Slappin’ Hams

Like, they're actually so in love with each other that they for real get married! I don't have to make that up! They're literally husbands! Isn't that neat? They're married husbands who are in love with each other!

don't understand why anyone would gloss over shane's other hookups or claim ilya never really enjoyed sleeping around. isn't it more delicious to think about how they had other people, went into those experiences with the full intent of deriving pleasure from them, did derive pleasure from them, and knew it still paled in comparison to having each other? everything is relative! I find it far less compelling to imagine them, from the beginning, cosmically engineered to have super unsatisfying sex with other people just because they're going to end up with each other in the end. like yes the very point is that no one does it for them like each other. but I'm only going to know to find that hot if other people did do it for them, to a DEGREE....... that is far lesser than their very special soulmate-level degree.

Harris wakes up to headlines that are just versions of “TROUBLE IN HOCKEY PARADISE?: ROZANOV AND HOLLANDER SEEN ALLEGEDLY THROWING FISTS IN OTTAWA NIGHTCLUB” and Shane sends him a rambling explanation about how he would Never abuse Ilya and it’s all a misunderstanding etc etc while Ilya just sends was a sex thing sorry ((

Shane giving Ilya the slowest wettest handjob and edging him to within an inch of his sanity and all Ilya can do is grab at the sheets and bitchily beg Shane to give him a fucking break while also moaning like a whore

Ilya and their teenage daughter being like ‘you’re not going out wearing that >:(‘ and Shane being like ‘Ilya I’ve seen you in less clothes at the grocery store’

Quite frankly yall need to be projecting more on the doms. Make the DOM have guilty sexual fantasies !!! Maybe the DOM is shamefully staring at the ceiling after waking up from a dream!!! Yall are cowards. Do none of you have any appreciation for the noble dom identity crisis. Do none of you have any respect for guilty sadists with control issues and who desperately want autonomy for once in their damn lives and who just want to Keep someone, for once, who want to be allowed to Want and Take . Do NONE of yall have any respect for sadists realizing with horror how badly they want to hurt the person they would do anything to protect and take care of and make smile? Cowards, all of you.