.”
“I just… he’s always been so cocky. Like he thought he was God’s gift to hockey. Like he thought he was better than Shane.”
“You don’t have to like him,” David said. “You just have to trust Shane.”
“I know. But you like him.” It was almost a question.
“I don’t know what I think. But I saw that he didn’t leave Shane to clean up their mess on his own. And I saw that Shane cares enough for him not to crumble under your disapproval.”
“David!”
“You told the boy he was disloyal for being willing to leave Boston!”
“I’m just not sure he’s not strategizing somehow.”
“If he were strategizing, wouldn’t it make more sense to get Shane to leave Montreal? Instead he’s the one talking about signing with an inferior team.”
“Yes, but maybe that’s an advantage. Ottawa would pay a lot for a star. And it would be a heck of legacy, to raise the Centaurs from the dust.”
“And if he can do it, then good for him. But it’s a huge risk. And one he is apparently willing to take.”
Yuna huffed. “Because he thinks he’s God’s gift to hockey.”
“Yuna. Can you not see that he loves our son?”
“Ok,” she said, raising a hand in acquiescence. “But I just think that for Shane, someone more…. Shane’s never gone for flashy. He’s steady. He’s—"
“That is exactly why I think we need to support this.”
“Why? So Shane can ‘sow his wild oats’? So he can jeopardize what he’s built for some kind of thrill?”
“Thrill? Look at him! He wouldn’t even eat tonight because you served pasta.”
“I served pasta because it’s bulking season!”
“Yes, I know. It’s why I love bulking season. But he probably ate his carbs at breakfast. And he will not deviate. Tonight, he will still spend one hour and thirty five minutes in the gym, despite this being one of the most difficult afternoons of his life. Shane doesn’t allow for aberrations. He treats his life like an equation he can solve to get the right answer.”
“Shane is disciplined. And talented. And he is a serious young man who understands—"
“Shane is 26! He is a young man who keeps himself under such rigid control that we thought it was possible he just didn’t date because it would interfere with his training.”
“He will have plenty of life after hockey to explore whatever… entanglements he chooses.”
“Yuna, would you stop being his manager for just one second and be the kid’s mother? Our son has finally chosen something for pleasure.”
Yuna looks horrified.
“Yes, I said for pleasure. Our son who refuses wine, who refuses dessert, who refuses pasta. Our son who only eats salmon and brown rice in perfectly weighed portions. Our son who trains all but two weeks of the year, and then agrees to use that time to take us to Wimbledon even though he doesn’t want to. Our son who never misses a practice, let alone a game, who plays injured, who wears his Rolex and his Reeboks, and never fights on the ice. Never disparages the other team—"
“David—"
“—I’m not done yet. Our son who has never chosen a goddamned thing for himself has chosen this. And has been willing to jeopardize all the meticulous training and grooming and money—"
“I never wanted any of Shane’s money. I only wanted the best—"
“Ilya Rozanov is the best.” David laughed ruefully and ran a hand over his face. “Can’t you see that? Even in this, Shane chose the very best, the only person who could possibly match him.”
“On the ice, maybe,” Yuna said grudgingly.
“Or maybe off it as well. Did you see how quickly Rozanov was able to reach him? I know he doesn’t come around that quickly for me. For you either.”
Yuna looked hard at her husband. “You really think this is a good idea?”
“I don’t think it makes any difference whether it is a good idea. This is what Shane wants. For once, I see my son letting himself have something he wants. If that something is Ilya Rozanov… then I guess I need to invest in some better vodka.”
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If they'd clocked David's presence before kissing against the glass, I honestly would have loved to see Shane try and explain away Ilya's secret presence at his cottage. Like they still go over for dinner and Shane is desperately trying to pretend that he and Ilya just play up the rivalry for the cameras and they've actually been Good Friends™ for years and he just never mentioned it because it was good for the Game and Yuna really seemed to hate him and its kinda awkward to explain yada yada yada, it doesnt matter, Yuna and David stopped paying attention several minutes ago because Ilya has a hickey and theyre trying to find a polite way to point that out
yeah the reason ilya’s depression gets worse in ottawa is not because he hates ottawa and hates the centaurs. like don’t get me wrong it doesn’t help that he’s suddenly in a new place and on a shit team. but that’s not the problem. the problem is that he’s spent almost a decade playing the game of ‘well if i had what i wanted then i’d be fixed’ and then he got what he wanted - his dad is gone and he doesn’t have to go back to russia or have contact with his horrible brother and shane loves him and he loves shane and they’re going to be together now - and unfortunately it didn’t fix a damn thing
Also, do not forget that risk-taking is often a short-term help for the chemicals.
Sleeping with everyone. Getting into fights on the regular. Clubbing. All of this boosts the dopamine. And then you have a drop. You recover. And you do it all over again.
Ilya does keep repeating that he's hooking up with Shane because Shane is a bad fucking (worst) idea. He gets the most high from Shane. From a gay hookup, while he's a Russian. And they play for the NHL. A gay hookup that becomes a complete slut for Ilya and then tells him to fuck off. It has such a risk (adrenaline), such a horrible outcome if they're discovered (NHL + Russia), such a fight (you try pushing the second best hockey player around), such a deep dive (Shane is inexperienced, afraid, always on the precipice of stopping it ... But Ilya nudges him and Shane jumps into it).
Everything but to face your own inner depression.
And when you stop ... Well the reason you started doesn't go away. It just comes to the surface.
And now you have a stubborn loved one and have to deal with it like an adult.
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